Should my boyfriend go to prom with another girl?

[bellabugaboo]

I've been dating this boy for about 2 months now. He recently moved from St. George to more northern Utah. About 4 hours away from home to go to a basketball Academy to pursue further in that aspect in life. About a month ago a girl from his old school had asked if he would want to go to prom together. He called me and asked how I felt about it. I replied with honestly I think that's kind of weird since were dating. Anyway we haven't talked about it since until last night he told me he was going to go. I He could tell I was a little annoyed, but he has already told the girl yes and the dance is this weekend. So if he doesn't go she won't have a date. Should I be okay with this?

[SnowedIn]

Wow. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. That's not nice.

In a general sense, I could see a situation where this might work. If the guy is crystal clear with the girl he's going to the prom with that they're doing it as some form of friendship. Like they were on the debate team together. And the school doesn't allow outside guests. And the girlfriend knew about it in advance and knew the other girl. Again, I could see a very tightly controlled situation where this might work.

BUT.

Where I have the problem in this case isn't necessarily that he wanted to go. It's that he asked for your opinion, you had hesitations, and not only did he ignore that, he asked her anyway and then had the temerity to be (or seem which is the same thing) annoyed.

Your question was whether you should be okay with this. That could go both ways. Frankly, he hurt you from what I read so the answer should really be no, but it could still go both ways. The real issue at hand is not the prom or even the other girl. It's that your boyfriend ignored what was important to you. That's the issue in this relationship that you both need to deal with. I don't think it's an automatic dump him, but you both need to talk through this and address this.

Again, really sorry this happened and that you're having to deal with it.

[AviatorTom]

Here's a similar true story for you to think about.

A girl (let's call her Debra, not her real name) is invited to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. At the time, she is dating a guy we'll call Walter (not his real name), and they plan to go to the wedding together. As the wedding approaches, she and another guy (let's call him John) get engaged, and Debra is going to break up with Walter but hasn't yet. Since Debra promised Walter to go to the wedding, she asks John if that's okay. He reluctantly agrees, telling her, "I'll have you for the rest of our lives. Go ahead." At the wedding, Debra breaks up with Walter. Debra and John get married a few months later, and have a long and happy 30-year marriage.

[PrettyPriya]

No, that is ridiculous. It is also ridiculous for him to even suggest it, let alone get mad at you or annoyed for saying no. Who cares if she doesn't have a date since he won't go with her. That sounds like a really poor excuse to go on a date with another girl.

Imagine if he said to you, this girl asked me out and if I don't go out on a date with her, she will have to eat alone. Does that make any sort of sense to you? It doesn't to me.

He needs to respect you and the fact that the two of you are in a relationship. That requires sacrifice, among other things. The fact that he even asks tells me there is a real lack of respect. Sorry, I know that isn't what you are going to want to hear, but it is the truth.

If my boyfriend would ever mention something like that, he would be an "ex" boyfriend in the next 60 seconds. I know this might be an extreme example, but here is another one. What if he said "well, she needs someone to have sex with and if I don't do it she won't get any sex"... yeah, right.

[fembotnpc777]

It's important that you set precedents now when you're young. He should have respected your feelings over hers: thus, she's who he's loyal too. Leave, or this pattern will continue in your other relationships in the future. Make sure you go to the prom with a hot guy and grind on him a bit. Just kidding on that last one, but...

[Guy13]

I would not be okay with it as he clearly is demonstrating you are not a priority in his life.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you had any prior discussions about dating exclusively?

[Summeroflove]

Yeah I understand not being okay with it.

[Man-O-Metal]

Let's just pick apart your question here.
1. Boyfriend.
2. Prom.
3. Another girl.


Put 1 and 3 together. That's never a good thing right? OK, well if 1 and 3 are together and you add 2 into the mix... That's just absurd. I couldn't tell you point blank what's going through his head, but it's not appropriate. I don't care if they are best friends and have planned this since they were 8. You are dating. You go together or you go with your friends of the same sex. Now I don't have all the facts, but it kinda sounds like this chick wants your man and is taking this opportunity to make her move. But keep in mind, this is just an observation based on the information you provided.

[abc3643]

When I was a senior in high school, my girlfriend was a junior. She and her friend who've known each other all their lives (and also share a birthday) pledged to go to junior prom together before we were a couple. I knew the guy and he was a nice kid (and I suspected possibly gay), but I had no problem with her going to junior prom with him. She went with me to my senior prom although we were broken up by then.

[rachel776]

tell him you are going to yours with another guy and however he responds, that should be your response also

[Voldra]

What boundaries are you going to define in a relationship & what you're willing to compromise is essentially what you're asking in my opinion. Only you can answer that for yourself.

[rienna888]

No, wtf thats your man, why the fuck did he agreed without your consent? fuck her feelings, you are his priority here

[In_Trance]

how would he feel if you went with another guy?

[Anonymous]

Thats not fair to you

[Drumlin2001]

Nope

[panamared1]

Be ok with it