How do I be confident?

[Kat_and_igg]

Can’t believe I’m writing this aged 38 but here goes.
A year ago I got out of a 15 year miserable relationship where I was put down, abused, cheated on to name a few. It really changed me as a person.. anyway for the last few months I’ve been seeing someone who means a lot to me, I’ve know him many years, he’s a good looking confident man. my issue is I have no confidence and I’m always expecting the worst and my own anxiety is being aimed at him as I always think he’s going to cheat or leave me.

He sent me a quote recently that said “confidence has no competition” hr said confidence is attractive and he wants me to be confident. I just don’t know how to be? Men / women help me? How do I act more confident around my man. I don’t want to come across arrogant or make him jealous. But how do I exude confidence.

thanks

[Woke51]

Confidence is acceptance of yourself: "I am me, and it doesn't matter what anybody thinks of me."

It is also acceptance of situations: "It is what it is." "So what?" "I'm good regardless of what is going to happen."

The way I understand "confidence has no competition" is that you're just you. You are not competing with anyone. Anxious, insecure person compares themselves to everyone. Confident person is just chilling. It doesn't even cross their mind to compare or compete.

[Kat_and_igg]

This makes so much sense! Thank you.

[jshm2]

You're confused. He is talking about himself, not you.

[Kat_and_igg]

He told me he wants me to act confident, that it’s attractive to be confident.

[MrCommodore]

It takes time and support to build confidence, you can only do it with the right people around you encouraging you.

[SamFromFL]

If you have anxiety like that have you had therapy?

[Kat_and_igg]

No I haven’t. I probably should. I’m trying hard to just relax but I feel like I’m constantly waiting for something to go wrong.

[SamFromFL]

Then yes, plan to start counseling in August.

[boggboss]

To act confidant u have to be confidant lol just try working on yourself and learning to trust him

[Iron_Man]

Get yourself in the gym change everything around

[Kat_and_igg]

Haha believe me I have. I’ve just spent 15k on cosmetic surgery, I have abs and a new bum! My body is good, maybe it’s just a mental thing.

[Iron_Man]

Oh wow You’re only 39