Have you ever been led on sexually and then after 2 months, suddenly rejected? Who leads someone on by sending them pictures in underwear, and flirt with them, only to reject them when things start to become more intense.
Yes, I have been manipulated like that.
No, I haven't been manipulated like that.
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+1 y
I told her that, she matters more to me than sex, but she kept starting shit to make me angry. Then she used that anger as an excuse to end the friendship. I think I was just a side hoe. Once she found out that I was not as muscular inside as she thought, she ended the friendship. I don't care about the sex, but why end the friendship?
It is human nature to manipulate one another to get our needs met. It can be intentional or unintentional, malign or benign, with good or bad intent as well.
Most people do not manipulate each other intentionally, or at least not consciously. It sounds to me like the girl you were dealing with just wants attention, she wants to be wanted. But having sex might be scary for her, or she has no desire for it with you; but she still wants to feel sexy and have your attention.
The situation somewhat reminds me of a girl I dated who was very cute and dumped her boyfriend to pursue me. We did a lot together, spent a lot of time together, but we never had sex. It would get to the point where a couple normally would have sex, but then she would "blue ball" me. I have had resistance with women before, but it's usually a matter readily solved by a bit more foreplay, either emotional or physical. This didn't seem to make a difference to her. She would lay with me on my bed, with her head between my legs, touching me and asking me if I wanted her to give me head, describing it in detail, etc. But then again, never going there when it came down to it. Eventually (after about a month or two of this), it created negative tension and we fought a bit and broke up.
To this day, I don't really understand what happened with her or what her motivations were. I would be better prepared to talk with her about it now (I like to think) but at the time I was not communicating effectively. She told me that she didn't want to feel like a guy just wanted her for sex, which was a fine reason for me for the first couple weeks, but after that and especially with all the blue balls sessions, I got frustrated. My best guess is she was a virgin and wanting to, but scared to at the same time, and also not wanting to say she was a virgin.
Oh yes, I been with a few girls that did this to me , pretty much mislead me to believe that things are going great and then all of sudden you mean nothing to them , you were just a convenience to them , sadly to say, most girls will use sex to gain something from a guy, they use it as a weapon cuz they know us guys love sex , when you are with a girl that has Lots of sex with you in the beginning and things are going great then all of a sudden it dies down and you question why? Then you start coming on to her and making passes at her she pushes you away and makes the excuse that all you care about is sex , she plays a victim and makes you feel you have to earn it from her , if you don’t put up with her bullshit she will go fuck someone else cuz girls have lists of guys to choose from waiting to stick their dicks in her where a guy usually doesn’t. So when a girl starts using sex as a weapon best thing to do is leave her ass and move on and find a girl that values you like you value her , Being manipulated by someone you give your heart to is the worst thing ever , Someone that loves and values you won’t manipulate you
But I didn’t intend to be manipulative. I had an ex colleague come on VERY strong. I thought he was being friendly to start off with, but his workplace messages became daily (and intense) - and I didn’t really know how to tell him that I wasn’t interested, so I went with the flow (hoping he would tail off).
I then just wanted out, when he didn’t seem to go away... so I abruptly stopped messaging him back - and just hoped that he would disappear.
Instead he went completely crazy, blowing my work phone up, sending me multiple texts, instant messages, voice messages, and multiple emails - all in the space of a few hours. He said he didn’t understand how I could “end it abruptly”, when I didn’t actually believe there was anything to start off with other than his misinterpretation.
I can now objectively see how he felt led on - but my point is that this kind of outcome is sometimes *not* driven by manipulation, if that makes any sense.
It depends on the intensity or misinterpretation of a man. This is a scenario that doesn’t involve making selfies, though ! .
And I also can see that it’s tough for guys to understand when a woman is being nice (in a friendly capacity) VS when she’s being flirtatious and potentially open to romance.
Yes and no. Maybe, I don't know. I once offered a guy I liked a friends with benefits relationship. He turned me down and instead asked to be my boyfriend. We dated for a while, and the relationship was actually great. I ended up catching strong feelings for him. Then we finally had sex, he took my virginity, and then he dumped me. He said he only wanted sex. I was heart broken, not because he only wanted sex, but that he went out of his way to make me become attached to him just to leave me. I would’ve had sex with him without a relationship.
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Exactly, it's their ability to pretend for so long that infuriates me. Every man or woman that shows interest in me, only see me as a side hoe and that's it. I don't even get a genuine friendship.
Yeah but in my case it didn’t really make sense. I was offering him no strings attached sex to begin with. So that pretty much means he decided to intentionally play with my feelings just for his own entertainment.
Yeah but more in what I consider the male version, where the guy shows other interests than the sexual even though it is mainly the sex he wants. I once had a guy who flirted with me for a month. We were teasing each other, having both fun and deep conversations, held hands and hug tied and he never tried to do more. I was naïve and thought he was just shy, and that I had finally found a guy who wanted to get to know me better before doing something more physical. But my alarms went up when I was finally all alone with him and I tried to get close enough to kiss, but he avoided that. Turned out he had a girlfriend.
I had being manipulated since I started to understand words. First by mom to make me eat food and be a good person. By dad. By teachers, by friends, by classmates, by sisters, by cousins. But the most interesting thing is I was too much manipulated, you will only see few people like that. And I thing is I can manipulate almost everyone now. You better be a Sherlock before trying me. I manipulate My parents, sisters, Friends, Family, people I know. But I never misuse it. I have no option if my parents are talking wrong decisions which will affect us in future. And I have an amazing friend who had mastery in these things and I always tried to absurd all his techniques and methods. But I only use these techniques for sake of good. I got very strong moral !
I haven't been manipulated in that way exactly because I've always been the type to ask what 'this' was before I got emotionally invested into something with someone. It's something I picked up when I was a teenager.
However, of course I've been manipulated before... maybe even more than I should have. It's a very bad thing.
Yes, I have been manipulated more than i would care to admit. Because of this, my guard is up. I'm not bitter really, but slow to trust. Usually people who try to manipulate you have no regard for personal boundaries. I've been around the block a few times and I know how to sort these people out. It's a matter of knowing what patterns to look for because you have also seen them before.
It seems like she probably got bored. I hate to say it but I know plenty of people both male and female who doo these kinds of things because they are bored and want to feel risky or just are in desperate need of attention. Once you supplied that hit of adrenaline, she probably lost use for you. I'd honestly say pick you head up king and stop letting that crown slip. You should be off to better and kinder people who will actually treat you like a person. You deserve better :)
Because she’s confused about how she feels about you. You don’t fall in the friendship catagory but you also don’t fall in relationship catagory, this means she knows she’s needy for your attention and she knows that’s wrong but she also knows she can’t change her need for it. She’s doing you a favour let her go.
God I hope this is the same thing going on in the head of my crush. She's well older than me at 47 and married but she told me she's separated from her husband for all intends and purposes, they live and sleep in separate parts of the house, barely interact and the last time they went out together he left her at a bar. She continually rejected my ideas of meeting for dinner and dancing and said we're just friends but then also called me cute regularly and admitted I'm attractive. I got told after this that there's 0 chance and then I got her to admit she missed me. She tells me how terrible it is cleaning up after her husband and how tired she is and how she's not in love and married for convenience but when I asked her if she's happy with her situation she said yes and it led to the last argument which might have put the nail in the coffin on this. Difficult to say. She cut contact for a few months before and then messaged me out of the blue saying that she was concerned about a friend in the pandemic. Except, I have my friends and I don't really feel the need to message them about how they're doing in the pandemic, I just check their fb.
I don't know. Don't want to let this go yet. Especially if there's a chance she does return the feeling but is just too damn scared or stubborn to admit it.
Yep... Had 3 years ago something like this. I was in my first year of study when a girl from my study randomly came to me at an event. She flirted with me, went together to an local store to get some alcohol and sitting at an random spot by the water. I thought we had some kind of connection since we talked every day and had fun together at events. All in the end just to find out about 3 months later, only thing she wanted was to use someone as malicious pleasure for her snapchat...
I found out when a friend of mine mentioned she was posting about me on her snaps, stories etc. He showed me one and yeah... He said he found out some days before about this stuff. Even though I don't fully believe that part..
Well yes i have. It was the last thing i would of expected from that person. im still dealing with the afternath of extreme manipulation. Its not an easy thing to come to realization with. It was like i said the last. thing i expected from that person.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Flirting and having sex are too diffrent things. We all flirt a little and people nowadays basically share their half naked pictures on social media, that does not mean they want to have sex with everyone who likes their pictures. Your issue is, you are too weak to deal with rejection and nobody wants to deal with an angry and abusive person for a shitty tiny reason. Instead of blaming the other side to relax your heart, think of what could you have done wrong.
Yes, unfortunately. Have been sexually used like three times, but one particular time I remember that I started chatting a guy and things got sexual pretty fast. After talking for about a month we confessed feelings for each other, and then a couple more months pass and I find out he has been cheating on me. I send him screenshots of the proof and ask him what it's about, and I never hear a reply back. Eventually, he just blocks me.
Just remember... if she's making you wait, she already gave it to Chad, Tyrone & Mike for free. 99.9% chance.
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I actually end up as the Chad, Tyrone, or Mike, and I absolutely hate it. They keep me limited to Instagram, and soon enough I realize that I'm just the side hoe.
Then you need to stop giving time to whores. Right now you're addicted to sex to the point where it's hard for you to say, nah... When you're able to say no & not care you'll have all the power. Also learn to not just see how a woman looks physically but her character. When you tune yourself properly you'll actually find the wrong kind of woman repulsive regardless of her physical looks.
Like getting off any other drug... start not giving in. Stop wasting time on social media too. There's nothing good that's going to come out of that for you.
