Why did we have breakup sex?

[Anonymous]

Me and my (ex?) Girlfriend just had breakup sex. Things have been difficult in the past couple of months for us. She decided that she no longer has the same feelings she has for me. For the past month its felt like we've been on the edge of breaking up but neither of us had completely pulled the trigger. Neither of us has cheated I know this for certain. Personally I want to salvage the relationship. We've been together for 2 years. I do truly believe I love her. Well she came over tonight and we got food. As we got back to my apartment she started acting rude. And this pissed me off. I told her to f*ck off and leave me alone. 2 minutes later she's calling apologizing. Keep in mind she's the one who truly wanted to end things in the 1st place. I let her in my apt. We talked for about an hr and discussed whats not working. As she was about to leave she looked at me and said you wanna have sex one last time? I grabbed her and we litterally had the best sex we have ever had in the past 2 years. I walked her to her car, gave her a hug and said bye. This is a mindfuck. I dont want things to end. Is this it? Is there any chance you think she may come around and try to make things work? She claims she's lost feelings for me, but she loved me at one point. Talk about a mindfxck. Any chance she still has some sort of feelings feelings?

[extremelybored]

Listen to me. I know there's probably going to be a bunch of idiots trying to tell you the wrong advice. "Just keep talking to her!" "Let her know how you feel!" "Just wait for her to figure herself out" blah blah blah. Don't you find it funny that when you stood up for yourself and walked away she apologized, then you guys had sex? I get the feeling that you have been letting her disrespect you for a while now and she simply doesn't feel attraction to you because of this. So here's what you do. You start getting other women's numbers and take them out rather than wasting your time on this situation. If she does reach out to you keep your cool and treat her as something casual, hangout, have fun and hook-up, you need to remove yourself from the "we might still have a chance!" Mindset and accept the reality of the situation, if she wants to be with you she will have to prove it. In the meantime take other women out and leave this crap on the back burner like she is with you.

[meeso13]

Yes will you discuss what was wrong with the relationship did you cover conclusion of what was wrong? Then you need to fix those areas sit down with her talk to her tell her listen then I understand things have gone South mistakes have been made let's fix it we're going to get the two years we have history there's no reason in the world what we should throw it all away we found the reason to be together in the first place it's worth more it's worth giving it the second chance I see what she has to say

[Hangry22]

She was probably horny and you were just there. I doubt she's gonna come back for a relationship but she might come back for sex

[JPrez]

This girl is all over the map. First she says she doesn’t have the same feelings for you then she calls you back after the argument begging forgiveness. Then she has sex with you. She can’t figure out what she wants. Maybe there is more to the story? I’m gonna guess here and say she has feelings for you and likes you but doesn’t know if you are “the one”. She must be intrigued by the thought of being single again and maybe she has another guy in mind that she would like to pursue but can’t since she is with you. That’s my best guess.

[Asker]

She's definitely all over the place. When i asked her about someone else she denies it and i do believe her. However she's said she feels tied down in a sense. She called me this morning I didn't answer. Don't really know how to handle the situation.

[JPrez]

Gotcha. It does sound like she’s been faithful but she wants to be single and/or pursue someone because she sees her friends doing it. If you want, I’ll give you some ideas going forward but I don’t want to be pushy. Some of it is difficult but should work. Just let me know.

[Asker]

Well I'm all ears

[JPrez]

You bet. First you probably know the decision is gonna be hers whether to stay or go so you can only control you. You gotta get off the emotional roller coaster wondering and asking her to come back. You also want to control the outcome as best you can. This is short term pain but long term gain and will put you in the drivers seat. First cut off all contact and ties on social media. Do not contact her for any reason no matter how how sad or down you feel. Then fill up your calendar doing different things- I used physical fitness and then ghost her. You can even post pictures of other girls or follow other girls to make her jealous if you want.

[JPrez]

While this is going on, she will either do one of two things.

[JPrez]

She will either show up at your place and beg you to take her back or she will move on.

[JPrez]

If she comes back set some ground rules and tell her it’s us together going forward or nothing at all.

[Asker]

What if she contacts me

[JPrez]

If she does not, you will be on the path to healing and moving on already. It will be much easier at that point.

[JPrez]

If she contacts you DO NOT have sex with her. That makes things worse. Tell her you’re moving on unless she cuts the crap and is 100% committed to the relationship and wants a future with you.

[JPrez]

Stand firm. You want to be in control and this puts you in control.

[JPrez]

Realize that while you are moving on, she will be drowning in a pool of emotion and indecision if she truly cares about you.

[Asker]

Thanks man

[JPrez]

No problem. I’m rooting for you bro. Circle back if you need anything else. 👍