Fist it’s a double standard, Have you ever heard a man being described as a ‘hottie-digger’? No. Seemingly, it’s acceptable for men to value women for their looks. Men want beautiful women – or as beautiful as they can get. Yet, when women value men for their financial soundness, we’re described as gold-diggers. I think that is completely unfair. What’s good for the goose should be good for the gander, and if men are allowed to value something as shallow as the size of our butts, then we should be allowed to value something as shallow as the size of their bank accounts.
We have a word for men who value women for only their looks. We call them shallow. And no one wants a shallow guy.
A relationship is more than money and looks. If you're a shallow man then you are valuing a woman for only her looks, which means that without her appearance she is nothing to you, which is extremely disrespectful to a person. Same way dear, you don't love men, you just love their money and God forbid if anything bad ever happens and they get broke you won't be there to provide them support that they need, you will simply leave them. And that is unfair to men.
We all deserve a partner that sticks with us for the rest of our lives. I'm gonna sleep with my man under one roof for the rest of my life and it can't be someone that I know will leave me when I don't look as pretty anymore or his personal preference change. Plus, my future kids deserve a better father, and so do they deserve a mother who can be better than just a gold digger. Kids deserve being raised in a healthy dynamic family, and not a fragile structure that can break from something like unemployment or weight gain.
Does it mean that one can't value things like good looks and wealth? Of course not, we all value then and desire them, but there problem arises when it's a priority over some more important things in life. One who doesn't understand the importance of things other than looks and money aren't qualified for a relationship. Looks and money are very temporary, you can lose them in a split second.
But hey, you never even been in a relationship, you have been dating ATM booths by the name of relationship that doesn't count to me, so I guess no use of telling you all this. 🤷
As a woman it’s just as degrading to know men only like you for you looks and really could care less about the type of woman you are. I’m a pretty shitty woman I won’t sit up here and lie but I’ve seen men stick to me like some glue and I know it’s because I’m I guess pretty and now that I’m older I know I have a pretty big butt. I feel like I would have more to offer than my looks and body but guys typically don’t actually care they’ll stick around regardless of how you treat them or what you say. Men are shallow for the most part I rarely meet guys who actually get to know me on a personal level and who aren’t just kissing my ass trying to impress me all day and following me around like a lost puppy 🐶. You know what it’s sad asfk and dehumanizing it’s shallow asfk too if I choose to go after a man for his wallet and looks SO what it’s just as shallow as someone not even knowing me but still sticking to me for my looks nothing more. Fuck that I rather use men like that than love them I treat good men who get to know me fr good only period the rest you nothing but a man with some money 💰
You are so wrong. Valuing a man for financial success is not the same thing as a gold digger.
Ok I'm very well off. And i think of girls in 3 categories when i date them:
1. Independent. Wants to have her own money and would never let me provide much of anything for her. This is not fun. I worked hard to be where I am and i want to share it with you. I also want to be acknowledged and respected for my success. I dont date these girls.
2. Gold digger. This girl feels entitled to money. Its not that she's attracted to me for my success but she literally just sees me as a wallet and that she deserves it. Undateable again.
3. Ideal girl. She is attracted to successful men and does not date bums because she is worth more than that. But she respects me for being successful and does not feel or act entitled but she is instead appreciative. She doesn't reqiure i spend money on her. Simply having the money is good. Im stable. But she's down to earth and knows i am not a wallet. A walk in the park or a simple low key dinner is all she ever expects because she knows IT IS NOT HER MONEY. She also intends to compliment me by providing equal value but in other ways, typically she's someone who reciprocates value by being a excellent home maker and mom because that is very valuable to a man. Unlike a gold digger who thinks just sex or her company is value which it is not.
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Asker
+1 y
Sorry but when you marry someone then the both of you become one. If her pussy is yours, your money belong to her as well. Especially if she take care of The kids and do the housework
And this is exactly what im talking about. Thats the attitude i find disgusting that would make me want to keep you as far from my money as possible. The girl who doesn't act entitled makes men want to pay for her. The girl who acts entitled makes men not want to pay for her. Its that simple.
That's also in marriage there is more access I agree but still she isn't the one in primary control of the money, just like she may make more decisions about the children or the house. But when dating, do you have sex on the first date? Why should you be entitled to money on the first date then? Even one tiny demand about money at any point and I would drop the girl asap. My current girlfriend offers to pay and split things all the time, of which I never allow her. She says we can stay in or go to a modest place to eat but then im just so impressed by that request I will want to take her someplace fancy. Its my money to do with as I please and she respects that.
There is a difference between your two examples. No one expects anyone to want to be in a relationship with someone they find unnatractive. Men valuing women for being attractive isn’t bad, same goes for women valuing men for being attractive. And valuing a partner for financial stability isn’t the same as being a gold digger. A good digger doesn’t value their partners financial stability. They want their partners money. And traditionally the only reason a gold digger is involved with a man is for his money. That’s what makes it bad. They’re not valuing the man for what they are, they’re valuing them by what they have. And don’t give me that crap about men not being attacked for only valuing a woman’s appearance, that literally happens all the time. Yes there are men who only value women for their looks, but that’s not seen as a good thing. And it shouldn’t be seen as a good thing for women to only value men for their money. Why can’t we all just agree that we should value each other as people.
I can tell you from experience a lot of guys who think they don't like a larger posterior are probably guys who have just never been with a girl with a large posterior.
@Cocacolaaddict She probably dates the same kind of guys so she sees some consistency in how they act and then overgeneralizes and assumes that all men are like the ones she dates. Very common mistake made by both sexes.
@Shuri I asked you if you believes that "ALL men prefer big butts?" You never responded to that question. It is reasonable to assume that if you don't respond to the question, then you don't disagree.
Okay, some guys like big butts and some don't. So what? Some guys are shallow and some aren't; some women are shallow and some aren't. So therefore it''s okay for girls to be shallow? Is that the best reason to support women being gold diggers?
That's actually not reasonable lol. What the fuck school did you go to that led you to think that?
And I did respond. I said 'a lot of guys'. Using 2nd grade reading comprehension schools, you should know 'a lot' and 'all' are not the same, therefore, I disagree.
I don't really care if people are shallow so long as the other person doesn't mind them being shallow. I care if they're using someone. There's a difference between using someone and entering in a mutual agreement. Some women don't mind being a side piece. Some guys don't mind paying for arm candy and pussy. I say do you boo. Life is short. Do what makes you happy as long as you aren't hurting someone else.
@Cocacolaaddict You didn't understand my text if you think 'all' and 'a lot' are the same thing.
@Shuri oh so your a grammer Nazi are you? Lol the grammer police has arrived I'll spell how m8 because I could really care less if my spelling is A perfect
@Cocacolaaddict Well, Grammar Nazi's correct all your errors. I just pointed out that you made (and continue to make) a lot of them. That doesn't make me a Grammar Nazi. It makes me an educated person.
Putting them up for adoption doesn't guarantee they won't attend your school. The name, please?
@Shuri exactly because you seem to think that spelling makes you smart your just overcompensating and it really shows if your logic of a smart person is someone who is perfect at everything then by your logic Albert Einstein was an idiot because he didn't even maintain proper hygiene because all of his intellect went into the other side of his brain meaning not being good at everything dosent make you stupid just like having everything right doesn't make you smart which is evident here
@Shuri Who'd want to fuck a talentless fat arsed Kardashian who's only "talent is having an ugly fat arse. (Along with my previous responces on similar topics).
What's wrong with pretending to care about someone and sobbing your pussy on a cock in exchange for someone to pay for the fact that you don't want to have a real job and contribute to society?
Also, you say this as though women don't value men for their appearance. We do. But their appearance is an attraction - wanting money for your light bill is monetary.
I agree! Women want security and men want to sow their seed! That’s natural! However falling in love is what matters and whilst money can be attractive the relationship won’t last and you’re hear just once! So I choose love! What is a shame is when a girl is in love with a multi millionaire yet no one believes them! Swings and roundabouts
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Asker
+1 y
Take Miranda Kerr for example lol. She married a billionaire and everyone is labeling her as a shallow gold digger, while she’s a vs model. They can love each other dearly, but peoples claim that she would never look at him if he wasn’t rich, so she is a mean gold digger , while it’s also the same with him, because I SINCERELY doubt he would marry her if she wasn’t a supermodel
The same way you can acuse her of marrying him for money you can acuse him of marrying her for her looks. Chances are even if they love each other him being rich and her being beautiful helped for sure. To say that one is less shalow than the other is just assumption.
Thisismyopinion finally a really good guy who’s fair. It remind me of the quote of Marilyn Monroe : don’t you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You might not marry a girl JUST because she is pretty, but my goodness doesn’t it help?
I still don't think either think is a very good idea. You know the avergae guy, that doesn't have that much money can still be a victim of a gold digger. The responses you are getting from guys reflect that. They imagine themselves marrying a girl and then losing everything.
Usually rich men go for younger glamorous looking goldiggers. She's using him for financial gain, and he's using her as a trophy on his arm and for her body. So they're both using each other . I don't know what the issue is about people hating goldiggers. He's just as bad as her really.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Everything you said is completely true. Dating for both looks and money is shallow. However, one is seen as acceptable where the other is not. Makes no sense right? Welcome to the world where whatever a man does is seen as acceptable yet what women do is shamed and condemned and all hell breaks loose. What a double standard.
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Asker
+1 y
Yep. It's like women do not deserve to do better only men do. Double Standards are real. Women have to be ride or die otherwise they are gold diggers. That is bullshit. Say no to broke asses and always upgrade when the opportunity presents itself. Men want the prettiest women they can get with no apologies. Are they beauty diggers? Ride or die is foolishness bcz when roles are reversed men don't ride or die. They upgrade. You will support him through his poverty then when he makes it he will leave you for a better woman. A gold digger he could not afford when you were ride or dying with him. Don't be deceived there's No respect for ride or die unless you are his mother.
I have literally never heard of a term called “beauty diggers.” However, physical beauty has been out in existence long before money. That speaks for itself. Honestly, at this point I think women should just do whatever the fuck they want because we will always be judged no matter what we do. Good or bad. So let’s move on and live our lives however we want to without giving 0 fucks of what other people think. The whole world is shallow and people work to further themselves in life so why should we hold back?
Women also have sex eith guys they like only for their looks just less often, the problem is that a golddigger in my eyes is just a robber. If you date someone without them knowing you only do it for money, your disgusting. If you have a sugar daddy then ofc go ahead.
First both a men with a much younger and pretty wife and a women with a much older rich husband will be judge I can tell you that.
Second issue here is that she can divource him and take his money with her. She can just marry and then wave goodbye richer than ever together with all the stuff he gave her until then. What does he get after that? Can he do anything similar? It's a far more risky situation for us to be with a gold digger then for a women to be with a sugar daddy.
"always upgrade when the opportunity presents itself"? So no matter how much you love the guy, if another with more money comes and wants you screw the guy you love I am going for the other now? Wow. Men don't leave their wifes just because a more pretty women came along.
I don’t ask to upgrade when you’re in a relationship but when we are single. And we know more cases of men leaving their wives and kids for younger prettier women than women leaving their family for richer men.
I disagree with desiring someone only to please some selfish motivation, be it sexual or financial.
Men however - have a habit of WANTING TO GIVE US SHIT.
It's like they automatically have to brag about their job (or hide it if they dont feel it's good enough,) get the bill, buy you gifts, pay your bills, fix your stuff... or outright give you money.
Dude dropped 1200.00 at me during vacation, because he wanted to "see me happy."
No.
He was completely flexing on the other men interested in me, to prove he was the better provider.
I gave it back of course lol - I am waaaaay to proud to be bought.
And I'm sure 1200.00 is kinda cheap for a human 🤣🤣🤣
Here’s the thing. If it’s fair for you to drop a guy because you find another guy who makes more money then it’s fair for us to dump you because we find a woman who stays in better shape than you, right? See you’re saying that your value is literally in your azzz & his value is in his bank account. When I deal with a woman who thinks like this I keep what I just said in mind. With a woman who values more then I will value more in her.
If you want to be a digger you better never get lazy. Eventually you’ll be old and competing with women leas than half your age. That ain’t easy. Only a few women can pull it off.
The reason men aren’t called gold diggers is because it’s rare and/or deeply shameful for a man to live off of a woman. But women brag about fleecing men and celebrated the movie Pretty Women which was about a hooker getting paid lots of cash.
I find many girls described as hottie as stuck up ladies who can't appreciate people who can't benefit them. While not all hotties are bitchy and not all hotties are gold diggers, I find myself hard to find hotties who knows how to respect themselves while maintaining wide social circle with various types of friends and relations as well as positive attitude.
I had never wanted beautiful women more than I want understanding women with good head on their brains and generous heart.
I work my whole life to build a solid foundation to stand on. One girl comes along and starts leaching off my kingdom. I divorce said girl and she takes HALF of everything I've ever worked for.
A girl goes to the gym a few times a week and stays healthy. She makes herself look nice. What do I have to gain from her other than she's pretty?
The double standard is girls get to live a life of luxury for doing nothing and complain about how hard they worked to get there. Unless you're working a 9-5 making 50%+ of the household income, I don't wanna hear it. Girls who do nothing and get everything have no reason to point fingers about who abuses a double standard.
No, it's degenerative and just a pathetic excuse to manipulate others. I don't like gold diggers because they exploit a man only for his pay check and maybe she might like the guy, but that woman in the relationship would only be there for the money really in the end if she's a gold digger, not him.
You're practically just arguing here "He finds me attractive so that means I can only use him for his money!" It's a bullshit excuse to just use someone for your personal gain. Even if the guy is an asshole and shallow you're no worse than him and even worse because he's at least honest about himself being one. Also, not all wealthy men are shallow or assholes, so you could just be using someone that loves you and is a decent person.
Valueing money on some level in a relationship is okay as having an income due to a job usually shows you're not lazy and you're willing to work. That's attractive, but to have your relationship only based on money is just selfish and superficial.
I'm honestly having a hard time agreeing. Money isn't that important for me. I don't know maybe because seeing my parents still together and working together when we were homeless seeing their love grow stronger by working together to own a home while we had food and staying in hotels made me realise that if you truly love someone money isn't that important. So many people told my dad how lucky he is. People has told my mom ( especially from family and even his ) to leave my dad because they blame him for what happened but my mom still stayed by his side. So for a girl to be with someone just because of his money seems wrong to me. But yes some Men will date women because of how our body is shaped and how we look but it doesn't mean we have drop down to their level.
I always thought the idea of someone considering financial value in a person as much more shallow than someone considering aesthetic value in a person. Obviously there's importance in considering financial stability for a relationship, however it's such a terrible thing to use as a lone judgement on a person.
Now obviously, I don't feel either are a good way to judge whether you're interested in a long term relationship with a person. However, I would definitely have to say that considering physical attraction is most certainly less "shallow" than considering someone's worldly possessions. In one, there's at least interest for the person, while the other is just interest in their stuff and it wouldn't have mattered if the person was actually there or not as long as the possessions remained.
Physical attraction is just an initial interest, and unless the stars align, you will not see a successful and fulfilling long term relationship without other important aspects in said person.
I don't think anything is wrong with these relationships as long as they're consensual and both understand what's going on. I will say though, in these relationships you also can't be upset by the dark side of them.
Such as the woman (or Male gold diggers) being treated like an object because, no offense, but if someone spends a shit ton of money on you. Unless they specifically asked for certain things, they most likely want you to shut up and be their possession to do with as they please. After all, they're paying for that type of power.
So sometimes that means a 10k necklace costs you anal at 3am because they're horny and can't go to sleep. That means you have to get them food and take care of them like your master almost. Or sugar daddy or whatever the hell they are to you because thsts what they're paying you for. As long as you understand you'll be sacrificing parts of your time and self for money. As well as how people view you, I think it's fine.
Both genders have Gold Diggers but for men they are called Gigolos and because of a Richard Gere movie in the 80s Gigolos are considered a sexy thing. As always double standard, rich dude is high fived for getting hot Gold Digger where rich woman is ostracized for getting a Hot Gigolo aka Male Gold Digger. Both sides go into it knowing the deal so if they don't mind others shouldn't care but society likes to shame women or everything!!!
For all the guys saying she is generalizing all guys, how many guys on this site do this in every question, opinion, post? Many of the guys and gals on here and in life generalize based on what they see and usually the people they choose to date and unless you wake-up look in the mirror fix yourself you are still going to be a loser in the Romance Dept because you have a Broken Mate Picker!!!
What's so wrong with pimping hos? There's nothing wrong with renting them out by the hour to other men and smacking the shit out of them when they don't have your money right? Women want money and men want money. There's no problem using them for money, women want it too... Bitch better have my money!
Awwww yes. It is the feminist movement, or what it has become. Shaming women for doing what is natural: finding a wealthy/productive man that can provide both for her, and her children.
It is no longer acceptable to have that view, and women that do it, and gold diggers. Simple as that. Bullshit. The feminist movement today attacks all sexes, degrading the necessary gender roles that have been in place for eons in all western civilizations, and it's worked out damn well all that time.
And now look at us. The average individual is getting lazier, and less productive as social movement progress.
Well, the thing is about deception. When you go on sites that specifically match you with sugar daddies and so on, both people understand what kind of arrangement we are talking about. When a guy wants a girl only for her looks it is easily seen as well but gold diggers are pretenders and liars, they manipulate and use other people and then leave them with nothing.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
men wants beauty women but they don't want to spend anything for them after marriage. they want something like before marriage. the pretty girl always pretty everytime they met. so the men expect the women be like in old time. always pretty. in fact she depend on him financially after marriage. without money after marriage, she can't be pretty. because no money, we can't buy pretty clothes and we can't buy makeup and skin care products. guys thinks pretty women are like an angel. stay pretty till they die. they didn't realize their girlfriend are pretty Because the girls' parents. guys are idiot.
You are assuming that she is one of those graduated students that can't find a job. But let's say that she doesn't buy makeup or nice dresses. So what? She can still find a goog guy. We are attracted to more than plastic beauty you knw?
Both men and women can get bored in a relationship. People just suck! I like to see my fiancee with makeup, but I couldn't care less if she was it one all the time or not. To me even right after she wakes up she is the most beautiful girl alive.
No she is not. I live with her I see when she puts it on. I know she leaves the house always with some base, but after shower if we stay inside just chilling she doesn't wear any. Still gorgeous to me.
It's called getting a job to keep yourself looking good, you shouldn't be looking for gifts, he should get you stuff on holidays and sometimes in between, inanimate objects can't cuddle you at night, make up doesn't always make you look good either
First don't label every guy you meet as a bad guy. If you find him interesting get to know him. If he is a good guy then JACKPOT! If he is bad dump him!
@ThisIsMyOpinion last time, I found this guy since a few years ago. we have been friends for years. and last year he made Instagram account. and he flirts every girls there. he said they are only new friends.. so how can I label every guys are good guy? after a few years, I finally know the real him. and other guys just kept asking me sexts and nudes.
@Cocacolaaddict before I called them trash. they already did bad things to me. so why i can't call them trash? they looked at me as sexual object, why I can't call them trash?
Opinion owner when you look at a potential partner you look to see if he's stable right? Got a job can provide for you? Your literally doing exact same thing as what those men are doing to you except your calling them trash money is just the female equivalent of looks to a guy
@Cocacolaaddict Because the ones that hurted her called themselves decent human beings. Again she is just hurt, give her a break. I have been talking to her for a while now and I can tell she is not a men hater.
@ThisIsMyOpinion well she sounds like one oh iv had many covos with feminists/man haters I know how they think of men but I think your right her demeaner does seem a little different I will say that much
@ThisIsMyOpinion no no I understand I would probably do the same in your shoes but when you call people trash people are bound to lash out if I said women are trash or nice girls are trash it would rightfully spark their ire I'm a christian man and I consider myself decent I wouldn't call myself good because I have plenty of bad which manifests especially when somebody sparks my ire but I try my best to be decent and she's basically saying I'm trash because of some people that hurt her that isn't me
The main problem here is that she can take his money with her after she ends the relationship, but he can't take her body with him after that. That is why this is a problem, because she can just marry the guy, strip him of what he has right after and that was that end of story. The guy has no way to prevent this nor can he do anything similar.
Another reason is, she is using him for money and he is using her for sex. So one in giving something that just involves a pleasure moment and the other is giving what took him years, sweat and blood to get.
Finally what if the guy is good looking and has money? She has both things while he only has her looks. He is giving much more than she does.
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