Girlfriend says I'm really nice?

[Anonymous]

Never enjoyed being called really "nice", makes me feel like some sort of weenie. My girlfriend always says this though, that I'm so nice. I have seen a lot of "nice" guys get stepped on, and it never works out for them. My friend would buy his girlfriend a ton of gifts, do anything she wanted, and was at her call, and his girlfriend said he was so nice and a gentlemen but he still got cheated on because he was too nice and boring. I avoid doing this stuff, I try to her have my own personal life while still including her sometimes in it. I guess I want to not be too nice, or be an asshole if you know what I mean,

The thing is, is this working for my advantage? I do treat her well, and respect her but still I barely respond to her texts, I don't let her ever disrespect me, if she starts acting immature I'll call her out on it, tease her a lot, and I bang her like an animal in my bed, pulling her hair, ramming her, and spanking ha ha so I avoid being that typical nice guy, but I am naturally really caring, and nice...

Just wondering if I'm worrying about nothing, or if I'm doing it right when she tells me I'm really nice.

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[PHILR]

just curious ,i'm 64 isee by the age bracket over 45. many women of an earlier age may say that you'd be the ideal cross between the nice guy and jerk which many women (14-25) believe is perfect and at times are . yet I disagree with you and the gals here . because I was that proverbial sweet geeky nerd nice guy discribed as a sweet nice guy with the wavy hair lol. and blieve me I was all that and more. yes some nice guys like your friend may at times get screwed over by female jerketts.

girls here is something you may not know , these same guys your flaming now the ones you think are whimps,doormats and a lot of other names they may be called while in teens are yes overlooked as boyfriend material and yes are relaegated many times to the dreaded friend zone.

yet here's the clencher when many of these same women (14 -25) get older and realize that the drool worthy guys they went after inj high school weren't all that and their fed up guess who they look for (this can be proven over and over again here on the net) that's right these type of guys that got rejected while young. mind you many of these guys haven't changed one iota yet now these same women find that these guys make better fathers,husbands and providers and I might add as a bionus do not cheat (they may occassionally get cheated on however as in such case as "OP" here stated but they are rare also. this can again be proven over and over again by women who admit they screwed up while young.

you can boo this all you want but like said anyone who wants to look will see that this is a true statement that can bew found on the net multiple times more so than the opposite of women over 25. think on that oine.

[PHILR]

JUST MY TAKE AS A GUY BUT ACCORDING TO WHAT WOMEN WOULD LIKE US TO BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT A MIX OF WHAT THEY SAY THEY LOOK FOR IN A GUY. IF IT DOESN'T WORK THEN I WOULD START WONDERING WHAT IT REALLY IS THAT WOMEN DO WANT.

[XoFoolish4uXo]

i see that the one girl commented that 'you're right and women don't like nice guys'. That was stereo typing and can not be spoken as fact. There are women that like every kind of guy. I know plenty of women, including myself...that love nice guys. But above all things, I think a man should treat me naturally...not plan things out like you seem to be. You seem like you're purposely doing things, like not texting her back, sometimes including her in your life or being rough with her in bed to show her that you're a man. but respecting her enough to show her that you're nice, but not too nice. That's playing a game. Just be real. Not all nice guys get cheated on. If you want to be nice, be nice... just don't be a pushover. But not being a pushover does not include treating her harshly. It means having an inner sense of security that you don't need to verbally or physically show. If you have confidence & security in yourself, it doesn't need to be advertised with gestures...people just know. Not all nice guys are door matts for women to walk all over. Some actually have self confidence, but are naturally sweet. She obviously likes you, or she wouldn't compliment you...so what's the problem? If you're scared she's gonna cheat on you, then here's a tip that may shock you...you probably shouldn't be dating her exclusively. You should never be with anyone who you can't trust to be your complete and true self with, in fear that they'll cheat. If you feel you can trust her completely, then stop with all the games and be who you really are. You shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone.

[Anonymous]

It's fine for a guy to buy gifts, do nice things for her, etc, but it's when the girlfriend doesn't appreciate these things, or expects these things that she may leave or cheat. If it is a girl who has always gotten what she wants, then he will just be another boring guy doing things she wants, those kind of girls really make all girls look bad, but there are actually a lot of girls out there who appreciate a nice guy, even if they're calling him nice to his face! lol. Honestly, I would tell my boy he was a good person if I thought he was nice because it does sound bad.

[Anonymous]

You are right, women don't want a man that is nice. Its is not attractive. Its pure biology, and unconcious behavior of women. Women don't want asshole either, who wants a man that treats them bad. Its a balance of being a real man and taking the lead but still knowing how to be loving too. and based on what you wrote - you got that?

So, what's the worry here? You worry that she might cheat or leave because she thinks your are nice? Its OK to be nice IF you got that man thing going on the side. Only you know the best if that's the case.

[lucyskala]

soi true!

[Anonymous]

if she says you are "too nice" it might mean that she sees you as someone that is sort of like a walking mat. But if she says you are "nice" it probably just means she thinks you are a good person. That should be fine if you are nice, just as long as you are not too nice is what I think.