I'm too picky with girls?

[Anonymous]

There are a number of girls (4 or 5) that want to go out with me at the moment but I only like them as friends, not as girlfriends. I've always been really picky with girls, If a girl isn't interested in the same things as me, if I find her strange / mean, or I'm not attracted to her physically, I won't go out with her even once. Its probably the reason that I haven't had a girlfriend yet, because I want a girlfriend that I can hang out with and talk about things that we're both interested in. Someone I can just 'chill' and be friends with but still have a relationship.

So, I recently fell for a girl (employee) at a nightclub that I did volunteer work for. She's a paid photographer there and I do free videos for the club.

Anyways at first I thought she was really cute, she caught my eye the moment I saw her. After a while though I started to respect the fact that she does really similar work to mine (digital imaging)

and that she always makes me laugh and smile when I'm around her. I started falling in love with her.

Eventually I asked her out but I found out she has a boyfriend,

I was pretty crushed by this. Keep in mind she doesn't seem like just another girl but someone I always had a good time being around. I stopped volunteering for that nightclub because I always feel terrible now that I know she has a boyfriend and because I've seen them kissing a few times.

I'm trying to move on but its been a month now and I still keep thinking about her all the time. I've tried keeping my mind occupied with other things but she won't go away.

____________________________

Is it wrong to be picky with partners? Should I be more open to everyone or keep pursuing girls that are compatible with me?

[ArtistBboy]

By being picky you're only limiting your selection of potential partners. And a lot of those "filters" are based on assumptions. You're assuming that these girls (that you're rejecting) and yourself are incompatible. In turn your stopping yourself from risking anything to get to know people further. And you've gotta realize that you're only doing so because of the situations like the one you've described above. But all the guys in the world want something similar to what you want. Supply and demand bro. Rather than looking for the catch, be the catch. Learn how to be the confident cool guy that doesn't fall foe a girl based on a few facts. Look for something much deeper, like what you may have paid attention to : her personality, etc. But falling for a girl so sudden is an ultimate no, no.

~ArtistBBoy

[Tamikaze]

We all have standards. I would never suggest pursuing someone you are not attracted to. I got that cr*ppy advice from friends and it was a big mistake. I have never been able to make myself become attracted to someone I wasn't already interested in.

So, keep your standards and wait. You may end up being able to give on some of the common interests part of the equation as long as you have some interests in common, but the rest of it sounds normal to me.

[devotedlyopinionated]

You're being WAAAAAAY too picky. You're just assuming that the person you're compatible with has to be pretty much the female version of yourself. In all reality, she may be your opposite. If you don't give girls even one chance you're almost guaranteed to be alone for a very long time because you have such specific criteria that may not turn out to fit the girl you fall in love with.

[udolipixie]

It's not wrong to be picky.

As a guy you can be picky longer than women.

Keep pursuing girls you're compatible with.