Why are guys so hot and cold?

Question

I have been friends with benefits with this guy for about 6 months. We are #1 BFFS on snapchat and we talk every day. Before he was very sweet and respectful. We would play video games online when we weren't together, and we even joked about taking a trip together. He would straight up act like my boyfriend without the title. Then I called him out on some disrespectful behavior, and he has been distant ever since. It's like he couldn't handle being called out for acting rudely.

We used to have such good communication and now the relationship feels super distant and cold. We have always agreed that we were single and this was a casual relationship, but it's confusing to me why he went from acting like a boyfriend to being cold and telling me that he is hooking up with other people. Up until a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't looking to hook up with other people besides me. Now he is very obviously seeking out other relationships.

Why do guys act so sweet and then all of a sudden switch to being cold. I thought we were cool but now I'm just disappointed in the way he is acting.

Siren777 · Accepted Answer

" 'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don't really want to stay, no
(You) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride..." - hot N cold by Katy Perry
Sorry, this got me singing...
She definitely got those lyrics right, don't you think?
If they're doing this, they love playing mind games.

Biancam13 · Accepted Answer

I agree with some of the people here, he doesn’t like you enough. Sorry lovely. Find someone else who’s just that into you. A guy who is really interested will not want a casual relationship with you, he will want the real deal. Especially if your thing together has been going on for a while.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He's not into you enough to want to be your boyfriend, you gave him a bit of shit so he thinks there's gonna be drama, he's moved on to other women who won't give him any drama. Once they do he'll do the same thing.

Friends with benefits is a stupid idea for a woman.

Honesttguy · Accepted Answer

Well find another guy with benefits, disrespecting was not aggreed upon. He was too weak and fragile to work on himself. So he run away. His problem, not yours. Look for smarter guy next time someone who also want to improve, better spent time for both. In my opinion.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

People are hot and cold when they are aspiring to do the bare minimum required to maintain the status quo.

If he really liked you, you'd know. If he hated you, you'd know.

If he's bored of you, he'd probs 100% ghost you but he can't in this situation because there are complications.

I'm sure he likes you enough. Like more than being alone. But not enough to turn other people down. So he's just using you as a placeholder until he finds someone better and then he's dump you for sure.

lil429 · Answer

If he's acting hot and cold, he's just not that into you cause a person who really likes you would never give you mixed signals. I would say give him a taste of his own medicine and start acting cold towards him, he'll be running back to you in no time.
I had the same situation with a guy, called him on his bluff and he's been acting weird ever since. I liked him and I still like him but he cannot disrespect me and expect me to ignore it.

Anonymous · Answer

well, you are friends with benefits because you do not want to deal with the commitment and that can include the negatives of a relationship, like arguing.
6 months is pretty long for such a relation, you should consider stopping the casual sex if you want to safe the friendship.

Bellatris · Answer

"... you're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go-o"

modelUN242 · Answer

You’re generalizing all guys to be like your friends with benefits.
First of all, a friends with benefits is a sex partner and nothing else so you shouldn’t expect much.
You always get hurt in these situations. Sounds like you liked him giving you attention and acting like a boyfriend. And then when he was looking to hookup with other women, you became jealous.
Also, anyone who does friends with benefits is a slut.

NobleFlight · Answer

Firstly, I don’t think you should judge all guys by your experience with one.
Second off, I don’t know of many people like this, maybe he couldn’t take criticism and doesn’t want to talk because of it? Try asking him.

Lisalisa2021 · Answer

MAybe he has noticed that you have a little more feelings than friends with benefits.. He may also have been in a bad mood. Just give him a little space for a days and say you felt uncomfortable with the way he was acting and is he ok?
It also sounds like he is trying to make you jealous by saying he is seeing other Girls.

The_Maphio · Answer

Let me be clear. Friends with benefits means that the guy wants the fun part of the reletionship minus the unavoidable mutual bitching of a couple's life. Let's say you overstepped a border, there.

Shihab91 · Answer

you live a lie and bullshit... between man and a woman there is only love or lust... it seems that you care about him more than just a friend with benefits. my advice is to stop it either in a real relationship or nothing.

hsshannah96 · Answer

Because he’s a jerk  simple as that  so are most of the guys I’ve known

jasco · Answer

He's upset, angry, embarasse, along with not taking to well to someone whose not even dating him or anything more than a hook up telling him off

spartan55 · Answer

Maybe he didn't agree with your assessment about him being rude.

Anonymous · Answer

wow, thats cold! If I had arrangement like that she would be respected because of are agreement and maybe even a little spoiled... I mean dam your giving him what he needs and as long as your satisfied with what you get from him! Win, win!

BubbaTech · Answer

If the behavior wasn't towards you, you didn't say... Then it wasn't for you to tell him.  If it was towards you. Then he was testing the waters for a breakup... He is thinking of ending it.

Anonymous · Answer

Ahh the AGE OLD QUESTION 😆 I’m just here for the answers...

whatdoyouwantt · Answer

Try to ask him if you think it’s worth it. Otherwise just let it go. Maybe he lost interest.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Ask women. they are the masters of hot and cold and the silent treatment.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You lost me at "I have a friends with benefits". He runs "hot and cold" because you are just a cum dumpster to him. Understand?

michael1469 · Answer

If you were just FWBs why does it matter if he doesn't wanna anymore?

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you should see your tone when you said something to him. If you tell us nicely we can work out on it, but if you act like a rude person we lose respect for you, its as simple as that.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

He's just angry and embarrassed.

Miristheiss · Answer

Because Katy Perry gave them the idea.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why girls are so hot and cold

Iron_Man · Answer

Those things never work out

Anonymous · Answer

Because u tried to pussy whip him?

Why are guys so hot and cold?

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