Why is my "ex" keeping tabs on me?

[Inbox]

A girl and I really liked each other, and after mistakes on both sides, she ended up rejecting me - it ended up being a brutal ending to our "relationship." After 4 and a half months of no contact or even seeing each other on campus, one of her close friends is in my class this semester (my "ex" is not in any of my classes).

Here's the rub: her friend is ALWAYS watching me intensely when I talk to a new girl. Additionally, it's only getting worse because yesterday, my "ex" saw me talking to a new girl (yes, she did get very jealous) and her friend only got more intense the very next day. And no, I don't think it's because her friend likes me. Frankly, it's pissing me off because I'm trying to move on, but shit like this is keeping me from doing so...

Why is my "ex" keeping tabs on me even though SHE'S the one who ended it?

[BitterSweetApplePie]

I'm going to explain from my experience:

As a girl, I've done this and I'm shameless about it. I didn't love my ex anymore, in fact I hated him with a burning passion. He cheated, lied, and abused me for over a year. It was shocking, I was angry and confused. I wanted to see how his life was after me and to see if he cared even a tiny bit, so I looked at his profile pretty regularly until I met my current partner. I've also grown a lot ainfe then and realized how insane I was being for no good goddamn reason. 😂

She broke things off with you and might have been having second thoughts. Instead, what she should have done, is actually contact you.
She sounds immature and insecure. It sounds like she may also be afraid because of how things ended. She may be keeping tabs to see if you move, how fast, and who with. She crazy.

Her friend needs to seriously chill out. It really isn't either of their business what you're doing and who you're doing stuff with. You should confront her friend and tell her to kindly piss off.

[BitterSweetApplePie]

*since then

[MissGeorgia]

Checking on your ex is honestly the worst thing you can do after a break up. It's a recipe for misery as you won't get them out of your mind.
It's better to not know.

[little_bird1]

I'm also keeping tabs on my ex and I'm the one who ended it. I'm not proud of it, just can't help it, I stalk his social media. But we broke up only 3 weeks ago so I guess it's still fresh for me. I dumped him because he started acting like an asshole and ignoring me, he simply didn't want to talk about the issues. I'm pretty sure he wanted me to end it so he wouldn't feel guilty. I can't explain it, I hate his guts and I know he's not good for me, I want to get back together. But I'm curious. Part of me doesn't wish him happiness so I'm kind of hoping to see something bad happening to him (I know I am evil!). Other part of me is still insanely physically attracted to him (I hate it!) because he's quite a good looking dude. Just getting a glimpse of him turns me on and I kind of enjoy it. I don't mind seeing him with other girls, I feel sorry for them.

I know I will eventually get bored of keeping tabs and move on.

[little_bird1]

I DON'T want to get back together.*

[stevemeh]

First of all control your hormonal bullshit.
Second, stop this " hate him but I'm still attracted to him" bullshit. It will do you no favors and makes you seem like a retard who can't keep her legs closed and still hot and horny over a guy who hate fucked her.

Third, being physically attracted to a guy who doesn't want you and most likely used younger sex and you never got the hint will only make guys think you are only good for sex and never respect you.

Fourth, dont become one of those women will fuck half the town in her youth and feel entitled to the good men while never giving them a chance to begin with till it became apparent that fuck boys were never gonna love anyway... but you are 30 maybe it's a bit too late for you...

[little_bird1]

@stevemeh I love it how the moment a woman uses a word "it turns me on" she is automatically slut-shamed. Sorry to disappoint you but I don't fuck everyone I'm attracted to. That title goes to you hypocrite men.

[Inbox]

@stevemeh yeah dude, relax. She's a human - she has needs too.

[MissGeorgia]

I kind of have to agree with Steve in that stalking a guy who doesn't want you isn't doing you any favours. It isn't healthy and shows a lack of self respect.
Everyone gets turned on. I don't think that was the point.

If someone treats you like shit and you're still after them, it shows a lack of standards, if you see what I mean.
Obviously you can't control who you are attracted to, but you can control what you do about it.
If you're still into someone who treats you badly, there is a message in that.
You Know?

[luciddreams420]

Happening to me right now. A lot of girls do it, they like drama... probably still has feelings and doesn't want you moving on till she finally has

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do the actions of her friend prevent you from moving forward?

[Inbox]

It's like reopening a scab wound

[MissGeorgia]

I think your issue should be with her friend.

If she had been told to keep an eye on you, she would have been more subtle.
This isn't coming from the girl you used to like.

[Inbox]

Then tell me, why does her friend keep an eye on me when she has no interest in me? Additionally, she's reacting more intensely after every time my ex sees me talking to a new girl - at the very least, they're communicating to each other about me.

Lastly, if it wasn't my ex, then why does my ex always get jealous every time I talk to a new girl? It's pretty clear her jealousy + friend being distraught + after every girl encounter + keeping a sharper eye = keeping tabs on me.

Her friend wouldn't give a shit if my ex didn't care about me anymore. The subtlety argument is irrelevant because not all women are the same - I never said she wasn't trying to be subtle.

[MissGeorgia]

This isn't your actual Ex though, right You weren't in relationship?

How do you know for sure that this friend doesn't like you?

When you haven't been with someone, but you got pretty close, it's unfinished business for some people. There is some regret there, and some curiosity. There are things you didn't do that they still want to do. So it's hard to let go.
Guys have a better way of shutting down feelings than girls.

You could say to her " can you stop fucking staring at me" and see what happens.

If you weren't slightly curious yourself, it wouldn't bother you. It would only bother you if you acutely disliked or really liked one or both of them.

[Inbox]

When I see her friend, I always say "hey" or "bye" and although she responds in a positive/friendly tone - she refuses to look at me in the eye. Additionally, the timing is too coincidental. She almost never showed interest before my ex and afterwards as well until I started to flirt with new girls.

When she watches me, I don't get the vibe of jealousy, rather it seems she's curious and trying to get a read on my situation with girl x or y. She even smiled once when I started to walk with another girl, but then watched us after we passed her.

The only alternative explanation is that she secretly is into me, but refuses to move forward because she knows that fucking me would hurt my ex - it's one of those principles that "you don't fuck your friend's ex's."

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Tell her to grow the fuck up and come speak to you personally of she has an issue with you. Not to get her friends to keep tabs on you.. Grown adults suppose to be here not high school kids

[slatyb]

Forget about it. If she's not threatening you just ignore it. You are over her, seems she's not over you. Sad but there's nothing to do but watch the show..

[secretgirl4u]

Some times the x has a change of heart especially when they see their x with someone new or they are a woman scorned and want to make their x miserable 💔

[aly34]

She might have feelings for u. But dont get urself involved in that ex thing. just move on. ignore her and her friend. past is past.

[aly34]

If the things were so good between u two, she wouldn't have been ur ex at the first place.

[WhiteShoulder]

Probably still likes you

[Akhilendra612]

What ever don't go for scrab back go forward god has made something special for u

[OfDeath]

Plotting your downfall

[Inbox]

You're the third person to tell me this, you really think so? If so, how will they do it?

[OfDeath]

I don't know

[Plitty-Tank]

Probably so she can screw up your life.

[Inbox]

You're the third person to tell me this, you really think so? If so, how will they do it?

[itsallaroundtheworld]

She still cares.