Why would a straight female feel closer to women than to men despite wanting to have a close relationship with a man?

I’ve always got along better with women than men. I’m a straight, 23 year old female. I’m single and usually feel like I don’t get that “connection” that I need in order to feel comfortable around a man. I have once, with a guy I dated back in 2018. He disrespected me so badly in the end that I felt hopeless with men-if I couldn’t trust him then who could I trust? After all, he was the only man I truly felt good with. He is the only guy who actually made me feel like a woman. Most guys in my life don’t make me feel protected or important-not even my own dad. I don’t have a great relationship with either parent tbh despite the fact that I feel like I’m the model daughter in my opinion. I have all my shit together, I stay out of trouble and pick up all the slack that my parents don’t-taking care of my younger siblings, paying for bills and sending my parents money when they are short, or the highly undermined fact that I practically raised myself and still turned out to be somebody my parents are proud of. Even though I have my problems with my mother as well as my father, I still feel like I can trust women and confide in them way more. I feel safer with women despite having been bullied by a lot of girls in my teen years and stabbed in the back by many friends. I never lost faith in women quite the way I did with men. I don’t hate men-I love them actually. It seems like I’m my day to day life I’m pretty well liked by both genders and have heard that I’m “different” from other girls “in a good way”- by more than one guy. There’s never that feeling or safety there though. And when men abandon me or insult me or do anything to hurt me it sticks WAY more than it ever has with girls. But whether it’s cousins or friends, family, my dad, or just men that I date- I feel like guys hate me. I feel like guys never truly appreciate me. I’m not attracted to women but as friends or sisters I feel so much safer just being myself. With men, I don’t. But I want to
Why would a straight female feel closer to women than to men despite wanting to have a close relationship with a man?
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