Does asking what kind of gift a girl wants decrease the joy of receiving it?

[Firerubies]

I met a girl a few days ago and we’ve become friends. Her birthday is coming up soon but I’m not sure what to get her. Should I just ask her what she wants?

[NathanDavis]

it depends on the people, you and her both, and how you ask that.

It could be a different kind of joy, or a different kind of disappointment.

Maybe she really likes surprises, or maybe she's into details so she would really like a gift you thought of based on what you know about her, if she's like this and you just go "what you want for your birthday" that, can be a lot less fun.

And then, what if she says, even if joking, that she would really like a new phone or something that's 400 to 800 dollars... are you prepared for that? what if she says a car? or something that you think is a very stupid gift, and not only dumb but highly overpriced... are you going to make a comment about that, a face? people can pick up on our reactions, it could get awkward. And what if you actually spend 1000 dollars on someone you just met, that can send wrong signals as well.

I think the best choice is to just buy something smaller, based on something you know well about her, make her a detail, a present, you'll have other chances to give them a bigger gif or a more meaningful one, depending on what are your intentions about that.

[queenish_]

It doesn't decrease the joy of receiving the gift, it's good because we get exactly what we want. However, when you pay attention to girl and realises what she likes without having to ask and then surprising her with it, it's cute💓.

[msc545]

Ask her.