My girlfriend cheated on me, she regrets now...what should I do?

[miserabledude]

I dated this girl for almost a year now, we would fight (she's flirty and I get jealous) but deep down we love each other and were planning a marriage after university. Everything was perfect until I return from my holidays. I got this feeling she is hiding something from me so I checked her computer and found messages to MY schoolmate. I confronted her and she told me she developed feelings for him when I was away and had slept at his place every night but they didn't have sex. She said she didn't tell me about it because she is afraid of losing me and said I am the one she really loved and they have already stopped contacting each other even though she still had some feelings for him. I was heartbroken but I gave her a chance anyway because I love her a lot.

However I can't get this "they must have had sex" feeling out of my mind. So I tricked her and told her I knew everything and to no surprise she admitted it. She said they were drunk and both felt very guilty afterward and that's why they decided not to see each other again. I told her we should break up and immediately she bursted into tears and begged me to take her back. I was determined and told her I don't love her anymore. She said it's okay but she wants me anyway because she knows one day I will love her back. After hours of begging she attempts suicide (I know this is hardcore), I don't know what to do so I said I will give it another shot.

Now she is treating me like gold and she promised to be honest with me because now she realizes how much she loves me and how much she wants to marry me. Problem is I am not getting over this (yet), she admits she still had feelings for the guy but she expects it to go in the near future. I also know she's flirty in nature (not a slut though). What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

I understand the right thing to do is to move on but I love her a lot and I really thought she was the one. By the way I am sorry I didn't mean to post this under the sexuality category.

[queenofpeen]

Honestly, I'm a firm believer in, "If she/he truly loves you, she/he won't cheat on you." It's not right to do that to someone you supposedly care about.

Plus, as Broken_InSide said, it's really hard to get trust back into a relationship once it's gone. You say "she's flirty," you know it's her nature, so won't it be hard to trust that it won't happen again? Being paranoid is miserable.

[queenofpeen]

@Update: I know, it's insanely hard. :( Maybe you should just give yourself some time alone to get over what she did, to clear your head, and then just see where things stand? Looking back on a previous relationship I had with a guy who cheated on me, if I had just taken some time away from him, the decision would have been easier. Being around him and talking to him a lot while I was still hurting made it impossible to think rationally, haha.

[miserabledude]

Thank you for your advice :) I probably need some time and hope to get this sorted before summer. Cheers!

[Broken_InSide]

don't ever take her back, she didn't care about your feelings when she slept with him why you should care about hers now?

plus, if she cheated on you once, how to know she won't do it again? how you are going to trust her after she cheated and got the guts to LIE to u?

a relationship without a trust worths nothing.

[Distant]

If my girlfriend ever cheated on me, I would break up with her. Alcohol is no excuse. If she can't handle herself with a few drinks in her then she shouldn't have been in such a situation. She clearly wasn't thinking of you at that particular moment. Drunk or not.

[Shaun]

Well, if you aren't going to listen to the people who tell you she's a cheating skank and you'll be foolish for marrying her, why ask the question.

[miserabledude]

you are probably right, I think all I need is some time to clear my head, thanks mate!

[SonicBoomBoom]

Well, there is no excuse for what she did. She cheated on you, and even admitted having feelings for this other guy. When a girl who just cheated says she will be honest with you from now on, I highly doubt she will. Break up with her

[Anonymous]

you will be a better man than I am if you take her back. if you loved her and she go'es off and had sex with someone less that's mest up I would not give it another shot.

[hALLDAY]

Move on, cheating is never justified.