Why has she gone cold on me all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

There’s this women at the cafe I work at. We’ve been friends for a about a year now. I helped her through some personal problems and in the process I developed feelings for her.

A few weeks ago, I asked her out and she rejected me. For a few days, I ignored her to try get my head straight. I heard she was all emotional and sad on me I ignoring her. About a week later the Cafe closed for a while due to COVID.

She then text me asked me how long I decided on ignoring her and that she wanted her friend back etc... A day or so later it went back to normal. We’d continuously text, talk etc and it was fine like before.

This week we came back to work and yesterday she was fine with me, we shared a laugh but today she’s gone all cold on me. Every time she’s seen me walking towards her or she walks towards me she’s ignores me and quickly moves away to do other stuff. I don’t understand why she’s doing this.

What do I do?

[ananias55]

She's not interested in dating you. But she doesn't want to lose you as a friend.

But from her point of view, the fact that you ignored her hurts, cause with women sometimes losing a friend is just as painful as a break up. So now that you're talking again she's going to keep her distance in the hopes that you lose interest.

But were both guys, we both know that won't happen easily.

So its your choice, keep being her friend and accept her distancing behavior or just stop and move on. Either way, you won't win her over.

[Anonymous]

Can’t put a finger other than maybe she thinks you’re still trying to get at her BUT my recommendation for you is, respect yourself to show that your busy and doing things to keep yourself occupied but also be mindful towards her. Boundaries go a long way and if she’s feeling any type of way she should just voice it to give you a clue because chances are you’re not going to know what you’re doing wrong in her eyes. Personally if you are into her still, just keep in mind she’s not communicating her issue now and probably isn’t in the future.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is just what women do. She is building her friend zone bench and she is deciding where you will sit on it. She runs hit and cold because she is "talking" to a bunch of other guys.