Why does my girlfriend want to go to prom with another guy (who she says is a friend)?

[shadowarrior99]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two and a half months. On the second date she asked me to go to prom with her (two months ago), I said yes. A week ago I asked her how much it was and she said just give me the money and I'll get the tickets. Yesterday she said her friend asked her to go before me (then why the heck did you ask me to go to prom?). She said he asked first. Apparently, it is a girl's firm, moral belief when a guy asks something before another guy, its freaking okay.

Ironically, I lost a previous girlfriend over a dance last year. Her guy asked her before me while we were dating, so that made it okay to go. She later broke up with me for this guy (that was a whole different girlfriend).

Back to the now, She said she's graduating (so am I) and its the last chance she has to be with her friends. She says she is going to be talking to her friends and doesn't want to make me feel bad, especially if she flirts with another guy. I threatened to break up with her, but she aggressively didn't want me to. I am confused on her behavior. Is she cheating on me? Why does she want to go to the prom with him and not her boyfriend, even though she says she would love to go with her bf? I believe she made up a lie somewhere in all of this. Help me!

Updates

+1 y

I forget to mention she likes to flirt, she says she likes to flirt with other guys. But I'm still her guy. She says she wants me to trust her. She said if the guy makes a move she will punch him.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks everyone for agreeing that something suspicious is going on. And ladies its a big boost to know that she should go with her boyfriend to the prom, not her friend. If she doesn't change her mind I'm dumping her. I'm giving her some leeway because I'm a nice guy, I should sump her for even considering to go with someone else. Ill let everyone know what happens, thanks for your support!

Updates

+1 y

Hey everyone, my girlfriend changed her mind and said she is going with me, so it looks like we're staying together. :) Thanks for your help everyone.

[csprankle]

You need to drop this chick ASAP I don't care if someone asked her before you too were together or not you always go with your boyfriend because that is a special night. And if she is flirting a lot with other guys that spells out big trouble. Something is just not right with this at all the old saying goes if it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck it is a duck. And she shouldn't be flirting with other guys and how will she know how she will handle if a guy make a move on her I really can't see her taking on a guy if he tries something on her. I think she must of made the lie up to about being asked by this other guy. I think you need to cut her lose before your emotions get too tied up in this chick that clearly doesn't feel the same way about you and you deserve a girl that will treat you with more respect then this girl she is clearly playing the field to see if something better comes along and I really don't think that this is the last chance to be with her friends is the real reason. Prom night is always about being with you boyfriend or g/f. I think she might of made plans with this guy because she likes him more so then you. She is clearly playing head games with all the boys she's flirting with and she is just playing you plan and simple. Your best to find a girl that won't do this to you.

[shadowarrior99]

Yeah, she does need to be dropped, I admit it. Until I find out what her decision is I'm going to put a hold on it though, and at least give her a chance. Dances in general are a special time for couples. Yeah if a guy made a move on her, she is the type that would probably let it happen. I agree that she must like him, because when a girl hangs around a guy A LOT and says, "Oh, we're just friends." That's B.S. She definitely made plans with him, because she's been wanting to go to prom with me.

[csprankle]

well a girl can hang around a guy and just be friends.when I was in high school all my friends were guys I had like two girl friends,but the diffrence when I had a boy friend I didn't really hang out with my guy friends as much I was alway with my boyfriend and his friends.i never dated in my circle of friends.but its good that you are willing to give her a chance you seem really calm over this and that's a really good thing. hopefully she makes the right decision but if not karma will come back

[morngunt]

My boyfriend flirts with other girls as well...it's just his personality. I can see where she is coming from that she wants to hang out with her friends that she has been close with for a longer period of time than yall have been. I can see why you would be mad about it too. If you truly cared and trusted her you would let her do this. I say you ask another girl to the dance and see how that plays out. If she really cares about you I'm sure she would be eye balling you the whole night. She would probably be a little jealous, but if not I would drop her.

[shadowarrior99]

Again, I would like to go to the dance, but I don't go to her school. I would have to find a girl to flirt with, while dating my girlfriend, and have her like me enough to go to prom, and go to prom with a girl I barely know when my girlfriend isn't there. Haha.

[morngunt]

wow sorry lol I thought yall went to the same school...umm...thats lame. I don't know now lol maybe she truly wants to hang out with her friends. I would trust her until she gives you a reason not to.

[shadowarrior99]

I told her she better be more sexual with me if she does this..and then she replied that in return she wants me to trust her. I treated her like crap yesterday to see what would happen, but nothing really.

[morngunt]

More sexual with you? That's kinda lame to tell her that...sounds like you don't trust her and that you are using her..

[shadowarrior99]

No I do not trust her. She's probably using me.. but I do care about her and said it because I felt like trash the way she was treating me so I wanted to treat her like it too.

[shadowarrior99]

I mean I would like a relationship somewhat like that, its just at age 18 there are really no classy girls.. not until I enter college this fall anyway.

[morngunt]

If you don't trust her then break up with her...without trust you don't really have a relationship

[shadowarrior99]

Ive been wanting to do that yesterday.

[Phoenix52]

Dude, maybe that's why she wants to go with another guy. Because you're acting childish and insecure through your actions. This relationship is only going to get worse because you b*tched her out for it. Let her do what she wants. This 'curse' of yours is your fault.

She'd better be more sexual with you? WOW DUDE. Nice blackmail. You want her to be a sl*t for you just because she wanted to go with another guy. Let her go, and do something you wanna do.

[Phoenix52]

Oh, and you want to go to her dance with someone else? That's foolish. She'll think you're a stalker. There's no need to get revenge on her for doing this to you.

[shadowarrior99]

I was kidding about going to the dance with someone else, it was just an idea. I admit I lost respect for her and started to treat her like trash. It seems like a curse because the first woman I treated with upmost respect, and she left. The second... is too much of a party person.

[Anonymous]

"especially if she flirts with another guy."

are you kidding me? she's telling you that she's planing on flirting with another guy? really?

sounds like she likes him better than you...

[shadowarrior99]

I forget to mention she likes to flirt, she says she likes to flirt with other guys. But I'm still her guy. She says she wants me to trust her. She said if the guy makes a move she will punch him.

I can't help but not trust her. What else do you think?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know, I don't know her. Trust your instincts on this

for me, I would rather go to prom with my boyfriend, I don't believe her story about him asking her before you. I think she made that up

[shadowarrior99]

My instincts say there's something wrong. Just like when my last girlfriend screwed me over for another guy. Apparently I'm cursed with freaking school dances. I know the average girl would want to go with her boyfriend. I read Stephen King's Carrie and understand some people have different motivations. I don't know about hers. I do not believe her story either, it has to be made up. BECAUSE SHE ASKED ME TO PROM TWO MONTHS AGO. Right? My girlfriend is the kind whose dreams are friends, social. Not academics.

[Opinion Owner]

i can tell, she sounds like that type. which is why I think if you want to make this work, you need to be there. if I were you, I would let her go with this guy, but then I would find another date and go with him

[shadowarrior99]

I wish I could do that. But the problem is that I don't go to her school. I would have to flirt with another girl from that school, and seduce her enough to go to prom while with my current gf... craziness hahah. So I don't think I'm going to do that. I wish there was some way of knowing.. Ill talk to her about it and tell her if she doesn't go with me. I'm dumping her. I debased her like crazy yesterdayl, and she didn't dump me, oddly.

[Opinion Owner]

don't take your girlfriend to your prom. go with someone else and see if she likes being treated like that

[shadowarrior99]

A girl from another school asked me to go to their school prom. Before all of this I refused because I though it was wrong, but my girlfriend said it would be okay since I used to go to that school... this is frustrating :(

[Opinion Owner]

lol that is so wrong. sounds like you guys have an open relationship, not an exclusive one

[shadowarrior99]

Well I will ask her if we have an open relationship or exclusive. I wish I had a normal girlfriend :(

[Opinion Owner]

lol

[Opinion Owner]

yay for her, for making the right decision!

[JohnnyBlaze]

Flirting can be okay. Hanging out with friends is just fine. But reneging on the invitation to your boyfriend and asking another guy? That is completely unacceptable in my books. Asking you to trust her would be considered normal if she was just going out with some friends to hang out. For something as major as a prom, there is NO reason for her not to take you. I'm guessing that her friends were planning on being there anyway, so she'd still have plenty of opportunities to talk and dance with them throughout the night anyway. Granted, I tend to over-analyze things at times, but I'd be extremely suspicious if my girlfriend did that to me.

She says to trust you, but trust is a two-way street. You two haven't been together all that long, so it's not as though absolute trust is reasonably expected at this stage. Yes, you need to trust her on some things, but she needs to make sure that she's not giving you reasons to doubt that trust. And this move of hers isn't helping that trust one little bit.

I think you two need to talk.

[shadowarrior99]

I completely agree that I need to talk to her. She can be with her friends at prom no matter what, this loser that wants to take my girl while I am dating her can go with someone else and chat with her some other time. There is only one prom, so why the hell would my girlfriend not take me? I am suspicious of her motives.

Thanks for that trust speech, she is indeed not helping me trust her. You analyzed things perfectly.

[cyrus7]

I would dump her, wtf? if you wanna go with another guy then obviously I mean nothing to you lol peace

[shadowarrior99]

Yeah, I really want to dump her too. If she goes with him I probably will.

[lollivaunni]

That's bull. Your her boyfriend and she could've accepted you as her prom date a anyway. Ask and take some one else because she seems to not even one bit about you not going to prom with her. She seems like she's hiding something and not being trustworthy or reasonable but like anonymous user said trust your instincts.

[shadowarrior99]

Yeah there is definitely something shady going on, everyone agrees on that I think. Her moral principles are out of whack. My instincts say if she doesn't go with me, I'm through with her.

[PezzaltyBob]

I don't get that, she should be wanting to go with you. You're her boyfriend, it's like sorta your job. That just doesn't seem right to me

[shadowarrior99]

If a girl doesn't get that, who will? lol. I don't find the best girls for dances :( I agree its my job to go, why the heck am I in a relationship if she doesn't want to go with her boyfriend?

[PezzaltyBob]

Well, hey. I'm happy you guys are going together and I hope everything works out =)

[Anonymous]

Bottomline you're in a relationship she should be taking her boyfriend not just some "friend". I wouldn't buy that at all. That's B.S. she is playing around.

[shadowarrior99]

Yeah, I don't buy it either since a previous girlfriend screwed me over in the same way. I mean twice in a row, come on! It is complete B.S.

[csprankle]

good for you that it worked out the way it did best of luck!

[shadowarrior99]

Thank you.

[csprankle]

your welcome

[Anonymous]

Good.However,be cautious,let's hope she doesn't change her mind again.If she does she is definitely playing around and being inconsiderate of you.

[shadowarrior99]

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

She is entertaining herself with other guys.Why even bother.And doesn't want to go to the prom with her OWN boyfriend yes pure B.S.!

[eidahl]

Dump her & go with a hotter girl. =d

[shadowarrior99]

hahaha Yeah :)

[alltheabove1212]

dump her ass

[shadowarrior99]

First ill take a dump on her ass then dump her :)