Because normally people want to be with somebody who actually gives a fuck about them Gold digger by definition it’s just that somebody who only cares about money and riches more than anything or anyone. Being a Golddigger whether you’re a man or a woman means that your taking advantage of somebody for their money, which means that the premise of love and giving a shit about the person who you’re taking that money from means nothing to you.
Tomorrow directly answer your question yes women and men are like have a right to feel good about themselves and have a right to treat themselves well, but that right has never come by the hard work, blood, sweat and tears of other people.
when I say hard work, blood, sweat, and tears I mean that literally. I know when I work I put that kind of effort in, and have come home with multiple cuts and bruises. So when i get payed I take much appreciation in the money I bring home to my family. Anyone who tries to take advantage of that will be broken by my bare hands. Lover or not.
Someone who’s willing to mess with my livelihood for the sake of their own greed doesn’t deserve any pity from me and will not be provided any.
I’d be careful who one takes money from; because if they find out that one is using them they may very well kill said person. That being said I wouldn’t worry about it to much; because ultimately if one is to care only about riches more than one cares about people then said person has lived a full life so it coming to an abrupt end by somebody that they screwed over shouldn’t really worry said person one way or another.
See it’s all a cat and mouse game until the mouse gets a little bit too greedy, and the cat bites its head off.
Fortunately I will never have to deal with that kind of issue; because the women I go out with understand the value of a hard days work due to the fact that I don’t date women who don’t work.
Nevertheless I hope either answer your question, and if by any chance you are Gold digger good luck you’ll need it one day.
If you’re not however I still wish you good luck, and hope that your life can be filled with real happiness.
I was a gold digger. And one of my good friends was a gold digger. Let’s be real. It is really fun to have money. It is fun to take vacations all the time all around the world. In my case and my friends case the relationships were really great too for the most part. But there are several things in common that both me and my friend had. — First off we are both no longer in those relationships. In both of our cases he found someone else a little newer — a little younger etc. —Second and perhaps most importantly you don’t get to make the decisions. When he controls the money he calls the shots. In my case it was fine for a while. The same goes for my friend. — Third: it does go to your head. You become apart of the wealthy lifestyle and you very much get used to getting whatever you want. Dare I say you become a bit of a bitch from it. — Last but not least is the let down. When he leaves you (most likely he will) you loose everything. You instantly go back to where you started. In my case he was generous and gave me some money. But not enough to continue the lifestyle by any means. In my girl friends case she went from being an entitled bitch to being a nobody overnight with her breakup. He didn’t leave her anything and to this day she’s pretty bitter about it.
Life is this way. I loved my experience. And I’d do it over again. But just be aware that it doesn’t last and you will eventually get your heart and your ego broken.
The main issue is the exploitative part of gold digging, where women pretend to like a guy genuinely but they are simply after his money and then they dump him as soon as he goes bankrupt. And also the part where women try to manipulate men into spending unnecessary amount of money on them.
You may want to think, that guys are always wanting to be with women because if their good looks or just for the sex, then why the double standard against women for liking men for their money? The thing is, if a man goes after a woman solely for her looks and then dumps her or cheats on her when she starts looking worse because of her age or having a baby or maybe even some illness, it is heavily looked down upon.
That doesn't mean that you can't pursue rich men, if you want that then go ahead. But if you really want a man for his money then for the love of God don't play with his heart. Go for a sugar daddy or something like that, instead of deceiving men who want genuine love.
I'm not saying that genuine love can't exist in a relationship where the person initially took interest because of a superficial thing. It is very possible to want a man for material stuff AND loving him at the same time, just how men can also approach a woman just for her looks but eventually grow to love the whole person.
So go ahead and pursue rich men if you like, but be honest with what you want and you may want to consider that often such relationships can be transactional and thus you have to do certain things on your part.
Good luck going through menopause when you went from semi beautiful to horrific. And I really mean being cute to a train wreck literally over night. You will hope and pray that all the games you played with the lowly men that made a mere 40, 60, 70, 80 thousand dollars a year with a great home and toys, ,, that the wealthy guy tosses you out on your ass. You went from everything to nothing! Broke and lifeless with a guys good prenuptial because he knew what you were depite his wealth was a good guy. Gold diggers better have good genes because inside a year you will go from a sexy 45 looking like 65. Good luck. Spoken from a sure truth.
Its not the problem with the woman. The problem is with the stupid guy. Wasting his money. Especially when he has some kids to raise. He go instead and buy designer clothes for some teen age girl. And later she leaves him and he start to bitch and moan about how all women are whores. Also these women give girls bad rep. Of being only good for sex instead of proving we are creative hard working people. Also some of these girls come back years later to accuse the guy of sexual misconduct. Like weinsten, epstein, and Marilyn Manson
It's more of the intention. Nothing wrong with a rich wife married to a rich husband, but the idea that you are only doing it for the money. While the other person is seeking something more than just money. I'm sure he gets lots of girl that just want him for his money and he picks you hoping it's different and nope still the same thing. How would you feel if the people in your life were only around you to leech off your life? In a sense it's taking advantage of someone, I get that there is no sympathy since you are not the one getting hurt.
I would say nothing. Not that I’ve personally been a gold digger. I’m into platinum and making my own money. There are some men that like gold diggers because they don’t know how else to spend their money. They like to make women happy. The sugar daddy variety parcels out an allowance just for a woman to spend their tax write offs. The downside of being a gold digger, running into sickos. There are some really sick and disturbed narcissistic people. That purposely look for women that are or they perceive as gold diggers just to feel like they own or control a person because they have money.
I dont care if a man or a woman want to live off of another person as long the other person is happy to be in such relationship. Usually a cougar or an old man wanting the body and youth of a young person.
Both are users just in different ways. So why should I be bothered. I think many people get jealous and bitter. I personally go on with my life and work.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
What's wrong with being independent? How about getting a job and paying your own bills? Lazy women go around sleeping with different guys for money and now guys think every woman is a good digger. Gold diggers are lazy asses. They want to make money by sleeping with some guys... That's not a good definition for a woman.
If you can tell the person who happens to be your target as a gold digger straight up:"hey I'm just here for your money because I don't see anything wrong with wanting a better life for myself" - and he accepts what you're saying then yea there is nothing wrong with it - otherwise you're being manipulative and you know that it's wrong - I'd like to add that if you have a job and you're looking for a guy to give you all his money then welcome to the most common type of hypocrites group - Taking men's jobs then asking for men who have more money now you're thinkin...
There is nothing wrong in being a gold digger. As long as both parties are aware of it and okay with it. There are consequences that both should accept and not whine about it later.
Being a man I would suggest my fellow men to never look for love in a gold digger. Her love is on your wealth and never expect her to love you some day for a change. It's a give and take relationship. So you extract what you were looking for and save your love for some other good quality woman.
For men who give deeper meaning to life, i would ask them to contemplate about the difference between a "wife" and "permanent prostitute". Be clear about your needs and priorities. A woman who can sleep with a man for clothes, jewellery and good food would never have the qualities to be a supportive partner, at least not in this life. It would take her years of undoing and huge effort, which is impossible and also not "profitable" for her.
Because it's immoral to toy with someone's feelings? Like if a poor person or even a woman is taken advantage of everyone rallies to throw stones at whoever did it but when the target is a rich guy, probably a bit older as well then it's fine to manipulate him? That's some double standard bullshit. And these rich people are surrounded by shameless gold diggers that eventually tbey give in. They let a girl in even though she's in for the expesive gifts and lifestyle but they had no ofher choice since they are not likely to find someone who wants them for their person when their person has to compete with an 8 figure bank account.
I have an 81-year-old friend whose girlfriend is a gold digger. She is 45-years-old and looks like a model. Each time she sees him, which is once a week, he gives her $300 cash and they go out and eat, and then he buys her clothes. He does this because she is broke and in debt. He believes he is helping her. She wants to marry him. She is a Christian and refuses to have sex until they are married. I asked him what was the most expensive present he gave her and he said it was for breast implants.
The funny thing is that she will only accept cash from him. The reason being is that there are laws that protect the elderly from these types of things. But he gladly gives her the money.
It's like being a pirate. "What's so wrong with being a pirate". You can do it but one of the consequences is that people will view you as being lower level than a street hooker when they find out. Robbing people is wrong. Hell, sleeping in someone's bed and then robbing him is even worse than robbing a stranger on the street.
From an outsider's main issue is not necessarily what you do IN the relationship. It's about when you leave. At that point you show that you have no loyalty/respect/commitment for the other person.
If you made a business deal with the guy you left you're not really a "gold digger" in the negative sense of that word. But not everyone would agree with me on that. I wouldn't think of you as a bad person. I just would never consider you relationship material for me or anybody else who is into real serious relationships.
Read some of my MyTakes on Ladies/relationships. May give you some ideas?
Because if she had everything, she will get bored. Eventually, she will realize that she wasted her life with someone she doesn't love, for some materialistic things... Living with someone that can give you what he can, and knowing that he gave it because of his true feelings, and nothing more is better than anything you can find in this world.
My fiancee gave me a watch for my 23 birthday, and that watch was actually cheap, and my other watches value tens of times the value of this watch... I can say that this cheap watch is the best and most expensive thing I have... Not because of its value, but because of all the meanings that come with it... like how she tried to pick a nice watch to make me happy, and how she imagined my reaction to it. I love my watch, and I love my fiancee.
At least you openly admit that you're a selfish materialistic shallow person who doesn't care about other people's feelings, especially the uglier they are (as if they chose to live such a way.) What's the difference between a trophy wife and a hooker? Honestly I don't see a whole men are expected to pay or put in the extra effort or work always. Woman use sex as a bartering chip like being pleasured is a chore for them. Shit is unfair but obviously those skating on easy street through life won't want to break the status quo.
The problem of being a gold digger, whether it's a guy or a girl is that they're exploiting another person. There's nothing wrong with wanting a luxurious lifestyle and wanting fancy stuff. But you should be aiming to earn that yourself. Using another person to gain it manipulative and shallow. Now in a case where both people in a relationship know one is in it for the sex and the other for money, that's up to them, they're both aware of what's happening and hence consenting to it. But in most cases one partner doesn't know, and thus it's bad.
Serious? People want to be "enslaved" just for money? Hell no, better you make the money yourself and that's the end of the story!
Had plenty of opportunities with some very high status individuals but it's actually quite a turn off when they think they can just buy you with money... no thanks... if you have some self-respect that is!
Besides being a human parasite who contributes nothing positive to a person's life, uses and manipulates another human being for financial gain, and only has her pussy to offer to someone, if even that (something every other woman on Earth also has), nothing! Nothing wrong with being a parasite, at all!
Don't base your success on using someone else's life to make yourself seem successful... Being a gold digger is taking someone else's gold and wearing it as your own thinking your a queen when in reality your just a clever little mutton dresses as lamb so to speak 🙄
It’s how they pretend for me cause some men fall for it. And it’s just not cool to play with people’s emotions like that. Most are very arrogant liike humble yourself, if it wasn’t for your man you wouldn’t be living that life. If she’s upfront and down to Earth I guess it’s not that bad, at least they would both know what’s in it for them and no one will get played.
Any dude complaining here is broke. There's nothing wrong if the woman wants a provider as a hubby for her child and her. There is def a huge flip in 2021, men being feminine. Rare gem men is hard to find. Find Christ you'll never be disappointed.
I don't agree with being a gold digger. I prefer to be able to financially support myself. Now, if I start dating or marry a guy who doing way better than me financially, I still would like to have my own little income. Things happen in life all the time. He could lose his fortune and become broke overnight. I'm not going to leave him over that and at least we would have my income to live off of until he gets his fortune built back up.
There is nothing wrong with that if you tell them straight. Like “look, I’m a gold digger. If you are ok with it, let’s continue”. But if she is hiding that - that’s bad news.
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with choosing to be with someone primarily if not only because they'll support you financially. So long as both parties are completely honest about what they're looking to gain from the relationship, of course.
You’re right- the idea that it’s JUST involving money is the creation of people who are salty af. In reality, some cases of being a ‘gold digger’ involve the woman getting a career out of it (a la playboy bunnies or administrative assistants) but for the mostpart, it’s just women being trafficked.
Because people who aquire material wealth without self-sacrifice, specialised knowledge, or wilful effort are generally looked upon with contempt and dismissal by those who DO. You wouldn't wanna date a freeloading chump who just feeds himself off your success; such men are looked down upon by women as "losers", "manbabies", and "incels". So why should it be any different when a woman feeds off a man's success?
@aliali8 well sure, that particular guy might be fine with such an exchange, but I'm speaking more in terms of how the rest of society is likely to view it. Some guys are happy to exchange money for sex with a hot young girl. But most guys outside of that arrangement will view it as her taking the "easy shortcut" to riches, and they'll probably view the guy as a bit of a chump. Personally I couldn't care less what consenting adults agree to exchange with one another, but it's also kinda naive to just assume all gold diggers are this open anr honest about their intentions. There are "covert" gold diggers too, who lead a guy on and get him emotionally invested whilst syphoning his assets until he has nothing left.
@SomeGuyCalledTom that rarely ever happens. Gold diggers will never date guys who aren't willing to spend. They can easily sniff out if a guy is cheap. Once the man realizes so much of his income is going to his gold digger girlfriend and that she keeps asking him to buy her things all the time, like she is his daughter, he usually WILL KNOW that she is a gold digger. Unless he is extremely stupid. If you have average intelligence, you can usually figure it out eventually. I know this from experience.
But believe it or not, there ARE rich guys out there who have no problem dating gold diggers. But one thing you also need to understand is : MONEY will always he her first love, not you.
She is lying somebody. She is using somebody else to get what she want. She expect other people to work for her. She want to escape from the hard way to get that bether life.
She is 100% like a roabber.
Will you be ok whit somebody who use you for theyr own pleasure and i don't mean only sexual. I mean as well money, life stile, carear but he will never return the favor?
@aliali8 It's ok if both parties know what they get into sex vs money, fine with me. But if its done in way where one is misled someway its horrible. Its where guy can pretend he has the money and turns out he doesn't after they married. Now they just in dept.
@Honesttguy That the same like for the girl. Gold digger vs Gold digger. I have an expresion for your argument in my language, it's like this "do you think it had meet the roaber whit the fool?"
And at the same time complaining about “women’s rights” when you do this bullshit.
But you know what go ahead and be a conceited POS blood sucking oxygen wasting parasite. But your means to get away with that is very fleeting. As you age you will have less and less power to do this. Then one day you will be old and completely powerless and worthless.
already commented the same way agreeing with you. You are exactly perfectly precisely right. Times a million. When she hits menopause with her ugly attitude, she'll be like a grape turning into a raisen praying to God that any man will have her.
@AndriaAlex good looks will fade but a shitty personality won’t.
THANK YOU for calling these dumb bitches out. They are usually deaf to male criticism. But when another female checks them it often hits them where it hurts.
If women want men to accept them as “equal” this bullshit has to stop.
If she wants a better life she can earn it, instead of being a leech. There is no merit in spending other peoples money. If you can't understand the difference between earning your place and being carried around on some one else efforts. You don't understand the basics of a civilization.
A gold digger is a prostitute who sells whole relationships instead of just sex. There is nothing wrong with this, but men generally don't want relationships even if they are free; and people tend to sneer at people trying to sell something almost no one wants.
Because juat straight up using someone is being a dick.
If you're a sugar baby or something, fine, at least make the agreement clear
Anyone who complains about guys cheating, like a certain user on here, onlu to justify gold-digging and blame the guy for not knowing, is just a straight up hypocrite.
I don't actually see much wrong with it if she doesn't deceive the guy and lead him to believe she's interested in him for something else... just like I don't see a guy who straight up tells a girl he just wants to sleep with her.
The problem, I see, is when it involves deception... like a guy pretending to love a girl just to sleep with her.
Let me rephrase the question:. is it wrong to sell your vagina to the highest bidder if it allows you to buy nice things with the pussy money? OR. Is it wrong to be a prostitute if you charge guys a lot of money to fuck you?
3
3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
But it doesn’t break the law Unless she’s not a prostitute It’s a crime
If the agreement is to give him your body in exchange for money, it is prostitution. It is a glorified and more elegant form of proposition, but it is still selling your body to whoever can pay the price.
As somebody whose fought with ya many times, sir, I salute you in being bold and without BS with that statement. You spoke truth with not what people may want to hear, but what they need to. Respect.
Being a gold digger isn't about having a better life it's about using someone for their money, for your own personal gain. It's being with someone simply because they have money. It is inherently wrong.
4
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Absolutely nothing. People are just mad that they can’t land a rich guy too
That's just what a gold digger thinks but it is not true. It is not jealous. It is like a rapist saying the world is jealous of them because they can't rape others. Or a liar saying the world can't lie that is why they are jealous. Or a robber laughing at the society that the society is just jealous that is why it wants to catch him or her
She wants A better life but isn't the one working to make it better. Giving out pussy for money is not bettering your life. Work hard and let him do his thang as well. Then combine salaries and make a better life together
Nothing is wrong with it, as long as you don't lie or commit fraud when you marry a man. There are lots of gold-diggers of both sexes out there. Lots of dudes looking to marry into rich families that can help set them up. A friend of mine from college married a girl whose family owns a chain of auto shops, and he and his wife got a house as a wedding gift.
I'm not saying he did, but he also knew the girl he married came from a family with money. I think he could have chosen a lot of different girls to be with, but he chose carefully, if you know what I mean.
To those saying that it is equivalent with "men desiring beauty": Beauty is inseparable from a person. It is how they look. It's part of them, their outer self. Appreciating someone's beauty actually entails an appreciation of that person. Money is a separate entity, distinct from a person, like car, furniture, etc... Caring only about the resources results in neglecting a person, i. e. the owner.
By admiring their beauty, you are not loving the person for who she is. Would you still be with her if she lost her beauty? NO! Love is self sacrificing. Just because she is very beautiful, it won't mean you will die for her.
Appreciation for one's beauty is just a way of saying entertaining your own dick. Appreciation for one's wealth is really just entertaining your own needs.
@aliali8 Let me address that. 1. A human consists of various elements - that includes: body, consciousness (and you may want to argue about soul, if you are a believer). You can imagine a person as a novel consisting of many volumes. Each tome is substantial for a story to be complete. So for me, appreciating the body is equivalent to appreciation an integral part of of a person. (I do not use the word 'love' here) If you say that you care about someone, it is natural to assume you care both about his/her psyche and body (and spirit). When you are talking to somebody, you look at their body, because there is a person you are addressing after all.
2. By saying that you should not care about looks/body is shallow for me as it means purposfully ignoring an integral part of a person. The body, scent, clothing style, facial expressions, manner of gestures, poise is all connected to body and yet distinguishes a person and are a part of who they are.
I myself was told by my girlfriend that she does not like my looks, and I didn't want to be with her anymore, as for me it was not accepting a important part of me. I would like my body to be beautiful and attractive to my significant other/spouse.
3. If a murderer kills a body, that person becomes dead. Now, if I steal and destroy some object from a person, it usually does not affect that victim in the same way, hence you can see a difference between external object and constitutive one.
4. "Just because she is very beautiful, it won't mean you will die for her." Likewise I might assert that: Just because somebody has great personality it won't mean you will die for him/her.
5. You might argue that beauty is ephemeral. Yes, but it does not render it worthless. Let yourself ponder about this: there might be an end to our civilisation, planet, world, but should we reject because of it masterpieces of art (sculpture, music, paintings)?
6. "Would you still be with her if she lost her beauty?" Keep in mind that personality isn't lasting as well. People change, and not always for better. They might also acquire mental illnesses. For example a soldier back from war might be a totally different person, because of what he experienced. A mirrored question arrises "Would you still be with him/her if her/his original personality fall apart?". The answer to both question is: If someone truly loved him/her then yes.
7. Appreciation for one's beauty does not necessarily comes down sexuality.
8. Men desire beauty, but usually love a person as a whole. Gold diggers are, by definition, a people who only care about something external - resources.
9. Please note that beauty is mostly given free at birth. Yes, you need to maintain it, but external resources as money usually require a great amount of hard work. Moreover a beauty is not a 'consumable' good. On the other hand you have gold diggers, who wish to use up the resources. Thus being a gold digger is for me immoral.
"8. Men desire beauty, but usually love a person as a whole. Gold diggers are, by definition, a people who only care about something external - resources."
Beauty is not going to make you fall in love with someone. Just because she is beautiful, it does not mean that you will care for her. SO YES, THIS IS SHALLOW AND SELFISH. This is no different from marrying for money.
Marrying for beauty is called marrying for sex. Would you find a 20 yr old or a 40 yr old more sexually attractive? would you be more turned on by a pretty woman or an average looking woman?
Once her beauty is gone, she will be worthless. You will dump her for another beautiufl woman. This itself does not show you value your wife. You only value what you see. You just like to entertain your eyes. So yes, this is selfish.
Marrying for money is also SELFISH. So i don't know why you think men who marry for sex are better than gold diggers in any way shape or form. Both are indecent people.
@aliali8 You seem not to read my reply thoroughly. In points 1-2 i addressed, why ignoring looks is actually shallow according to me. "Beauty is not going to make you fall in love with someone." - yes it actually leads to falling in love. "Once her beauty is gone, she will be worthless." - In points 4-7 I explained that not, she will not be worthless. Remember, personality is also not lasting, the same as looks. "You only value what you see." - Why "only"? Of course I have eyes and find aesthetic to be an important factor, since we are totally immersed in the visible world and it greatly affect us. People usually value either beauty or ugliness (see turpism). I could say that "You only value what you can't see", what about the rest, you ignore it, neglect it? What about people who enjoy paintings, are they shallow? "Marrying for money is also SELFISH", yes it is. Marrying _only_ for sex is also indecent. "why you think men who marry for sex are better than gold diggers" - I explained this in 9.
As I wrote before, I had a girlfriend who did not find my body attractive and I was sad. We parted, because I did not feel all right with that. I would very much like to be attractive to my significant other.
" "Beauty is not going to make you fall in love with someone." - yes it actually leads to falling in love. "
It does not lead to love. Because dumping her once she loses her looks, is not a sign of love. You only love the way she looked, not her as a person. I dont know how you wouldn't understand the difference.
"Once her beauty is gone, she will be worthless." - In points 4-7 I explained that not, she will not be worthless. Remember, personality is also not lasting, the same as looks. "
Personality is much much more likely to be long lasting than looks. If it were true that personality gets worse with age, just like looks. There would be no married couples over the age of 40. Personality tends to stay the same FOR THE MOST PART, after you hit a certain age.
"You only value what you see." - Why "only"? Of course I have eyes and find aesthetic to be an important factor, since we are totally immersed in the visible world and it greatly affect us. People usually value either beauty or ugliness (see turpism)."
You can be immersed in physical beauty. But you cannot think it is everything. Because you're confusing lust with love. Lust is not love. And its quite common for people to confuse both of them.
" I could say that "You only value what you can't see", what about the rest, you ignore it, neglect it? What about people who enjoy paintings, are they shallow?"
Your wife is not a painting. Your wife is a human being that you can't just discard once she loses her looks. When you enter in to a marriage, you need to love her for more than her face. You need to love her for who she is, which is personality and how she makes you feel.
Sometimes you feel so happy around someone but they might not necessarily be the hottest person on earth. But somehow they just give you such a fun time that you know you will enjoy forever. Someone with amazing qualities that you admire so much in awe. This is what causes people to FALL IN LOVE. Then you will be so addicted to him or her that you will do anything for them. You admire them so much that you will die for them.
You will not experience such emotions if you married just painting. Sure paintings are fun to look at, but you won't die for one, would you?
@aliali8 ehh... you are focusing only on a one or two sentences of my answers... I can't agree with you on certain assertions. Please explain to me then: 1) Why you think body fails to be an integral part of a person? The body, scent, clothing style, facial expressions, manner of gestures, poise is all connected to body and yet distinguishes a person and are a part of who they are. 2) "how she makes you feel" -> why you think her looks might not make me feel emotions? 3) why you do not acknowledge a personality is a passing quality as looks? 4) why I was felt sad when my girlfriend said my body is not attractive to her? 5) "you will enjoy forever" - why you fail to acknowledge a person and personality and looks passes in time. 6) "amazing qualities that you admire" - why can't I admire her beauty?
Once more just because somebody focuses on personality won't mean that they will die for him/her.
1) Why you think body fails to be an integral part of a person? The body, scent, clothing style, facial expressions, manner of gestures, poise is all connected to body and yet distinguishes a person and are a part of who they are.
Sure, it distinguishes someone for who they are. Attractive faces are good to look at. But they should not be the sole determining factor as to whether or not someone is the right fit to be your wife. Because you're stuck with your wife forever. You need to make sure that you will still enjoy being married to her even after she loses her looks. We all know nobody looks amazing forever. If there is no personality attraction or compatibility, its pretty much guaranteed that your marriage won't last regardless of how amazing she looks.
2) "how she makes you feel" -> why you think her looks might not make me feel emotions?
Its a different emotion. Just because you enjoy staring at someone, it doesn't mean you're having fun. Sure you might be happy to certain extent but its not emotionally fulfilling. Its kinda like you offering me a lot of money to buy a gucci bag or treat me to a really expensive delicious dinner. Sure I will be happy. But its not emotionally fulfilling or enriching as having the "ultimate time of my life" with someone.
3) why you do not acknowledge a personality is a passing quality as looks?
Because personality is what makes you want to die for someone. It is what makes you want to care for someone so much that their needs matter more than yours. You will not feel the same way if you were to just marry a pretty face.
4) why I was felt sad when my girlfriend said my body is not attractive to her?
Well i think anyone would feel sad if they find out they aren't attractive. But I can tell your future marriage won't last because physical looks are so important to you. You can't stay in a relationship with anyone unless she always look good.
5) "you will enjoy forever" - why you fail to acknowledge a person and personality and looks passes in time.
Personality does not pass anywhere as easily as looks do. Most people have the same personality throughout life. If everyone's personality changes, then everyone would be divorcing.
6) "amazing qualities that you admire" - why can't I admire her beauty?
Nobody said you can't admire her beauty. But its just dumb to think that a marriage is sustainable through just beauty. Beauty won't make you care for someone so much that their needs matter more than yours. This is what you call lust, not love
@aliali8 "Personality does not pass anywhere as easily as looks do." It does. Just a few examples from my surroundings: *My great grandfather went to World War 2. When he returned, he was totally different man. *My grandma changed. When she became old she became extremely nervous, she hits other people, scolds them without reason, throws things at them. She was not like this before. * My friend changed very much in the time span of about 4 years. He changed faith, became highly religious. He started talking irrational things like the dinosaurs lived together with humans. He now shuns fantasy and sci-fi books and movies although le liked them before. On the top of it, he became a vegetarian.
"If everyone's personality changes, then everyone would be divorcing". So where here is a true love. My grandpa never left my grandma despite her change. If you love somebody, you should stay even if his/hers personality changes.
"Because personality is what makes you want to die for someone." It is not true because, I would not die for girl because of her personality. I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks (no matter if she is young or old).
Without physical attraction and only personality, you can have only a friendship/platonic love. There is no need to date and marry, because without physical attraction there is no sex, no children. As for love without physical attraction: I love God, my parents, grandparents, I would love my children, etc...
"Well i think anyone would feel sad if they find out they aren't attractive." Yes, because our looks is a part of who we are. She did not accept a part of me, and this was the end of our relationship. And that doesn't mean I am am objectively not attractive. I wasn't attractive for her.
It Works two ways: I would never have a sex with woman that does not find me psychically attractive NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTIVE SHE WOULD BE. Even if she LOVED MY PERSONALITY. For me it would be degrading. She could not be my wife. Sorry, but in such case I prefer to stay alone.
""Because personality is what makes you want to die for someone." It is not true because, I would not die for girl because of her personality. I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks (no matter if she is young or old)."
If physical attraction is so important to you, then you will just dump your wife when she gets old. What makes you think makes old married couples remain happily in love after 40+ years of marriage? PERSONALITY They have fun with each other. Not they have the hottest sex with the hottest girl on the planet.
If you marry a girl mostly based on her beauty, not her personality. Once her beauty goes away as she gets older, you will find it very difficult to stay married to her. If you are deeply in love with a woman, you will stick by her regardless if she looks 20 or 70.
""Because personality is what makes you want to die for someone." It is not true because, I would not die for girl because of her personality. I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife."
Personality is what makes you cannot live without someone. You have so much fun with her that get addicted. She is like a drug that makes you so happy. You want to her with her 24/7. Now you cannot live without her. You admire her so much and she's so precious that you would give up your life for her. Would you do this only for a beautiful painting? No. You can live without a beautiful painting. You will never give up your life for a painting. There is a difference between love and lust.
I was never saying that physical attraction was not needed in a relationship. Physical attraction IS needed. But you're obsessing about it way too much. You do not need to be the hottest girl on earth for physical attraction to happen.
What makes you think that you need to be gorgeous for sex to happen? Most people on earth are not gorgeous. If everyone can't have sex with anyone who is less than gorgeous, then nobody would be having sex. Because we most of us look average. Physical attraction is necessary , as long as they are your type and there is a minimum level of basic physical attractoin. Then sex is totally possible.
So i really don't understand why you're so obsessed with only dating "beautiful people". Maybe you are just shallow?
If you're truly in love, you will think your wife / girlfriend is beautiful regardless of however she looks. My parents are both in their 60s, they have been married for 30 years. My father still thinks my mother is beautiful because he loves her.
@aliali8 "Maybe you are just shallow?" On the contrary! I care for both personality and body, and you care only about personality. That makes me actually less shallow (deeper) then you or at least the same level as you.
"Physical attraction IS needed." Congratulations! You now know why men desire beauty. Because, it is needed.
"You do not need to be the hottest girl on earth for physical attraction to happen. " "Not they have the hottest sex with the hottest girl on the planet. " Where did I say that I need/want the hottest girl? Never! I just said I need a girl that I find beautiful according to my own standards.
"Because we most of us look average." No problem for me. I find most average girl beautiful. I also find beautiful girls that some claim to not be attractive.
"here is a minimum level of basic physical attraction" Why should I go with minimum. If I am to spend the entire life with a women I want to be both happy with her personality and looks. Can I tell her that I completely accept her and love her if that isn't true. Am I supposed to lie or say something like this: "You are not beautiful to me honey, just passable." Would be happy with minimum personality compatibility level?
"married couples remain happily in love after 40+ years of marriage? PERSONALITY" And if that personality changes then what? Divorce? Personality-only-love is not enough. Read (from posts above) how my grandpa remained with my grandma despite her awful personality change. Love is way more than just a sum of personality-love and physical attraction. Yes, personality is one factor. But did you know that elderly people also find other people at same age as them attractive. One lady said to my grandpa that he is handsome, and he is over 80 years old.
i really don't understand why you're so obsessed with only dating "beautiful people" Well, I could say you are obsessed with personality. I focus on looks here because, as you see, there is a witch-hunt on people that say that body is also also important. They claim that neglecting someone's body is good and equals love.
I know I would not be happy if girl only liked my for my personality and nothing more.
P. S. Thank you for links, but I know what lust is.
"Why should I go with minimum. If I am to spend the entire life with a women I want to be both happy with her personality and looks. Can I tell her that I completely accept her and love her if that isn't true. Am I supposed to lie or say something like this: "You are not beautiful to me honey, just passable." Would be happy with minimum personality compatibility level?"
Yes, should why should you go for minimum? Basically if an average looking girl has everything else you want. She makes you laugh, makes you so happy, is compatible with you. You won't marry her because she is just average looking? YES! You are shallow! Are you gonna dump her when a moer beautiful girl comes along?
Because guess what? when you marry a hot girl, those looks are gonna fade.
LOOKS ARE GUARANTEED TO FADE. PERSONALITY HAS A MUCH LESS CHANCE OF FADING. UV RADIATION AGES THE SKIN, WHICH EXISTS AROUND US DAILY IN LIFE. GRAVITY WILL ALWAYS MAKE YOUR BREASTS, PENIS SAG. METABOLISM SLOWS DOWN AS PEOPLE AGE WHICH MEANS MORE CHANCE OF WEIGHT GAIN. AS YOU AGE, YOUR HAIR TURNS WHITE. MEN LOSE MUSCLE MASS. THIS HAPPENS TO EVERYONE.
Personality can change but only to a very slim extent.
IF PERSONALITY FADES AS YOU AGE, JUST AS MUCH AS LOOKS, NOBODY OVER THE AGE OF 40/50+ WOULD BE MARRIED.
"i really don't understand why you're so obsessed with only dating "beautiful people" Well, I could say you are obsessed with personality. I focus on looks here because, as you see, there is a witch-hunt on people that say that body is also also important. They claim that neglecting someone's body is good and equals love."
Because personality is the foundation of a relationsihp. This is an emotional connection between two people. If you have only physical attraction, it will be just LUST. You're just dating for sex. Emotional connection is what makes you deeply in love, not deeply in lust.
A man who is truly in love will think his wife is beautiful even if she is pregnant or if she gains weight or if she gets older.
A man who is in lust or infatuated, will only call his wife beautiful when she is young and hot. When she gets older, he will start complaining and divorcing her because he's not longer physically attracted to her.
By that logic, you're very likely to find yourself divorced in life sometime down the road. Because nobody looks young forever. If you cannot love your wife for who she is, you will not remain married. This is why I stress the importance of falling for her personality
I never said that physical attraction was unnecessary. But for me, I find that I can have sex with the average guy without a problem. I do not obsess over beauty or have extremely high standards for a man. Of course I'm not gonna go for a man who is ugly or someone that I do not like to look at. But why would you reject an average looking person just because they aren't hot? why put so much scrutiny on looks? Do you think looks will sustain a marriage? NO
And I know that once I fall in love with their personality, I will always want to be with them regardless of how they look. Because I always want to experience this intense happiness that I get whenever I'm around them. Now this is the reason why people stay HAPPILY married even when they get old and ugly.
@aliali8 I have been writing a lot of text recently but you seem to be very superficial at reading it.
"You won't marry her because she is just average looking?" a) Because I do not want to lie to her that she is the greatest to me and tell her that I love her If I do not feel so. b) I can have know many women (friends) with good personality and you can't command me to marry them, because I do not love them and coercing me to marry them against my will under the threat that you call me shallow is absurd and immoral. c) I am not going to sacrifice my life for someone I do not feel is the one.
"I do not obsess over beauty or have extremely high standards." I also do not care for world's high standards. I need to feel that she is beautiful for me. That she is the one. She might be either pretty, average or even seem ugly to you. I do not care. I need to appreciate her looks. I and not you, not some judges, other men, women, not any world's standards.
"I'm not gonna go for a man who is ugly or someone that I do not like to look at." but you recommend this to me and others. And according to your theory that only personality matters you are shallow then.
On the other hand I keep telling you since first post that whole person is important, not only looks, not only personality but whole. You also fail to see beauty in older people and that they can enjoy their appearance despite their white hair.
You are obsessing over looks. Otherwise, why would you keep talking about beauty as if it is one of the biggest reasons that you dating someone? Average looking people are not considered "beautiful" or "gorgeous" or "ooh my godd, your face is so full of beauty". Do you realize how many times you have mentioned "beauty" in your comments? A LOT.
For me, I do not need someone beautiful in order to have sex with them. But it has to be someone who is physically my type. When I date, I date because I enjoy hanging out with them, not because I genuinely enjoy fucking them. This is the difference between love and lust.
Its funny how you compare fading looks to personality. Guess what? Looks always will fade. UV radiation wears on our skin. Gravity wears on our bodies, metabolism slows, hair starts going white, you might your sexual performance deteriorating get older. This happens to everyone. One day you will realize that you also no longer look sexy or hot.
Sure, personality can also change but its UNCOMMON. Overwhelming majority of people tend to have the same personality for life.
IF PERSONALITY GETS WORSE AS YOU GET OLDER, THEN NOBODY OVER THE AGE OF 40/50+ WOULD BE STILL BE MARRIED.
When you "romantically like" someone, you like them because of their personality. Thats why you always want to hangout with them since they are so fun. You admire so many things about them. This is why old couples remain HAPPILY married even until old age.
If you're shallow, then admit it. Some people are born shallow. there's no rule that you can't be shallow. Accept who you are. But only consequence is, marriage may not be for you if looks are so important. Looks will definitely always disappear one day. You don't want to find yourself divorced by 50
""I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.""
When couples are in love, they will want to stick together for the rest of their lives regardless if they turn are old and ugly, sick or healthy , rich or poor.
Wedding vows do not say: "I will only remain married to you as long as I am physically attracted to you" or "I will only stay married to you if you're rich" This is not called love. Its called selfishness and shallowness. It is an indication you do not truly love the person you are with
"Average looking people are not considered "beautiful"" Who are you to tell me what do I enjoy looking at. Some people even find ugliness appealing (see turpism movement in arts).
"Are you gonna dump her when a moer beautiful girl comes along? " Are you going gonna dump husband when man with better personality comes along?, Huh?
"IF PERSONALITY GETS WORSE AS YOU GET OLDER, THEN NOBODY OVER THE AGE OF 40/50+ WOULD BE STILL BE MARRIED. " BECAUSE LOVE IS MUCH MORE THAN LOOKS AND PERSONALITY. AND WHAT IS WORST YOU ASSUME OLD PEOPLE ARE UGLY!
"If you're shallow, then admit it." I care for whole person (personality, looks and more) and you only about personality, ergo you are much shallower. I appreciate much more than you in a human being.
What about your shallowness: "I'm not gonna go for a man who is ugly or someone that I do not like to look at." I could argue that if you are not shallow then you should marry someone ugly.
I was never obsessed over personality. I kept talking about personality to you over and over again because you're not accepting how personality IS MORE IMPORTANT than looks. Personality is the main ingredient that causes you to fall in love. When you mainly like her for her looks, its called LUST. You can't fall in love with someone simply due to their looks. You wouldn't put someone else's needs over your own, simply because she's nice to look at.
["Average looking people are not considered "beautiful""
Who are you to tell me what do I enjoy looking at. Some people even find ugliness appealing (see turpism movement in arts).]
So why don't you find ugliness appealing? I never told you who to look at either. Like I said, if you are shallow. Then just admit it. You don't be a shallow man on here and then pretend that you are not.
["Are you gonna dump her when a moer beautiful girl comes along? " Are you going gonna dump husband when man with better personality comes along?, Huh?]
hun I can't live without my husband. he's the only thing that keeps me so happy in life. When you're in love, you're so addicted to the person that you are with. That you will have absolutely no need to go out and look for someone else. There is no one better than my husband because I already can't live without him. Sure, there may be richer, more handsome guys out there. But would I trade my husband for them? HELL NO! They can't make me happy. They might make my eyes happy but not my brain.
It doesn't have to be sexual. Because you're just using her to entertain your eyes, not your heart. But when it comes to giving up your life for her, you will refuse.
["IF PERSONALITY GETS WORSE AS YOU GET OLDER, THEN NOBODY OVER THE AGE OF 40/50+ WOULD BE STILL BE MARRIED. " BECAUSE LOVE IS MUCH MORE THAN LOOKS AND PERSONALITY. AND WHAT IS WORST YOU ASSUME OLD PEOPLE ARE UGLY!]
What else do you have other than character, personality and looks? For you, the most important thing are looks, which is lust not love. And the most hilarious thing is, you won't admit that you are shallow. In your mind, you believe that true love has the most to do with looks. I can definitely tell you have never been in love. Because a man in love will think his wife is beautiful even after gaining 20 pounds after childbirth. My parents are both 63. They have been married for 31 years. My mom looks like crap but my father still calls her beautiufl. Now this is REAL LOVE.
Physical attraction is a necessary ingredient to a relationship. But I think you're overblowing it. And trust me, people who need a very high level of physical attraction in order for a relationship to work out, do not tend to stay married for long. Because once her looks disappears, you will be cheating with a hotter lady.
["If you're shallow, then admit it." I care for whole person (personality, looks and more) and you only about personality, ergo you are much shallower. I appreciate much more than you in a human being.]
You appreciate looks more than people as a human being. This is why you said you can't understand why personality is more important than looks when it comes to falling in love.
[What about your shallowness: "I'm not gonna go for a man who is ugly or someone that I do not like to look at." I could argue that if you are not shallow then you should marry someone ugly.]
Well physical attraction is needed in a relationship. I NEED some sort of physical attraction. But unlike you, I am not obsessed with beauty. I place more emphasis on emotional attraction than physical attraction. For you, physical attraction is more important than emotional attraction. Men like you will dump your wives by 40. Your wife will only fall out of your favor as she ages. Then you will be cheating on her with a hottie. This is what happens when looks are more important than personality.
"One more thing: pretty looks of someone can be enjoyed without a sexual context."
When you marry, you marry the person. You are not marrying the person with makeup or the Person's face.
"One more thing: pretty looks of someone can be enjoyed without a sexual context."
It doesn't matter if its sexual. Because you're just using her to entertain your eyes, not your heart. When it comes to giving up your life for her, you will refuse. Now thats not true love.
@aliali8 "What else do you have" For example: voice, smell, identity.
"They might make my eyes happy but not my brain. " The question was: Are you going gonna dump husband when man with better PERSONALITY comes along? THERE IS NO ANSWER HERE THAT LETS YOU ESCAPE BECAUSE IF YES, than personality is not much safer than looks. AND IF NO then why do you assume I would "dump my wive by 40" for "a hottie" if you would not dump your husband for someone with better personality since personality is so important to you. YOUR THINKING HERE IS INCOHERENT.
"My mom looks like crap but my father still calls her beautiufl. Now this is REAL LOVE." Why you consider this level real? It is not a pinnacle of love. What about if additionaly she got mentally ill thus loosing her personality and looks, and he stayed. This would be even more noble.
"You can't fall in love with someone simply due to their looks." I did not say that good looks is necessary and sufficient to fall in love. But it is necessary. Otherwise you have friendship.
"using her to entertain your eyes, not your heart." Why entertaining your heart is better than entertaining your eyes. I can cherish beauty of my wife. What is wrong with that.
"You wouldn't put someone else's needs over your own, simply because she's nice to look at." WE WENT THROUGH THIS ALREADY: 1) Just because somebody has great personality it won't mean you will die for him/her either. 2) I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks
"So why don't you find ugliness appealing?" *Everyone pursue for they enjoy. Beauty is relative. *As you see I can find elderly people and pregnant good looking, while you find them ugly. *The lady I find pretty might be ugly to you. I know of a men who left his good looking wife for an ugly woman. Everybody were surprised. He said he finds beauty in her ugliness.
"For you, physical attraction is more important than emotional attraction. " This is a lie. You are imputing me things I never said. Quote "me" if you find such sentence.
"if you are shallow. Then just admit it." Why should I? I do not adhere to definition: "An example of shallow is a person who only cares about someone's looks and how much money they have." [yourdictionary]
"They might make my eyes happy but not my brain. " The question was: Are you going gonna dump husband when man with better PERSONALITY comes along? THERE IS NO ANSWER HERE THAT LETS YOU ESCAPE]
YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO READ MY REPLY. I WILL ANSWER IT AGAIN FOR YOU:
hun I can't live without my husband. he's the only thing that keeps me so happy in life. When you're in love, you're so addicted to the person that you are with. That you will have absolutely no need to go out and look for someone else.
There is no one better than my husband because I already can't live without him.
Sure, there may be richer, more handsome guys out there. But would I trade my husband for them? HELL NO! They can't make me happy. They might make my eyes happy but not my brain.
[ BECAUSE IF YES, than personality is not much safer than looks. AND IF NO then why do you assume I would "dump my wive by 40" for "a hottie" if you would not dump your husband for someone with better personality since personality is so important to you. YOUR THINKING HERE IS INCOHERENT.]
PERSONALITY DOES NOT AGE ALONG WITH YOUR LOOKS. ITS ACTUALLY QUITE DIFFICULT FOR PERSONALITY TO CHANGE. PERSONALITY CAN BE EASILY SUSTAINED THROUGHOUT LIFE, LOOKS CANNOT.
SO LET ME ASK YOU THIS:
IF LOVE HAS SO MUCH TO DO WITH PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, WHY DOES MARRIAGE EXIST? BECAUSE EVERYONE GETS OLD AND UGLY AT SOME POINT. SO HOW DO PEOPLE STAY MARRIED FOREVER?
WHAT SUSTAINS MARRIAGE? LOOKS OR EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION?
MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A UNION PEOPLE FORM WHEN THEY WANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.
["My mom looks like crap but my father still calls her beautiufl. Now this is REAL LOVE." Why you consider this level real? It is not a pinnacle of love. What about if additionaly she got mentally ill thus loosing her personality and looks, and he stayed. This would be even more noble.]
SO BASICALLY IF YOUR WIFE WAS 63 , YOU WOULD CALL HER UGLY AND DUMP HER. BECAUSE ONLY A MENTALLY ILL MAN WOULD STAY MARRIED TO HIS WIFE UNTIL SHE IS 63.
[ "You can't fall in love with someone simply due to their looks." I did not say that good looks is necessary and sufficient to fall in love. But it is necessary. Otherwise you have friendship.]
YOU JUST SAID YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PERSONALITY WAS CRUCIAL TO FALLING IN LOVE. THIS MEANS THAT YOU ONLY DATE PEOPLE DUE TO THEIR LOOKS. YOU LIKE TO FALL INTO LUST.
["using her to entertain your eyes, not your heart." Why entertaining your heart is better than entertaining your eyes. I can cherish beauty of my wife. What is wrong with that.]
YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR WIFE’S BEAUTY, NOT HER AS A PERSON. YOU CAN CHERISH HER BEAUTY, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CARE ABOUT HER.
IF YOU AND A RANDOM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WAS IN THE OCEAN, YOU FELL FOR HER BEAUTY RIGHT THEN AND THERE. THERE IS ONLY ONE BOAT THAT CAN SAVE ONE PERSON. WOULD YOU GIVE THE BOAT TO HER? NO, RIGHT?
[2) I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks] .
MY HUSBAND SAID HE WOULD DIE SO THAT I COULD LIVE. WHEN WE WERE ALMOST HIT MY A SPEEDING CAR, HE JUMPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME TO PROTECT ME. HE SAID THIS WHEN WE WERE DATING TOO.
WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A RANDOM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE STREET? WOULD YOU DO THAT TO PROTECT YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL PAINTING?
AND HONESTLY ITS DISTURBING HOW YOU COMPARE A HUMAN BEING TO NOTHING MORE THAN A PAINTING. YOU’RE BASICALLY SAYING THAT A HUMAN BEING IS WORTH NOTHING MORE THAN ITS SURFACE. IS A BOOK WORTH NOTHING MORE THAN ITS COVER?
AND ITS ALSO DISTURBING HOW YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY A HUSBAND WOULD WANT TO GIVE UP HIS LIFE SO THAT HIS WIFE CAN CONTINUE TO LIVE. PLEASE DO NOT BE A HUSBAND UNLESS YOU REALLY CARE FOR SOMEONE. YOU SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO WOULD MARRY JUST FOR SELFISH REASONS.
@aliali8 I have read your diatribe. There are so many faults here:
The thing is you failed to address the elephant in the room: your incoherent logic. Try again: if you care so much for personality and you would not jump your husband for someone with greater personality. Then what makes you think I would dump my wife for a hotter woman. It's exactly the same identical mirrored situation. Why the outcome would be different?
YOU: careForPersonality, marriedToPersonA, metPersonWithBetterPersonality => notDumpHusband. IF ABOVE HOLDS THEN WHY NOT THE FOLLOWING? I: careForLooks, marriedToPersonB, metPersonWithBetterLooks => notDumpWife.
I age distracts you so much, then for for a sake of this thought experiment lets assume everybody in it has exactly 30 years. Do you already see the FAULT in your reasoning?
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"YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR WIFE’S BEAUTY, NOT HER AS A PERSON. YOU CAN CHERISH HER BEAUTY, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CARE ABOUT HER. "
And by using personality it's different? I can say: * YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR HUSBAND'S SENSE OF HUMOUR, NOT HIM AS A PERSON. * YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR HUSBAND'S INTELLIGENCE, NOT HIM AS A PERSON. AND SO ON...
"YOU ONLY DATE PEOPLE DUE TO THEIR LOOKS" ONLY <-- from where did you get that? Read again slowly and understand: I did not say that good looks is necessary and sufficient to fall in love. But it is necessary. Otherwise you have friendship.
"WOULD YOU GIVE THE BOAT TO HER? NO, RIGHT? " HAVING A GREAT PERSONALITY ALSO DOES NOT HELP HERE. Lets say there is a man (I'll name him Tom) there and has quite nice personality. Now go and die for him. Leave your beloved husband, children, your parents, who expect support from you in their old years and sacrifice your life for Tom, just because he has nice personality.
YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY A HUSBAND WOULD WANT TO GIVE UP HIS LIFE SO THAT HIS WIFE CAN CONTINUE TO LIVE. HE JUMPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME TO PROTECT ME. I also said that I would die for a loved person, so how did you came to such conclusion. READ AGAIN AND PROCESS LOGICALLY: I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks.
HE SAID THIS WHEN WE WERE DATING TOO. As romantic as it might sound it's quite rash and thoughtless. I would be more considerate and hold such claims until engagement or maybe event until wedding vows.
DISTURBING HOW YOU COMPARE A HUMAN BEING TO NOTHING MORE I wrote "What about people who enjoy paintings, are they shallow?" and this was a RHETORICAL QUESTION and AN ANALOGY TO PROVOKE YOUR THINKING, NOT A COMPARISON.
BOOK WORTH NOTHING MORE THAN ITS COVER? So now you compare a human to book? How rude! If I had a choice I would prefer an edition of a book that was well published compared to a book with missing pages, errors, lack of painting, unreadable passages, layout problems and cover falling apart. Think about medieval scribes who knew that books should also be lovely looking and the Illuminated manuscripts they did by adding decorations and creating calligraphy masterpieces. In 18th century pupils had to learn calligraphy and it was normal to expect an excellence in both content and form.
I would rather say that personality is content and body beauty is like artistic vibe to it. The rhymes, rhetorical figures (e. x. allegory, hyperbole), choice of words and all that stuff. FOR ME THIS IS BETTER: O Lithuania, my country, thou Art like good health; I never knew till now How precious, till I lost thee. THAN THIS: I didn't knew that my country is great until it was conquered by enemy forces.
"But somehow they just give you such a fun time that you know you will enjoy forever." So using your husband for entertaining your brain is ok? Using him for the sake of your enjoyment is ok? You are just entertaining your own needs. But liking the looks of your husband isn't?
YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR WIFE’S BEAUTY, NOT HER AS A PERSON. I am saying that SHE looks great. Your consciousness and your body IS you. Understand that! You are not a brain in a jar or something. I proof this via reductio ad absurdum. Suppose you as a person are different entity from your body. As a consequence we can get a following fallacy: Every time your husband kisses or hugs your body, he is cheating you with third entity that is your body. The conclusion is that your husband is unloyal cheater. Which is AN ABSURD!!! HAVE MERCY!
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When you love somebody, you want him/her to be happy. If my wife would enjoy the looks of my body, voice or whatever, I would be positively thrilled that she is having joy. More... if someone who I do not know enjoys for example my singing voice, than I am flattered and happy that he found that enjoying.
Your approach is to be closed as possible and waste all that good qualities in you, because of sad fear that someone might use you. That is even worst than being selfish, you let good things waste!
"My mom looks like crap but my father still calls her beautiufl." If you are so sure that he is cherishing her beauty and not her as a person intervene then. Explain to him that he is selfish in that way and evil and to your mom that she should be sad because of what he said.
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"MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A UNION PEOPLE FORM WHEN THEY WANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. " And I want a person that I find sufficiently attractive look wise and personality-wise that I fall in love and want to be with her forever. What is your problem with it?
"WHAT SUSTAINS MARRIAGE? LOOKS OR EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION?" both
"HOW DO PEOPLE STAY MARRIED FOREVER? " They do not. They die. And after that there is no marriage. "till death do us apart". Also not in heaven. If you are believer than read the BIBLE: "neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels".
"EVERYONE GETS OLD AND UGLY AT SOME POINT." True, than they need to relay on other aspects, nice voice, attachment, help, one of the can be personality.
WHY DOES MARRIAGE EXIST? For various reasons from practical through law-based reasons up to social and philosophical. 1) In prehistoric times women got protection and food form husbands, who were mostly hunters, and men got security, that the children they care about is theirs. 2) From a medieval perspective it was somatimes considered as a way of forming alliances between nations or families and as means of passing noble's titles or estates to children. 3) Catholic church for example teaches that: Marriage "is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring" 4) Differs depending on a culture and a religion. There are religions and cultures where one man can have many wifes, and where woman can have many husbands. This model work and are valid for people who use them. 4) Up to XX century marriages were arranged. The concept of dating and marriage for the purpose of romantic love was not really a popular aspect until 20th century.
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"BECAUSE ONLY A MENTALLY ILL MAN" What are you talking about? I wrote that it is also a noble thing if he would stay while her personality would dissolve due to mental illness. Would you stay with your husband if he would became mentally ill? I guess not since you care only for personality?
One more thing: you constantly keep mentioning how it is great for a husband to die for his wife. You also said many times that love needs to be sacrificial. Are you sure you are not enjoying in an unhealthy way? Like a selfish way to validate yourself and that love. I have people I love and I tell you: I never told them I want them to die for me and I hope and pray so that they can live as longest it is possible. If someone of them gave live for me I would be despairing for I would prefer to myself die. If we both survive I would be humbled. And you are boosting around like: He wanted to die for me, so cool, this is real love, etc!!! And what about people who died together of all age and no tragedy happened, their love is fake? I said I could die for loved one, your husband proofed that, what about you? Are you ready to die for your husband? (Because many women in history did, like Ida Straus. When Titanic was sinking in 1912, she decided not to board a lifeboat saying that she could not leave her husband and prefer to die with him. )
"The thing is you failed to address the elephant in the room: your incoherent logic. Try again: if you care so much for personality and you would not jump your husband for someone with greater personality. Then what makes you think I would dump my wife for a hotter woman. It's exactly the same identical mirrored situation. Why the outcome would be different?"
Here is the difference between personality and looks. You can get addicted to personality in a way that you cannot get addicted to looks. When you adore someone's personality, they put you into such an intense happiness that you always feel the need to be around them. When you are attracted to someone's looks, you do not always feel the the intense need to be around them. This is why when you fall for someone's personality, you feel an intense happiness. YOU WON'T FEEL AN INTENSE HAPPINESS DUE TO LUST.
"YOU: careForPersonality, marriedToPersonA, metPersonWithBetterPersonality => notDumpHusband. IF ABOVE HOLDS THEN WHY NOT THE FOLLOWING? I: careForLooks, marriedToPersonB, metPersonWithBetterLooks => notDumpWife.
I age distracts you so much, then for for a sake of this thought experiment lets assume everybody in it has exactly 30 years. Do you already see the FAULT in your reasoning?"
PERSONALITY IS ACTUALLY SUSTAINABLE THORUGHOUT LIFE. I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT PERSONALITY HAS THE SAME CHANCE OF DETERIORATING AS LOOKS.
IF ALL MARRAIGES WERE MORE BASED OFF OF LOOKS, HOW DO YOU THINK PEOPLE STAY MARRIED UNTIL OLD AGE? THIS IS THE QUESTION YOU CANNOT ANSWER.
""YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR WIFE’S BEAUTY, NOT HER AS A PERSON. YOU CAN CHERISH HER BEAUTY, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CARE ABOUT HER. "
And by using personality it's different? I can say: * YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR HUSBAND'S SENSE OF HUMOUR, NOT HIM AS A PERSON. * YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR HUSBAND'S INTELLIGENCE, NOT HIM AS A PERSON. AND SO ON..."
WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY / CHARACTER, YOU CARE FOR THEM. WHEN YOU ADMIRE THEIR CHARACTER AND THINK THEY ARE THE GREATEST THING ON EARTH, YOU WILL THINK THEY DESERVE THE BEST THINGS ON EARTH. AND YOU CANNOT ARE SO ADDICTED TO THEM THAT YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THEM. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM, YOU WILL BE DOOMED. YOUR WORLD IS OVER.
BEING IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND'S SENSE OF HUMOR PUTS ME IN INTENSE HAPPINESS THAT YOU CAN'T GET FROM JUST WATCHING YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND.
SURE, YOUR EYES MIGHT LIKE IT, BUT IT WON'T PUT YOU IN INTENSE HAPPINESS.
[""YOU ONLY DATE PEOPLE DUE TO THEIR LOOKS" ONLY <-- from where did you get that? Read again slowly and understand: I did not say that good looks is necessary and sufficient to fall in love. But it is necessary. Otherwise you have friendship.]
MOST PEOPLE DATE DUE TO AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. THEY DON'T JUST DATE A GIRL SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE IS HOT. BECAUSE YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY PERSONALITY/ EMOTIONAL CONNECTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOOKS, THEN THAT MEANS YOU ONLY DATE DUE TO LUST. AND I CAN TELL YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT TRUE LOVE IS BASED OFF YOUR WORDS.
["WOULD YOU GIVE THE BOAT TO HER? NO, RIGHT? " HAVING A GREAT PERSONALITY ALSO DOES NOT HELP HERE. Lets say there is a man (I'll name him Tom) there and has quite nice personality. Now go and die for him. Leave your beloved husband, children, your parents, who expect support from you in their old years and sacrifice your life for Tom, just because he has nice personality.]
THIS IS PROOF YOU HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN ADDICTED TO SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE. YOU HAVE NEVER ADMIRED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT THEIR NEEDS MATTERS MORE THAN YOURS.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LUST OVER YOUR girlfriend, YOU WILL NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR HER. BECAUSE YOU ONLY SEE HER AS A PAINTING, NOT HER AS A PERSON.
YOU NEED TO RESPECT / ADMIRE SOMEONE AS A PERSON, IN ORDER TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR THEM. SIMPLY GOOD SEX IS NOT GONNA DO IT.
[YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY A HUSBAND WOULD WANT TO GIVE UP HIS LIFE SO THAT HIS WIFE CAN CONTINUE TO LIVE. HE JUMPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME TO PROTECT ME. I also said that I would die for a loved person, so how did you came to such conclusion. READ AGAIN AND PROCESS LOGICALLY: I could die for my wife, but then I need to love her in order for her to be my wife. And I would not declare my love to her if I do not find her looks ok, because it would then be a lie. To love a woman and accept someone fully, I need to accept both her personality and looks.]
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. WHEN YOU LOVE A WOMAN, YOU CARE ABOUT HER SO MUCH THAT HER NEEDS MATTER MORE THAN YOURS. LOVE IS SELF SCARIFICING, ITS ABOUT GIVING.
LOVE IS NOT "I WILL ONLY DATE YOU IF I HAVE SOMETHING TO GAIN FROM YOU SUCH AS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD LOOKS."
LOVE IS: I ADMIRE MY WIFE SO MUCH THAT SHE STILL RADIATES BEAUTY AT OLD AGE.
ANY HUSBAND WHO CALLS HIS WIFE UGLY , AT ANY TIME DURING THE MARRIAGE , DOESN'T LOVE HER. BECAUSE THATS SOMETHING ONLY A MAN WHO DOES NOT ADMIRE HIS WIFE, WOULD SAY.
[HE SAID THIS WHEN WE WERE DATING TOO. As romantic as it might sound it's quite rash and thoughtless. I would be more considerate and hold such claims until engagement or maybe event until wedding vows.]
WELL HE PHYSICALLY JUMPED IN FRONT OF ME AT THE SPEEDING CAR. WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?
[ DISTURBING HOW YOU COMPARE A HUMAN BEING TO NOTHING MORE I wrote "What about people who enjoy paintings, are they shallow?" and this was a RHETORICAL QUESTION and AN ANALOGY TO PROVOKE YOUR THINKING, NOT A COMPARISON.]
YOUR WORDS SHOW LITTLE TO NO CONSIDERATION TO PERSONALITY. YOU SPENT DAYS NEGATING THE IMPORTANCE OF PERSOANITLY. AND TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY PERSONALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT TO "LOVE" THAN LOOKS.
BY YOUR LOGIC, NO MARRIAGE OF YOURS IS GOING TO LAST.
A MAN WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF MARRAIGE, WILL UNDERSTAND LOOKS COME SECOND, NOT FIRST.
[BOOK WORTH NOTHING MORE THAN ITS COVER? So now you compare a human to book? How rude! If I had a choice I would prefer an edition of a book that was well published compared to a book with missing pages, errors, lack of painting, unreadable passages, layout problems and cover falling apart. Think about medieval scribes who knew that books should also be lovely looking and the Illuminated manuscripts they did by adding decorations and creating calligraphy masterpieces. In 18th century pupils had to learn calligraphy and it was normal to expect an excellence in both content and form.]
So you think an ugly person is filled with Layout problems and unreadable passages? A beautiful person can also be filled with grammar errors and missing pages. There are a ton of beautiful people with mental issues, entitlement issues, arrogance, no personality.
What makes you think that just beautiful people are like books free from grammatical errors, missing pages, and layout problems?
A better example would be:
you see your girlfriend as a book cover. Just because your girlfriend has a nice book cover on the outside, it does not mean it is an interesting book to read. For you, a nice cover means more than an amazing story. This is what you call SHALLOW. You are not interested in reading the story, you are more interested in gazing at the cover.
Soon when rainwater falls on the book cover and destroys the cover, you will throw away the book right? Because you cannot see the book cover anymore.
On the other hand, if you love the story the book told, you will hold onto that book and CHERISH it FOREVER. You will not throw it away just because the cover is ruined. This is why husbands do not divorce their wives even until old age.
[Every time your husband kisses or hugs your body, he is cheating you with third entity that is your body. The conclusion is that your husband is unloyal cheater. Which is AN ABSURD!!! HAVE MERCY!]
MY HUSBAND WILL HUG , KISS ME, CALL ME BEAUTIFUL EVEN IF I AM 80 years OLD. HE LOVES MY BODY BECAUSE HE KNOWS ITS PART OF MY ENTITY. AS LONG AS HE KNOWS ITS ME, HE WILL LOVE MY BODY REGARDLESS IF I AM BURNED, DEAD, UGLY, OLD, FAT. UNLIKE YOU, YOU won't EVEN TOUCH YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE TURNS 40.
[One more thing: you constantly keep mentioning how it is great for a husband to die for his wife. You also said many times that love needs to be sacrificial. Are you sure you are not enjoying in an unhealthy way? Like a selfish way to validate yourself and that love. I have people I love and I tell you: I never told them I want them to die for me and I hope and pray so that they can live as longest it is possible. If someone of them gave live for me I would be despairing for I would prefer to myself die. If we both survive I would be humbled. And you are boosting around like: He wanted to die for me, so cool, this is real love, etc!!! And what about people who died together of all age and no tragedy happened, their love is fake? I said I could die for loved one, your husband proofed that, what about you? Are you ready to die for your husband? (Because many women in history did, like Ida Straus. When Titanic was sinking in 1912, she decided not to board a lifeboat saying that she could not leave her husband and prefer to die with him. )]
WHO SAID THAT I WOULD NEVER GIVE UP MY LIFE FOR MY HUSBAND? I THINK ONLY A SELFISH PERSON LIKE YOU WOULD NEVER GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR ANYONE ELSE. IF YOU TRULY LOVED SOMEONE, YOU WILL PUT YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY TO PROTECT THEM. IF YOU DON’T, THEN YOU NEVER REALLY EVER LOVED THEM.
THERE ARE VARYING DEGREES OF LOVE.
THE BEST TEST OF “TRUE LOVE”= HOW FAR WILL YOU GO TO PROTECT SOMEONE?
@aliali8 You know what? I am getting tired of responding to to your texts. You overlook flaws in your logic, repeat around and around your slogans, put words that I haven't said in my mouth, and now there comes a multitude of unwarranted assertions, ungrounded beliefs about me and some emotional chaos. I do not have time for that, I have work and other things to do.
"YOU NEED TO RESPECT / ADMIRE SOMEONE AS A PERSON, IN ORDER TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR THEM. Then you know nothing about sacrifice! Tell this what you just wrote to Maximilian Kolbe, who selflessly gave his own life in nazi concentration camp (1941) to save other prisoner randomly selected by a guards to be starved to death. HE DID NOT KNEW HIS PERSONALITY AND HE SAVED HIM. So you can hide with all that personality requirement crap of yours.
"Emotional connection is what makes you deeply in love" NO!!! Emotion is ephemeral and is NOT to be equated with love and has more to do with infatuation. For centuries it was not seriously considered a need. I was taught that love has more to do with mature, conscious decision that needs to last despite problems with looks, personality crises and others. That is also why you should not really say to another person that you love him/her until the actual wedding vows.
"SIMPLY GOOD SEX IS NOT GONNA DO IT." Of course. I wouldn't want a sex with an unloved stranger, even if they paid me to do it. Not to mention giving up my life for it. I have spent almost 33 year without sex, and I do not need it particularly now either to exists.
"PERSONALITY IS ACTUALLY SUSTAINABLE THORUGHOUT LIFE..." I heard that many times already! Where is your explanation for logic shortage? I wrote: for a sake of this thought experiment lets assume everybody in it has exactly 30 years. If you are unable to repair this mess then 1 victory point for me.
"BEING IN LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND'S SENSE OF HUMOR PUTS ME IN INTENSE HAPPINESS THAT YOU CAN'T GET FROM JUST WATCHING YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND." So you are using your husbands sense of humour in a way that gets you more enjoyment than I get from "using beauty of a my wife"... Yes... Cool... Congratulations... I guess? And I might again mirror you with YOU’RE CHERISHING YOUR HUSBAND'S SENSE OF HUMOUR, NOT HIM AS A PERSON here.
"LOVE IS: I ADMIRE MY WIFE SO MUCH THAT SHE STILL RADIATES BEAUTY AT OLD AGE." 1) Admire what? Be specific. SENSE OF HUMOUR? LOOKS? INTELLIGENCE? Because then he cherishes these things and not her as a person, ergo he doesn't love her! BE CONSISTENT. 2) For what purpose would he do such a thing. If beauty, according to you, is so connected with lust and is irrelevant than isn't that kind of anti-love thing to do? And it would give him an opportunity to lust over wife's looks even at old age, which is evil according to you. And evil is not love so this STATEMENT IS FALSE by a virtue of your own thought process.
"CALLS HIS WIFE UGLY [...] THATS SOMETHING ONLY A MAN WHO DOES NOT ADMIRE HIS WIFE, WOULD SAY." Are you sure? You said that cherishing beauty is not carrying for a person, so of course: if he truly cares for her, he would never be such a lustful monster to appreciate her beauty, which means: he cannot express that she is beautiful, un-ugly and so on, unless he dose't truly enjoy her beauty and just tell lies which is immoral. AND WIFE OR HUSBAND NEED NOT BE UNCONDITIONALLY ADMIRED. Because then it is VAIN. If my wife commits murder I will not admire her for that. Sorry. THEY HAVE TO POSSES ATTRIBUTES THAT ARE WORTHY OF ADMIRATION.
"WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?" What are you talking about? I need no any proof here. Have you read what I wrote? I am non even a native English speaker and it seems I can understand sentences better than you.
"YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY PERSONALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT TO "LOVE" THAN LOOKS. " Where did I say that. I said cannot understand why you neglect and diminish other human traits than personality and your way overblown personality issue. And nowhere did I say that looks is the most important. I am unhappy that you vilify it though.
"WHEN YOU ADMIRE THEIR CHARACTER..." And if I admire her voice then what? Is it evil as looks? Good as personality? Or you do not know?
"BY YOUR LOGIC, NO MARRIAGE OF YOURS IS GOING TO LAST. " YOU won't EVEN TOUCH YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE TURNS 40. Here goes bunch of unsubstantiated assumptions... let reality verify it. (And by the way. people can look good even in their 70's.)
"A beautiful person can also be filled with grammar errors and missing pages." Since we obviously discus a model in which the author's text equates to personality, and its physical book form to body and looks NO, IT CAN NOT BY ANY MEANS!!!
"What makes you think that just beautiful people are like books free from grammatical errors, missing pages, and layout problems?" Very simple reason: this are the formulae that this model satisfies. What makes you think pregnant woman and people in 40s are ugly?
"beautiful people with mental issues." You really dislike these poor mentally ill people. They have problems with personality, so instead of helping them or love them, you just keep pretending they do not exist. Tell me finally what will happen if your husband would get mentally ill or his mental qualities decline with age? Do you know people with mental problems can get aggressive towards family? Will you dump him, because your precious personality would disappear? Or stay with him and help him?
"A better example would be:" I knew that it was not an adequate model, so I told you what I had in mind (content and poesy). You yet stayed with something I do not agree with and got some statements out of it that I supposedly agree to. Bravo!
"MY HUSBAND WILL HUG , KISS ME, CALL ME BEAUTIFUL" Given your approach that is bad for you because (as you said it earlier) appreciating beauty is a clear sign of lust. By saying you are beautiful he "only love[s] the way [you] look, not [you] as a person." And you are ok with it? Admit it is not alright or change your philosophy!
"HE WILL LOVE MY BODY” … and body is not personality so: it is "not [you] as a person”, and that, according to you, is lust -> You are suddenly ok with lust? And you think I would supposedly not love my wife’s body and not take care of it and protect it, just because I admire wife's beauty. YOU ARE TERRIBLY WRONG HERE!
"HE KNOWS ITS PART OF MY ENTITY" Of course he knows. In fact this is a common knowledge. The question is: do YOU acknowledge it? Because when I said that I would find women's beauty astonishing, which is an attribute of her (her body), then you said that it isn't her as a person. So decide already - is your body and its attributes are a part of you or not. The fact that you have problem with this is quite peculiar. I think Sigmund Freud would have many things to say about it.
THE BEST TEST OF “TRUE LOVE”= HOW FAR WILL YOU GO TO PROTECT SOMEONE? I told you already many times I will die for the loved ones. So I passed your test of true love with flying colours. Care to beat me in it? Offer more. Of course it is YOUR golden standard of "true love (tm)" and not any universal standard by any means.
1) You said: "LOVE IS NOT "I WILL ONLY DATE YOU IF I HAVE SOMETHING TO GAIN FROM” A 19th century, a samurai woman Nakazawo Koto decided she would only marry a man stronger than her. Was she shallow? No, she just knew what she wants to admire in men to fall in love, so dating a weak man would probably just lead her to unhappy marriage or be a waste of time. People have expectations e. x.: liking the same music, similar political views, because they want a happy, STABLE, fulfilling marriage and they know what makes them fall in love. Example. Why I should be with someone who hates classical (BOTH UNHAPPY) music if I can be with someone who enjoys it together with me (BOTH HAPPY). >>>If I want to have many children and a girl wants none, then I would not date her, not because I want to gain children, but because I know we can not fully accept each other, and emotional connection is not stable and is not love.
2) You said: "LOVE IS NOT "I WILL ONLY DATE YOU IF I HAVE SOMETHING TO GAIN FROM" Also you: "I'm not gonna go for a man who is ugly or someone that I do not like to look at." (GAIN) Also you: "I date because I enjoy hanging out with them" (ALSO A GAIN) You FAILED to adhere to your own standards. I am guessing that you might feel guilty deep inside and hate yourself for this that you can’t go for an ugly man. If yes, then I can assure you this is normal and natural behaviour.
I think your anger might be that you either are not secure about your own value OR be a person that abnegates elegance, fine arts, good taste, excellence and aesthetics, OR what you are trying to accomplish here adheres to Spirituality=good, Physicality=Evil idea, which has its roots deep in from Plato's philosophy that there is an eternal, immutable world of ideas, and reality where everything is just an imperfect copy of one idea.
The aforementioned Plato philosophy was later adopted in one branch of a church as it was fitting that body is sinful and corrupt, while soul pure. The result of this branch was obvious: Sex should be used only for procreation and that is all, as anything above that is lust and sin. You want child/children, then perform one sex with spouse and never ever again. There are people today that think that dancing and going to the beach, swimming in the mixed-gender pool is lustful and evil. Some say that marriage should transform after connecting babies into so called Marriage blanc, that is white (sexless) marriage.
there's nothing wrong with goldiging many men just dont want woman to love them for purely the sake of money, its same how a woman would not want a man to love her just because he has an fat ass. imagine that ass gone oneday than he might resort to cheating same with a woman. humans in general dont like it i guess for obv reasons and its shallow
Your thinking of a sugarbaby/sugardaddy relationship, gold digging is scamming bvb a person via manipulation until they have nothing left then dropping the person like an empty wallet to find someone else to scam
@dragoblack its not about that and i can assure you that many woman would want a man to provide for her. just ask any woman for longterm they would chose provider man cause its signal of masculinity, and her vulnerable aka feminine. the thing is many woman dont trust provider man cause it puts her in a vulnerable and dangerous position of financially being dependent and he can turn in to a wolf anytime and start abusing her so many woman nowadays resort to finding ''dream jobs'' or ''strong independent women'' type bullsh*t.
If you want a better life. Work for if. Is what ifs about.
If your fucking some rich guy for his lifestyle and claiming you did this you leveld up in your own etc evt guess what. It's a fine line between a gold digger and a whore. A thin thin line.
You use someone for their wealth. Even if the sugar daddy, or whatever they call it is ok with it, it’s still messed up. You’re a guy or girl? You want something? Go out and their earn it. A gold digger is just as bad as a man who inherits wealth from his parents. Both belong in the trash. End of story.
No guy will like you. Except he just wants to use you for a quick number. Guys don't like golddiggers because they are like whores: they are only with you because want your money, the guy is her walking wallet and like an object to her, her feelings are superficial
Nothing at all. Any man associating with such a female must be fully aware of her greed and finds it an acceptable trade-off for the sex. If he doesn't, well somebody has to play the part of the fool who is soon parted from his money.
Because long term prostitution has a long history of ruining relationships, men, families, and weakening society itself while doing nothing to add to the some of any of those.
Being a sugarbaby is fine, because it is a consensual sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship. gold diggers get stuff my manipulating and scamming people till they are bankrupt, then drop that person like an empty wallet to go scam someone else to drain them financially.
Nothing. Men literally just use/bang women for their bodies, and the women usually doesn't get anything from it. Now, I'm personally not a gold digger, but I can see why women do it.
Everything. Aren't you women supposedly emotional and sensitive creatures? Well that contradicts being with someone for monetary incentives. It's insensitive. But of course there is nothing wrong with it in the eyes of those who think men only want them for sex, which is a toxic way of life
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Because she is not doing it honesty through skill. And trust me on this sweetheart, looks are fleeting. If the only thing you can do is get by on looks, leeching off of other men, then once you hit that wall you become a useless, skill-less worthless drain on society.
It's about time some stands up for. Thats. And that's what i say to in the first 5 min of meeting some one they tell my part of there life off a guy can't read that then don't know what to tell u
Nothing, if you're honest about it. It's the female equivalent of a male saying he's only interested in women for sex. If he's upfront about it, and makes it clear that's his intention, then nobody's surprised and hurt about it. Right?
Better life by preying on someone else's money lol. Playing with his fellings, to get successful. What's wrong in that? Like everything. Who wants to get used like that, it's fucking disgusting and should never be normalised.
Because she doesn't want to put effort in having a standard relationship like everyone else, she's mostly or only in it for the money and doesn't care about the guy or love him. Her only interest is the money , do you think that sounds good?
How could u just simple that question? If those" beautiful women" want to have a better life, they should have it from their fucking money not by other men's money. And I have seen many gold diggers. They are just awful rude women who just want ur money. It is sad though that men agree to them if they are beautiful
A lady who is a gold digger doesn't want the man/emotional bagged of having a partner, all she wants is to have a easy life but instead of earning it would rather leech off of someone else
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If it happens based on the consent of the two of them, then I won’t have problem with it. Usually broke men bitch about this because the chance for them to get free sex is lower when sugar daddies exist.
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