How to make a shy girl feel comfortable with me?

[Anonymous]

[TurboKid]

I stopped dating those but I started out dating some shy ones and I did pretty well just going full-blown chatterbox which I already tend to be. Like just talk her ear off and do and say whatever you want. Like, "Hey, look at that!" Then reach out and hold her hand. Want some pizza? I want pizza. Let's go get some pizza. I love pizza. I tried first tried it when I was 7-years old at a shopping mall in Tennessee and [...] You know, just talk her ear off. Actually, lots of people advise not doing this for shy types let alone dates in general but it always worked for me.

[TurboKid]

You kind of overpower the whole situation. Of course, you have to be very attentive to her body language. The whole point is to make her feel extremely comfortable around you, not less.

[TurboKid]

And also not like hyper-confident. Shy people tend to be a bit insecure so in your monologues talking to them, you can also express your self-doubts and things like this.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice my friend! i have a certain problem too because i am a little insecure. I don't know when I'm being nice or not

[TurboKid]

That's a bit tricky. I think one possibility though is to do something physical together like ice skating or table tennis or something like that. I think that puts less emphasis on conversation as opposed to just sitting across from each other but you get to interact and play. I think that also serves as a kind of an icebreaker that can make the shy ones more comfortable opening up with you after they're laughing and having fun.

[btbc92]

You don't. You can't make anybody feel anything they don't want to feel or bother with. It is up to that person to decide if we want to or not. As "shy" people, we observe you and sense things about you. That is the point of shyness which is not the same as being sensitive or being timid. You need to be honest about what you are looking for and your intent. If you know you don't have good intentions, best to not bother because eventually, we will know the truth. If we want to engage with you, we will. It's as simple as that. And you heard it from a person who has always been called shy.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice!

She is not very shy with me, but she is very introverted and sometimes I have doubts if she sees me only as a friend or maybe she wants something

[btbc92]

Asker, that is not how that works. She is fickle, and when like that, you won't get a straight answer because you barely know each other. You need to be compatible. Not if she sees only as a friend or something more, it is not just about seeing. It is about compatibility. And you can't see compatibility all the time with just looking at a person. You got to know. I am introverted and such myself, but it is not a joke or an excuse about this. It is best to remain friends, because even if you date, if she is not certain about it, your going to get hurt. Until then I think you need to just see if it is something you really want to speak to her about where you are coming from and what you are looking for. If she is unable to give that answer, it is best not to invest in dating. Just stay friends, but perhaps look for other potentials who is interested in being friend bu is open to a possible relationship or dating in the future.

[btbc92]

If she is around your age, she may be too young. Also, we tend to only want 1 partner. So if she is not certain it is you she wants to think about as a possibility you have to respect that and move on. You can still be friends and sounds like you can be friends, but this doesn't sound like something you can have a relationship with romantically.

[ashkitten1218]

As a very shy girl who is introverted, it takes awhile and yes I have to get there on my own. Don’t push or be overbearing.

[AmandaYVR]

Depends what your personality is like.

I like Turbo's idea. It suits him very much.

[Anonymous]

you don't... she has to get there on her own.