Girls, Women, what do you look for in a man?

[razelove]

Rough and pretty, oooh

For whatever relationship dynamic, what causes not just attraction for you, but interest.

[AmandaYVR]

You're a reader, right, razelove? So I'm not going to make this short. You seem to like details.

I like...

A generally fairly serious person but who has wit and can be verbally playful. I like out-of-the-box thinkers, creative minds, and colourful language. He can seduce me with his mind.
The smarter the better, but not so much that it makes him eccentric to the point of not fitting in with anyone.
He's polite but discerning, and doesn't open up to everyone, but he does with me (I tend to have that effect on people.)
He's a thinker. He doesn't accept everything he hears and is an independent thinker, but not obstinate or stubbornly set in his ways. He has morality and a code of ethics by which he runs his life, and he sticks by them without kowtowing to groupthink and idiocy by peer pressure.
He thinks globally, not just locally, and gives a shit about what is happening out there. He has honour and integrity and is kind and compassionate.
He's an honest communicator, not evasive or indecisive. He's not in denial about his true motivations. No games, no manipulations.
He is not afraid to show me vulnerability at times. I like bouts of expressiveness. If he is honest and vulnerable, I will treat his feelings with the respect and care it deserves. It is a gift to be trusted in such a way, and I feel honoured, and would never abuse that.

He has dark features, is taller than me, is conscious of his style and what he projects but not vain, and has a bit of counterculture edge to him, mixed with a dash of sweetness on the inside.

But above all, he has depth. Shallow just doesn't do it for me.

I could write a lot more, but it might seem too much like a list. I don't like lists or believe in dealbreakers, but writing a lot can make it seem like a list of must-haves and unrealistic expectations.

[razelove]

Well, it is a lot about your fantasy, so writing more wouldn't be a bad thing. Unfortunately I am the manipulative eccentric, dang. Though I do have rather tan features... is this a point system? lol

[AmandaYVR]

Ok, well, since we've established it's merely fantasy... more then?

He has a great jawline with nice facial stubble (I rarely prefer clean-shaven all the time, and I don't like long beards, but I love stubble and short beards.) It's mostly about the way it looks, and being a very masculine element. But there is also a very slight element of that dichotomy of hard against my soft, which is good. Reminds me he's not me, he's different. He’s the yang to my yin.

Voice is key. A deep voice that's not nasally, and he speaks deliberately, not frantically. I like calm energy. If he's frantic I'll try to calm him down (various ways) and if not, I'll exit the scene. Manic energy is like. gifs. Hate them.

He’s not so composed, conservative, or uptight as to completely limit or control his behaviour in public that he would not want to touch me, wrap his arm around, or kiss. I love it when he takes my hand and pulls me into an empty or dark, unlit area, and steals a kiss, makes a move. Or throws me up against a wall in a hotel corridor or darkened alley because he can't wait another second to touch me. It’s not about being caught or including others in it; it’s about wanting you more, in that moment, than worrying about being seen. It's about letting one's desires come out to play.

Confidence is not something I ever think about or is particularly important to me, but he shows me who he is, and bravely faces potential criticism and judgement. I respect the shit out of that. And it will probably be met with my acceptance. Obfuscation loses. Honesty wins. That's the kind of confidence and bravery I like.

[AmandaYVR]

He's an introvert but a damn good communicator; emotionally intelligent. Self-improvement-focused. Not one of these "accept me just as I am" types. We'll push each other, and grow together. I'll be harder on myself than he will of me, and I'll be more supportive of him than he may be of himself.

And yes, seeing as how we cannot a la carte people, yes, point system. So just -2. Very workable.

[razelove]

-2, I'm doing fantastic on this point system! lol, I don't think I've ever put that much thought into my "ideal" honestly I'd just copy my wife whenever I really start thinking about it. Which lacks imagination, I know, but it's what I want :)

[AmandaYVR]

Aw that's sweet.
I'm against lists, like I said. I always figured it was unrealistic to create too many expectations.
It's only since being on gag that I've sort of made something else of it, a fantasy-imagination-writing activity. I sort of like letting my mind wander in this way.

[jennifer_bloom]

I want an easy going guy who doesn’t expect me to be perfect and treats me with loyalty and kindness and respect.

[razelove]

I would say that sounds like pretty much any guy... but for expectations most guys are implicit, where as most women are explicit. Though it doesn't take much communication to sort out what you want from each other, sigh.

[mrfoox]

90% of the time I feel some sort of attraction if I find you interesting. The few things I've noticed 'look wise' of people I've been with is that majority are brunettes and/or have brown eyes 🤔
But for dynamic and personality? I strongly believe in the sense that ones partner is also your best friend, so I'd prefer we would share interests, at least a few.

I am a sensitive and rather timid person, so I'd most like someone that's patient and kind. They don't have to be as much of a 'feeler' like me, but they have to be emotionally available. I try my best to be open about my feelings even if I think it's hard, so I'd definitely like someone to be similar in that aspect. They don't have to share everything they feel but if something is bothering them, I'd rather have them explain it to me than to go and brood by themselves or blow up in my face from pent up emotions
And obviously humor is a plus. I'm sensetive but I also like to joke and have fun and love someone that can be a little goofy with me

Other than that just... I kinda want someone to share life's many turns with, for me I don't care much if they want to own a 5* restaurant or if they work as a cleaner. Being passionate about something is great, but to me it doesn't have to be a job. Which to many I'm sure is almost a dirty and bad thing, not being ambitious seem like a sin to some. But for me it's meh. I'd rather want someone that is invested in me/our relationship than being married to their job (this turned into a rant, I'm sure my point is in here somewhere...)

So to summarize... Someone open, kind, fun and understanding?

There's always sooo many things one can go into and dive into when it comes to what one likes/prefers, but I tried to keep it to the biggest things. I apologize for the novel 😅

[razelove]

There is no need to apologize. Some time ago when I was much younger I started thinking about my ideal woman and realized the physical had little to do with what I wanted, rather being part of a team and supportive were more important than being a stacked redhead with huge tits and curves.

It's a rare thing to be able to express and be honest about what you want when you're young, so enjoy that rather than be embarrassed that there's a process to get to the main points of what you desire :)

[DarkDream]

Hello Razz,

First of all forgive me if this is in a messed up order or end's up confusing in any way as I have had no sleep.

Here goes lol...

•Dark -
There needs to be a certain amount of darkness in him to be compatible with the darkness in me.

•Strength -
He needs to be strong. I need to feel protected sometimes and I also need to be handled by man there is a fire burning deep inside me and it needs a strong man th stoke it. A girl needs to be pushed against a wall once and a while and kissed until she loses her breath.

•Tender -
•Sincere -
A man needs to know when to be both Tender and Sincere and so does his woman these moments spent in each other's arms are the the most important to remember and to take to heart. Don't throw these talks to the wind.

•Spiritual -
I would like someone who walks the same path that I do.

•Provider -
A good provider someone who wouldn't mind taking care of someone else. While they started up a business.

•Friendly -
Someone who enjoys hanging out with other people and family. Who likes going to family functions and festivals who enjoys being out with thier partner holding hands and will except that persons family as his own.


I really just was a nice man who would best fit most of those and yet fit so much more the guy in my head is quite dynamic lol. Muscular fit probably not the type to be interested in me at all really. I like him taller than me blue or green eyes but not greatly important friendly and funny helps a nice smile full lips tough guy lol. Most of all has to want to love me the most.

[razelove]

That sounds sweet :)

[Alpha09]

Personally I like a guy who's genuine, and knows how to laugh. He's honest and knows what he wants. Someone who understands that ownership or clinginess has no place in the relationship. Kindness and communication are a big one. Also obviously attractive and has drive and goals, with an adventurous/kinky side.

[razelove]

Communication is a big deal in an ownership, clinginess is unattractive, but "ownership" is kind of implicit in a monogamous relationship.

[Alpha09]

I wasn't necessarily referring to a monogamous one.

[razelove]

Copy that ;)

[crazyish]

Raw
Genuine
Honest
Loyal
Respectful
Odd/different
All around passionate
Real
Rough around the edges
Damaged
Sense of humor, childish
Understanding is a big one, which goes along with accepting. I want a man who's not afraid or ashamed of who he is or what he has.

[razelove]

I would say that a lot of them seem to be repeats, but reading through a second time that's just on the surface. Like I'm brutally honest, but have zero respect for conventions that don't benefit me or mine in some way... though I like to thin of myself as respectful lol.

That's pretty well thought out. Is that more from experience?

[crazyish]

That is respectful. To yourself and others. As long as you're not going out of your way to change those conventions or others. But personally changing to fit conventions is in all actuality being disrespectful especially to yourself. And if you can't respect yourself than you definitely can't respect others.

I honestly listed these things without thinking, pure instinct and brutal honesty. And your reply just made something click for me.

We tend to seek others who reflect ourselves and our own values. So yes it's definitely from my personal experiences. Thank you for your reply by the way.

[Whitneythegemini]

The #1 thing I look for in a man is faithfulness, it’s so important to trust the person i am with! Besides that I like a sense of humor & a guy that’s laid back. I also really love when a man is very determined & passionate about his career.

[razelove]

So you're mostly looking for older guys for long term then? You don't really have an opportunity to have a career at 20 unless daddy has a company for you to inherit or something.

[Whitneythegemini]

I’m 20 and am state certified in esthiology and massage therapy. Have already started my career as an RMT. So it’s not impossible to have a career at 20 . I do usually date men that are 23-25 and even then some do not have careers but what’s important is that they have a goal and I see them working towards that. I like strong determination which I don’t think is a big expectation at all.

[NorthAfrican]

Handsome and Masculine
Fertile And Family oriented
Protective and brave
Smart & Educated & Well read & Curious
Respectful
Traditional
Makes enough money to sustain the family

[razelove]

Ahh, so can I assume you're more traditional? As in you're a woman who wants a man that will be monogamous with you, make babies, he supports with work through finances and protection, you support through raising children and support?

Please correct me if my assumption is wrong.

[NorthAfrican]

Yes and i will also take care of the cooking and cleaning and kids, a 2 ways street kind of thing!

[razelove]

How are you not swept off the dating market yet? lol

[NorthAfrican]

Haha! well, I might get engaged in a few months but Covid is making things hard

[razelove]

Congrats in advance! I wish you two the best of luck :)

[NorthAfrican]

Thank you! THat's sweet of you!

[Minahh]

He is emotionally available, I feel safe with him, he makes me laugh, he is adventurous, a leader, likes to participate in challenges, isn't afraid, he is romantic and sensual and he needs to like 🐱 and be a good dancer 😄

[razelove]

So basically you want the alpha male who likes to go down on you? Sorry if I'm misinterpreting, but I don't know what that emoji means (I'm a decade and a half older than you lol).

Opening up happens as a relationship develops. At least it always has with me, it isn't that I lie, but more that what I reveal about myself within the first year or so of a relationship is a puddle of depth and area compared to a pond. Most people just don't ask many questions and are very self-centered so that's very easy.

My wife was actually the first person to ask me if I was dating anyone else, and I was honest with her and told her I was.

[Minahh]

I meant he needs to like cats lol but to go down on me is true as well 😂

[Apple1996]

I don't look for much. They just have to be chill and know what they want out of life.

[razelove]

I think that's the dividing line between men and boys. I knew a boy in his 80's who I looked up to and got along with well... but his personal life was a damned mess mostly because he had so many targets and committed to none of them.

Hmm, that raises another question for me, do you think it's the same divider between girls and women? Having goals and committing to them?

[Apple1996]

Pretty much the same goes for women too. I'm more specifically talking about things they want like timeline for marriage, kids, buying a house and all that stuff. I just couldn't be with someone that didn't plan that stuff out

[loves2learn]

ReliableHonest
Compassionate
Masculine
Driven

[razelove]

Compassion, masculinity, and drive can eliminate the compassion part. In my most "manly man" moments I had drive, control over other people's lives, and absolutely no compassion or value for the lives of people who were not my crew. If they lived or died, that was a consequence and of no concern to me as long as me and my crew prospered.

Do you mean compassion between you and your man?

[loves2learn]

Well G@G decided to format that weird. 🤔

[loves2learn]

Correct. Compassion for me.

[Nicegirldaqui]

Patience, friendship, comprehension, loyalty, love, beauty, intelligence etc.

[razelove]

What would the etc. be? I've just found most women do have higher standards when they're younger, though of course that's not true for everyone.

[Titli1995]

Body, Muscle and Eyes before talking them and after taking sense of humor.
I like men with beard also

[AcadiaJ]

Loyalty, honesty, committed, funny, and fun and laldback are the most important traits.

[Missy0]

To treat me good, that i feel safe with him, that he is showing that he likes me and not be too much needy

[JazzyJ223]

Consistency, Respect, and Independence

[razelove]

I like that, and by independence, do you mean for him, you, or both? A lot of what has made my marriage work has been striving for both. It would have been very easy to make my wife a "china doll" early in our relationship, but encouraging her to be herself (even when I disagree) is far more satisfying.

Objectifying and breaking someone down into a static object is very boring as opposed to encouraging them to be dynamic and explore what they want and who they want to be. Consistency and Independence might be contradictory in that sense.

[JazzyJ223]

Yea I definitely do mean on both ends. But usually if a guy isn’t codependent or needy in the beginning it’s a good indicator he will allow you your freedom

[razelove]

Ok, I got you, you mean consistency as in being reliable, and self-reliable, right?

[iKarmaJones]

Character

[razelove]

I'm a character

[Nazgol]

Is that you?

[razelove]

I've only been AFK a week... am I that conspicuous?

[Clenakhan]

Honesty, respect, faithful, honesty, and patience.

[cat1313]

im 13 so any thing