Why is she suddenly so cold towards me?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday, I met up with a girl and some friends for the first time in a few months. Last I saw her, we were cool and even texted a bit during the lockdown.

When I saw her yesterday, she was very brief with me. Only hi, bye, and when I asked her a question, she’d respond. Normally, she would ask me questions and engage me in conversation, but nothing. I don’t get it.

I did ask her out before the lockdown and she said she had something else to do. She didn’t exactly say no, but didn’t offer a make up time. I didn’t want to be too pushy either so I just dropped it. We still texted after so I thought things were ok.

Could it be that she doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to lead me on? I feel like I lost a good friend. I only asked her out because I thought she liked me. I rarely ask girls out and only do it when I’m sure there’s some level of interest. I’m just so confused, I’m not a bad guy.

[btbc92]

She wasn't interested in you like that before and not now either. She is more likely being very guarded right now because now that you asked her out months ago, she feels that you're only interested in being around her because you only want to date her. So now she's being cold and civil so she can stop being emotionally attached to you. Because in the end she know she's going to get hurt when you walk away.

[Johnz8]

How is she going to get hurt emotionally?

[btbc92]

By attaching herself to you when that isn't what she wants if she doesn't even know what your about. Now she figured she has you all figured out, she wants to detach. She rather about future pain and disappointment.

[Asker]

Interesting... I don’t plan on walking away from her or our mutual friends.

[btbc92]

That's the not the point. The point is she gets to be the judge who she wants to further invest in her life or not. Don't expect your friendship to be warm and fuzzy that's for sure.