Girls, How to know if a woman only wants your validation?

[Anonymous]

How to know if she only wants your validation?

[beachloverr]

She might ask questions involving her physical appearance or anything that she’s insecure of

[Asker]

She once told me her insecurities. Then she told me when i laugh she feels insecure. But my laugh only bothers her when another woman is making me laugh

[Asker]

She also told me more recently that she think she has bipolar depression and that's why she has a therapist now for the past few months.

[beachloverr]

It seems like she has a crush on you if anything and that she trust you. Therapy should help her out though.

[Paolaa988]

She’ll ask you for a lot of insight. She’ll confide in you, she will open up to you.

[Asker]

That's a bad thing right?

[Asker]

Serious question. It may come off the wrong way

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by only wants your validation? If she wants your validation, she likely cares about you.

[Asker]

Isn't wanting validation a bad thing. Using someone to boost your own ego?

[Opinion Owner]

People seeking validation from exterior sources are likely struggling with insecurities however the majority of us are. We all know that we should not care about what people think but 95% of us do. The more she cares about what you think the more she cares about you. If she is extreme in needing validation of course that can be a big problem she should work on. What makes you think that all she wants is an ego boost and nothing more?

[Asker]

Someone she was talking too didn't want to hang out with her on his birthday he was with another woman and a few months later when my birthday came around she took me out and got me drunk for her ego. She all of a sudden remembered. She told me while i was drunk that she didn't like me like that and it would be weird if i liked her nd she would stop talking to me. But soon after she asked me would i date her and i said no and i stated her being immature her whole mood changed and she brought up the fact i wouldn't date her weeks later as people call us work wife/husband. Now months later we fell out and i stopped talking to her outside of work for month or 2. But towards the 2nd month she started saying how i don't like her and that i like my other female friends. She went to naming all the women she seen me get number or am i'm friends with and calling them my bff and i don't love her.

[Asker]

Then she started mentioning how i was ignoring her and how this other woman (who she haven't talked to in a year) but found out i still talk to and communicate with. This other girl and i became close so quick. She became jealous of her every since. She doesn't like any woman i talked to ever. I been knowing her for 6 years. This past year i noticed she doesn't like any women i show attention too. Even if 1 of them is her friends. She still have bad things to say about them.

Which tells me when she doesn't get my attention or my affection makes her mad. If she think i'm giving it to another woman she really started acting out and doesn't care if our manager hear her or not

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah that is strange. You could be right that it hurt her ego when you said you would never date her. In any case sounds like you already knew to cut it off outside of work. It does sound like she’s playing some games.

[Asker]

My point exactly. When i text her we barely talk about anything. It started off with her expressing her anger for not talking to her then she texts me for hours. Then things is good but she find a reason to argue with me about dumb crap. Like she likes me being agressive and showing emotions now that i don't care about the friendship like that any more. I did all the communicating and now i feel as if she only wants me to validate her and boost her ego.

When i needed her to be a friend she wasn't but those other women were there. When i tried to talk about it she got teary eyed and started talking over me and i was done after that. Then she keep telling people how i'm a manipulator and mean (people know i'm an ahole but a nice one lol) lately even with a shrink her emotions towards me been on display in front of everyone and she starting not to care who knows it.

[Opinion Owner]

Either way it sounds like she does not add any value to your life and she thrives on drama and other negative things. I’m guessing you don’t want her in your life? As far as her spreading bad things about you, it probably makes her look worse than you but I personally would set a firm boundary with her. Guessing she would cause drama at first but just cut her off and don’t feed it until she has no choice left but to leave you alone. What do you think?

[Asker]

I done that and all she does it make work misserable for our manager and coworkers to the point they're used to it and say we fight like husband and wife. I been over it now. At first jealousy i thought was a joke, then cute and now i'm over it. When we are happy with each other things are great. But her jealousy creeps up and ruin things

[Opinion Owner]

So what sort of resolution are you hoping for?

[Asker]

I honestly don't know. But for her jealousy to stop. I had jealous womrn in the past. But i actually dated and was intimate with them. She was a close friend and became jealous out of no where.

[Opinion Owner]

She needs boundaries in my opinion. Maybe there are some ideas in there to help with managing her jealousy:

camillestyles.com/.../

www.alisoncookphd.com/.../

[Opinion Owner]

And one last thing, if you set the boundary as you said you’ve tried, stick firm to it and do not teach her that you will back down if she violates it. You deserve more respect then that