Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I don't know if it's "shallow" everyone has their shallow things that they don't like to admit. You have the right to decide to be with whoever you want.
I personally won't date a woman I don't feel has a beautiful face. Some might say I am shallow, but I have to look at her every day, and I find that it affects my commitment in a relationship. It is something that I need. Going against this for others will only hurt me and whoever I chose to "settle" for. That being said I deal with what comes with attractive women.
As far as you being born upper-middle class... What do you do for work? How much money do you actually bring in? My guess at your age would be not upper-middle class. You might get that money at some point. But if you aren't earning what they are earning, then you aren't really on their "level" until they die and give you all THEIR money. Which you didn't earn. Or earn it yourself. Did your parents always have money? Or did they work for it? What did they do? Your level is actually the level YOU are at now. Not your parents.
Finally, if you are determined to find a "rich" man. Then you need to know what you are, and what goes along with that. And be ok with it.
- He's most likely going to be older. Do you mind marrying a man 10+ years older than you? Most guys your age won't have money until their mid-30s.
- Are you Hot/Beautiful/Sexy? Really be honest with yourself. Compared to women you see around you. Do you have attractive well put together men approaching you? Are you finding the types of men you want to date? Guys with money don't date average women. They want hot trophy wives. It is what it is.
- He is probably going to want a more traditional type of woman, wants kids, stays at home with them, or works part-time. Cooks cleans, treats him with respect, provides sex when he wants it, cares about her appearance, in shape, dresses well, etc.
- Rich men cheat. All the time... Are you ok with that? A rich man is like a supermodel woman. All the women want him, so you will have a lot of competition. And while your looks go down, his go up. Again is what it is.
- He doesn't want a headache. He has enough to deal with at work, if the woman causes him issues, there are plenty of younger hotter replacements waiting to take your place. So if you are the typical "independent woman" then you are going to have trouble.
If you are ok with all of that, so you can maintain your lifestyle. Then go for it, and be happy. But I think a lot of women think that they can just get a hot rich guy that is completely faithful and treats them like queens, when the reality is quite different.
So my advice would be if you find a nice guy, that treats you well, and has clear goals and wants to earn that money. Go with him. Or maybe you win the lottery and find the guy of your dreams. One is more likely than the other. It's your choice.
This was actually a very sound reply. Thank you for putting things into perspective.
Many young guys who come from old money actually and other than it if it is really upper middle class plenty of young engineers or investment banker
Most billionaire wife look average and their look match usually so don't agree with it
Disagree most educated men are with other educated women even career that produce at least upper middle class and if he is rich than he can afford help she don't need to do much anyway many rich men like intelligent and ambitious women
Check Billionaire wife's most of them are feminist and exactly strong independent
@Yyyyu
Lol... Sure take the 22 year old woman's advice on what men want. Over the 34 year old upper middle class man's advice. Let me know how that works out for you.
FIrst off, their aren't "many" guys that come from old money. That is a small percentage of the population. That is 1% of the population. Of the entire population, 15% make 100k or more, 10% 150k. That is not a lot of PEOPLE, and not all of those percentages are men.
"Most" billionaires don't have average wives, and the ones that do, marry them before they made their money, which I actually suggested. Finding a good guy that is on that path.
Bill gates had an average wife, we also all found out how he had a mistress the whole time. Why? Because it's cheaper too keep their wives then to divorce. They can just get a mistress, problem solved.
And most educated men, don't give a shit about how much money their wives make. We don't care because you ladies don't share your money with us anyway on average. But mostly because women with money, come with a shitty attitude. Not worth if to a man that doesn't need your money.
And check those billionaires wives again... most of them are strong and independent, because they got money from their husbands to start a business. They aren't self made like the men themselves usually. They are the result of their husbands, not the other way around.
But again. I think it's interesting that you have an upper-middle-class man, telling you what we want. And this young girl is telling you that I am wrong about what someone like me wants. And she knows men better than me. Which is pretty funny.
I have rich upper class and upper middle class relative and I can see what kind of women they marry and like. Most of them were rich most billionaire are millionaire son even than many actually had met their
average looking wife after becoming rich. Literally google come founder wife's are CEO and business women one example and even other are extremely educated why almost all of them have gone to ivy League? You are gonna tell me that it is a coincidence that most billionaire wife are ivy League educated?
Trade offs. If you don't necessarily care about marrying for love and would only consider it a bonus. While being willing to marry older because it's practical for getting what you want.
Then I actually wouldn't necessarily call it shallow in your case. Because you know what you want as well as what you're willing to give up to get it. It is superficial but I don't necessarily equate superficial to shallow.
A shallow girl is more about the image, dating someone who is known as the hot guy, or status, which usually means rich but not necessarily and will not date someone whose image doesn't reflect on her in a big way.
Like the girl who only dates dj's. That's a little shallow. Yours, tho superficial, isn't about that. You've had a certain lifestyle for years and want that to continue like most people would want in a good position. So you'd want to be with a guy who could assist in facilitating that life.
You're honest with yourself which is cool. And as long as you're understanding that you'll have to put in work and be willing to give some things up too then that's all well and good.
Like I've genuinely had girls who are medically speaking morbidly obese say I'm shallow, because I will not date a girl who is literally according to a doctor morbidly obese. It's not shallow to say no to that lol.
If I can't get my dick up for a girl it isn't gonna work. But that said, I'm also not a piece of shit. I have a sense of humor. I'm engaging and know how to give a girl a good time. I'm good I'm bed. I'm in good shape and I'm willing to go home by myself.
I put in work and accept the unintended consequences of going after what I want. There are things I was willing to give up and things I'm not willing to give up that I know slow me down.
You just have to be clear on what those are for you. If you are willing to accept the unintended consequences of getting what you want, then fuck everybody else. At the end of the day their opinion doesn't matter
No it’s ok
Keep being you and get what you want…
Don’t feel bad about how you feel
But remember make sure there is also love in there you love that person too!!
I’m the same as you old money my grandparents own buildings and gas stations in Europe ! I have dated a guy who’s had a regular job but he used to feel very very inferior.. I would let him be the one go to dinner and pay but then he would tell me oh I paid but this is nothing for you ! I mean I didn’t even say anything bad.. I thanked him for the diners etc.
the guy I’m dating now I found him through my family friends. He is not rich as my family but he is aware of “this life “because he has been in poor and rich so he knows this “rich side “ how things flow.. he doesn’t feel inferior , even though he is rich from
Family he works very very hard he still wakes up at 5am and comes home at 8pm!! Which I love it.. he is a hard worker.
Don’t feel guilty: don’t ask for people opinions and permission. Find a guy that fits your goals ❤️
Oh and also if you are early 20e for sure keep looking. I’m 30 and finally found the one! Pls don’t even think of rushing don’t destroy bridges because you can’t wait. Don’t listen to comments who say you will be single. It’s a lie. Time works for you so please take your time…
Depends on man's finances seriously 😑 Well I hope you at least know how to control your spending and know how to manage your finances Karen
Not necessarily. I think it's smart to recognize it this early on. My mother grew up wealthy, and she married my father who grew up extremely poor, thinking that love would fix everything. And they still love each other very much, but she isn't very happy most of the time. Some of that has to do with her parents shoving it in her face most of the time, saying that she made a bad decision when she married my father. Some of it also has to do with my father feeling pressured to be something he's not. But a lot of it has to do with the fact that my mother just has less now than she had growing up. She wants things she can't have.
Of course I'm grateful that they ended up together. But if you are used to a certain lifestyle, and you don't think you'd be happy without it, it's a completely reasonable thing to not want to marry someone who couldn't give you that lifestyle.
No it's not reasonable the dumb bitch should just make her own money
She does. She makes more money than my father. But she grew up in an environment where women weren’t supposed to work. And the people she grew up with look down on her for having a job. They say she chose poorly. And she grew up picturing a lifestyle in which she could have expensive things without having a job.
She never gets on my father’s case about it. She’s just unhappy a lot of the time.
Your father would have been a wealthy successful man if only your mother knew how to control her self and make wise financial choices. Well that's the problem right there. Your mother isn't smart on her financial choices. She spends your father's money selfishly that's why your parents can't move forward and become for financially successful. Again that is not your mother's fault. Blame it on your grandparents for not teaching your mom how to manage her spending or teaching her that expensive things aren't everything in life. Your mother is so use to spending and wanting all these expensive things lavish life style it is no wonder your father can't be successful thanks to your mother's poor financial choices. My dad did not come from a wealthy family but he is smart on his financial decisions now he is debt free and wealthy. I have met so many people that weren't born into wealthy families thanks to their smart financial choices they had become wealthy now and it wasn't because they got me all crazy buying all these expensive things. I feel sorry for your mother's side of the family for having that mindset thinking woman shouldn't work , If they're husband go bankrupt They are not going to know what to do or how to survive in life because the only thing they know what to do is to insert they're husband's credit card and shop shop shop. I am glad my parents teach me and raised me to not make poor financial choices.
@Hallo626262 I had met so many people that weren't born in a wealthy family but they had accomplish to become financially successful thanks to their smart financial choices. You are right this girls mother is so used to a luxury life style she probably spends her husband's money selfishly does not make wise financial choices. You are right if the bitch wants expensive things she can go get a job herself. It makes me sick some women see man as a spending wallet and not as a human beings.
Once again, my mother isn’t the one who makes poor financial decisions. She may want expensive things, but she has a lot of restraint and doesn’t buy what she can’t afford. My father is actually the more impulsive one who spends significantly more than he brings in. He wasn’t allowed to know my bank information as a teenager because if he did he would take my money. He didn’t grow up with money, so now he doesn’t know how to be responsible when he has it.
People on here are so quick to call my mother names, and assume things about her. She’s never gotten on my fathers case about the money thing. Her family gets on her about it, but she’s never told my father that he needs to make more money. She does make her own money, and the money for the entire family. And she’s not the one spending it all. She can’t control whether or not she is happy. It’s not her fault that she was brought up to expect certain things. She didn’t know what it was like to not have a lot of money when she got married. But she loved my father, so she married him anyway. And she still does love him.
That no excuse I had met so many people that didn't come from wealthy families yet they were smart with their finance's and how to manage money and not spent it on stupid stuff. You did mention your mother wanted expensive fancy things she use to have when she was young but now as an old woman she can't have it anymore because mommy and daddy isn't there anymore to pay for it. About your father that's your mother's fault for not choosing a christian good hearted man. The cycle of spoiled brat continues your mother was a spoiled brat and now so are you, Honey it's not your money it's ethier grandparents give money to your mother to have it put in a bank account or your mom got you a bank account instead of teaching you how to be responsible and work for your own money , As a teenager you should have been work at a grocery store , Babysitting jobs here and their teach you to find ways to work and earn money. When I was 15 I've worked at a grocery store and I was able to save up for a car I now thank my dad for not making me a spoiled brat. I bet your mother didn't know how to cook a meal much less know how to clean a house since she had maids doing it for her when she was young. Why would your dad married your mom if she didn't know how to clean a house or cook?
You keep assuming so many things. First of all, mental health is a real thing. People who grow up stressing about money, tend to have an unhealthy relationship with money as an adult. It takes years of therapy to move past it.
And it actually was my money. Because I earned it myself. I babysat and worked in a few offices. And my parents followed the advice of child psychologists by encouraging me to put my own money in my own bank account. Because then I got to practice making responsible financial decisions. So that I won’t have the same money problems that my parents did.
My mother is the best cook I know. She enjoys cooking. And my father does most of the cleaning at home. It works out, since she spends more time working at her job than he does at his. So he does a bit more housework and it evens out.
And once again, my mother doesn’t complain to him about it. She doesn’t try to make him feel guilty. A big part of the reason she even gets upset about it is because her parents are constantly telling her that she could have so much more with someone else. She doesn’t even want really expensive things. I remember my grandparents used to openly trash talk my father in front of me and my brother when we were kids. My mother never said anything bad about him or his job.
And I will openly admit that my grandparents have paid for a lot of my things growing up. They bought most of my clothes, and paid for our vacations, and most of my schooling. I had more toys growing up than I knew what to do with. Not to mention all the money they set aside for me in bonds when I was a baby.
But I know the difference between their money and mine. I didn’t ask them to give me those things, and every time they gave me something it was with the understanding that they were judging my parents for not having already done so.
Well your grandparents sure did spoiled you , I don't believe your mother is a good cook since she had a maid get it done for her , Who tough her if your grandma is a lazy bitch. So your parents weren't mature enough to support a child even dough they were in their 30's and still acting like a child. Your father is lazy for not searching up more opportunities for his family and future. So he rather stay home be job bless and have your mom as a cash cow. In fact he only married your mother for money not because he love your mother. He probably saw your mother as a cash cow. Your father is lazy he could have become wealthy and successful if he worked his ass off and look what is more out there. Your money sure yeah right must be coming from grandma's wealthy bank account. Seriously buying you toys and clothes why because your parents were lazy and immature to provide for you. Okay, It is no wonder why your parents don't know how to manage money they had to get professional help to guide them about opening a bank account. Admit it your father cleans because your lazy mom does not know how to clean I bet he has to do the cooking because obviously your lazy grandmother never teach your spoiled mom how to cook a home fresh cook dish your lazy grandma had to pay someone else to date the cooking and cleaning. Also your grandmother is useless I bet she wouldn't servive on her own when your grandfather dies.
*To do the cooking
😂 You are so intent on making my family out to be awful people. Why? I hat benefit is it to you?
And my mother learned how to cook because -as I said before- she enjoys it. Believe it or not, even rich people have personalities. Likes and dislikes, you know? She knows how to clean too. It’s not that hard to figure out, but my father is home more, so it makes sense for him to do it.
Just as a matter of being factually correct, my grandparents didn’t hire someone to cook for them. They went to restaurants a lot, but they would still cook sometimes. But no, my grandmother wasn’t a good cook. My mother learned on her own.
My father does work. Before the recession he was the main one making money for the family. My mother didn’t work before the recession. But then his office had to cut back on employees.
And they had enough money to support their family on their own. I wasn’t lacking in clothing and toys. My grandparents just wanted me to have more. They wanted me to be raised the way my mother was raised. With a new outfit every day and spending weekends at the country club. My parents could probably have paid for my college too. But my grandparents wanted to. My parents paid for my brother’s college themselves. (I’m the favorite grandchild, and my grandparents don’t hide it well. They didn’t offer to pay for my brother).
So no. My father isn’t lazy. My mother knows how to take care of herself. And my grandmother isn’t useless. She just had no need to have a job. (And shell be fine when my grandfather dies. They have a joint bank account and have been retired for years. They have plenty of money left, not to mention quite a hefty life insurance plan).
Your Grandma is huge and fat all because she can't cook that is ridiculous the most needed skill in life. Your grandma is LAZY! I don't believe your mother cooks and she does not clean at all. Now your father had to do the cleaning because your mother does not know how to clean so of course your dad has to get it done. Yes your dad is lazy since he expects your mom to be the cash cow.
Okay at this point you’re either stupid or trolling. I’m done having this discussion. Have a nice day.
Opinion
74Opinion
Simple. You should be make enough money for yourself to be independent and the man you marry should make enough likewise. Together you can enjoy a better life together.
So let’s say you make $150k a year and he makes $80k. So what. So fucking what. Just as long as he respects you and is you are attracted to him than you will make much happier w/ him versus some guy who makes $500k a year and looks at you as afterthought. Sure you might get some more expensive jewelry, nice cars and a few nice vacations. But unless you are the hottest girl he ever met in his life (and has leverage to get very choosy) don’t expect him to worship you.
Also don’t expect the rich guy to be loyal either. The second he gets bored or frustrated w/ you he can more than easily find some other money hungry whore to satisfy his impulses.
Last but not least you were fortunate enough to be born into old money. Congrats on that. I’m a firm believer in capitalism and sounds like your parents did quite a bit to make sure their kids can have a better life. But do not I mean do NOT get it into your head that you are better or smarter than anyone. Your not. You were just lucky but you didn’t earn that money because you are special. Your parents (and maybe grandparents) likely made hard sacrifices you never had to make.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of but it sure as hell doesn’t make you “high society” just because you were born into that.
A few years went on a date with a rich bitch who actually lived in the same neighborhood as I do a few years ago.
There is a rich part of my neighborhood and an upper middle class part of it (where I bought my house). The stuck up cunt said that her mother said my part was the “lower part” of the neighborhood. I wish it was legal to knock her teeth out for saying that. I paid every last penny for my house and I sacrificed and worked for it. Mommy and daddy didn’t give me one red cent for anything. Don’t EVER be like that cunt. Ever.
Don't feel bad those people do not know how to manage money or make wise financial choices. Woman like the Asker are the type that would send money selfishly making their husband go bankrupt and loose their home thanks to their stupid money choices. I had met a lot people that weren't born into wealthy families they had come me a long way because they were wise on their finances and now they're debt free. People like your selfish neighbor are the ones that end up losing everything. Once they loose their fancy home go bankrupt they end up losing their friends.
*spend
@Alwayreckles93 she at least as a conscious somewhere to be cognizant about her attitude. So there is a glitter of hope somewhere. But still inherited wealth has a shitty way of making some people think “they deserve it and their better” unless check themselves with some humility.
My high school best friend came from a very wealthy family. He is one of 4 boys. However their dad was a real hard ass and self made multi millionaire. But no one in the family is entitled. He didn’t enable any of his boys and held them to high work standards. He’s the type of guy who is nice until he’s not. My best friend NEVER was snooty. If you met him without knowing his background you would think he’s an average working class type.
Anyway I asker could easily go down one of two paths. She can recognize she’s extremely lucky. Nothing wrong with that. Her family is not “evil” for being wealthy. She can look for certain qualities in a future husband that don’t have dollar signs attached to it hard working, educated, respectful, innovative, self disciplined yet risk taking). However these qualities usually translate into wealth later.
OR she can become exactly what you said above if she wants the quick fix. The more attractive she is the higher risk it can happen.
Personally I’m self made upper middle class. I spent my 20s adventuring (I competed in pro mma) and I had a failed business. But it taught me a lot. It wasn’t until 33 I found my groove and started making 6 digits. I bought my first place at 35 and I’m in the process of buying my second property on the beach.
I don’t buy expensive clothes, cars, shiny toys. I have spent money on traveling which I don’t regret at all. I’m learning a foreign language and a volunteer mma coach for disadvantaged kids in a poor country. Helping those kids gives me greater joy than any fancy car.
And that rich bitch can rot in hell for all I care. She wasn’t that attractive anyway. What a moron.
But from what I can see you are smart with your finances. Plus you are in your 30's mature and making wise choices.
@Alwayreckles93 i got a late start (I actually just turned 40) But I don’t regret the experiences i had in my 20s and early 30s with pro mma and traveling. Sure i never got Conor McGregor rich but some of the experiences I had particularly my last fight i wouldn’t trade for 10 million dollars. Money is important but there are some things you can’t buy. The girl I was dating at the time understood that too. I’m educated by the way but I choose to do some things differently back then and I don’t regret it (despite my parents going ballistic).
The bottom line is i respect anybody who works, is independent and obeys the law. I’m getting real fed up with able bodied young people thinking they are entitled to government funding just because they breath air. I went without a car and rode a fucking bicycle for a year and half to pay off my student loans. While my parents did help me with the first year of college I was pretty much on my own for the rest of it (albeit two small favors when I was stretched thin). They pushed me into college anyway. I wasn’t really ready for it at the time.
However beyond that I never looked for handouts from anybody especially the government. I’m a MAN. I don’t get the luxury of marrying into wealth to be worthless ding dong who only cares about getting my nails done.
Again I realize not all women are like that. But an unacceptably high percentage of them still are (asker is an example). There is no excuse for it in the western world. There is now a plethora of options for women to be self sufficient.
Who says it will down grade your lifestyle? Go out with an upper class guy who’s always working and you never see him or go out with a lower earner that puts you first and makes you happy?
It’s only money it’s not live or life. I could’ve had an amazing, high earning job when my children were younger but I wanted to spend time at home with them so I downgraded. I start a high earning job in a month, they are older now.
There’s more to life than money and I pity people that can’t see past that!
Well, it's definitely old-fashioned, but I wouldn't be as judgmental about it as some people. If it's about lifestyle: are you like rich enough that you could maintain a lavish lifestyle without marrying money? If it's about status: I get it but most people would say that's a bit shallow.
I mean, it seems more reasonable to have a general idea of what you want but to keep an open mind at the same time. At the end of the day though, as long as you aren't taking advantage of anyone, you don't have to justify personal decisions like this to anyone.
There is no such thing as equal opportunity dating. Everyone is free to choose a partner according to whatever criteria suits them. Shallow? Maybe, but that really depends on you. Generally people seek their equal in intelligence, emotional maturity (adulting), physical activity, and ambition. Wealth tends to follow intelligence, emotional maturity, and ambition. What do you mean by "on my level" ? And why would a man that you believe is on your level be attracted to you?
A friend once met a woman who earned more than either of us, about $250K/year. She was only happy when someone was spending money on her, either herself, but preferably some man. She was intent on meeting a man who earned at least as much as she did, but her chances were slim. She was mid-40's, unattractive and uninteresting. She believed that her $250K annual income entitled her to date a man making $400K+, but most of those men had far more attractive choices.
I don't think it's shallow of you. I think it's quite sensible.
In my opinion I think it's best, certainly for a long term relationship/marriage to be with someone of the same class/wealth level or perhaps higher.
Aside of class and wealth what makes things shallow is whether or not you want a loving relationship, a trophy husband/wife or a financial arrangement.
Don't be pressured by family or society to follow a certain path in that regard though and don't make decisions out of expectations or fear.
Not to sound rude but Just because you married a wealthy man does not mean you will always have the lavish life style. If you aren't smart with your financial choices or another example if you have the bad habit of buying all the expensive things that aren't necessarily needed you could end up making your man go bankrupt. I have met so many people that did not come from wealthy families but thanks to their wise financial choices they're very successful wealthy people now. If you want to marry a wealthy man only because you come from a wealthy family and for financial security I feel sorry for you it will not last long thanks to you because you are use to shop 🛍️ for all these expensive things that you don't need. If he goes bankrupt you are not going to know how to survive in the real world.
I don't know that it does. For me, I found that when I moved into a nicer home and neighborhood than I had ever had growing up, there was a certain level of discomfort with it. Sure it was nice and I had everything I needed, but it required different things from me than I was accustomed to. That being said, making that change can grow on you and sometimes be worth the journey, but in a way you can feel like you are missing some element that was "home" for a good portion of your life.
If you marry someone based only on that factor, I think I would feel differently.
No, there is a lot of wisdom in that. Being acquainted with people up and down the socio-economic scale is one thing. Marriage and the joining of family ties is quite another.
But don't look down in people because they weren't born into the same fortune as you.
It's here today but it could be gone tomorrow.
If you are very entrenched in the society lifestyle and/or your identity is intrinsic to your social status then I think it's best you stay with those who can relate best you.
Everyone discriminates, they just don't call it that. Everything we do, we make quick silent judgements. First impressions are a perfect example.
Who you date, or want to eventually marry or be with, will require a lot of discrimination and acceptance.
About your shallow question, totally depends on you. Better to make a decision that could lead to a better relationship down the road that accept and be resentful.
Just keep in mind is even if you marry your equal, one day that could be gone and you could be lower. Nothing is ever certain or guaranteed.
I want to marry Scarlett Johansson if that's not an option I'll settle for Kate Beckinsale? Is this shallow?
The point I'm trying to make is with what you just asked if that was your ONLY demand it would probably be do-able. But I'd have to imagine you'd want to be physically attracted to him as well as find him interesting. And you've chosen a very shallow pool in which to pick from. Because if he's got a lot of money he can have his pick of women out there as well.
Bottom line I have no chance with Scarlett Johansson or even Kate Beckinsale. And it's probably just as well. Scarlett has been married multiple times already. And it's find if you want a guy with money. Just expect to wait a while. And be prepared to make many concessions when you finally meet him.
At least she’s questioning herself on this. There is a tiny glitter of hope there.
But inherited wealth has a shitty way of making some people think “they are better and they earned it”. It really depends on the parents of course. However if her mother married into wealth (which is what I’m guessing) she has been given a BAD example. Very bad.
But rich guys often marry trophy wives. This increases the chances of them having pretty daughters. So depending on how this girl looks it can really impact what’s capable and what’s not.
But isn’t it funny that just as men we can NEVER expect to use our looks to get by in the world. Unless we look like a young Brad Pitt and are willing to marry a woman 30 years our senior or something it’s just not happening. We were taught young that we are more attractive by what we do vs. what we look like. This naturally makes most of us more independent and successful.
@backblueblack22 yeah. I was just pointing out I see how her being a woman she's attracted to wealth.
But man that is a small pool to draw from.
It's kind of like us being attracted to beauty. Or what we think is beauty. Because we guys are so drawn to a nice pair of ti** in our face. And some women are just born to seduce. But the reality is some real fully looking women actually provide a better match
Beauty is about 80% pure genetic luck and it fades. The other 20% is just dieting, exercising and dressing well. But even that is too much to ask for some women (e. g. fat acceptance movement).
But most wealthy guys had to do something spectacular to get that money. They made sacrifices, worked hard, are intelligent and used it, etc. I remember reading the millionaire next door and something like 84% of today’s millionaires are first generation.
An attractive woman is just lucky and extremely privileged. She can make a choice what to do with her looks.
But nowadays fuck as in fuck you to western women who chase men for money. Our society has bent over backwards to empower women to be independent. These women are just worthless, lazy and entitled if they want a rich man (like upper middle class isn’t good enough). Other than not being a fat ass, grooming and dressing semi decent they have a very low effort lifestyle.
I guess a challenge of being a rich guy is to find an attractive woman who actually loves him beyond money. If he’s attractive himself maybe he can find his pair. But the temptation to get the hottie via finances probably goes to their heads. Still it must be a real hollow feeling. No different then getting a consistent prostitute.
Not wanting to change lifestyle is not that shallow.. problem with your situation is that it actually sounds like you need a man with money to keep your lifestyle?
I mean it is nice if you can find a wealthy man who you also love, but in case you don't then what will you do? If you want money over love, will it make you more happy down the line? I am sorry for asking tough questions, I try not to judge. I don't care what you or other people in your situation will do, but I think it is good to think about it before narrowing down your pool of a potential partner so drastically.
I grew up with a guy who became an engineer, and he married a secretary at the defense contractor facility that he used to work at. He was making the equivalent in today's dollars, to $180,000 a year, and his wife complained that he didn't make enough.
She grew up in a well to do family where there were no issues with having to budget or watch their spending. Most people would be thrilled to have an income of $180K but she thought it wasn't enough. And no, she didn't work.
She even told him that he "should have become a lawyer, because they make a lot". I don't know why she thought that. In this state, the average lawyer makes less than $100K.
So, whether or not it is shallow is subjective. It is the reality of what is out there. How likely are you to meet a guy who makes say, an orthopedic surgeon's salary? And would you be happy?
Not shallow, per say. But it makes you entitled and weak minded.
Why would a man "on your level" want to marry someone like you, for example? What are you bringing to the relationship and his family, other than your lack of personality and entitled attitude?
These and more questions are why you'll not really get into any fruitful relationships. You're relying too much on what your family has done, and not enough on what you have done as an individual.
Who told you I don't have a personality? I'm very well-read, cultured, passionate about things like art, music, philosophy, politics, health.
I'm friendly and supportive to those I love.
You judge me because I have money?
Asker No he isn't judging you just giving you a smart advice but if you take it the wrong way that's on you. You posted a question he is free to ask what now. Not his fault your parents didn't raised you right.
I wouldn’t say you are shallow, but your family would be richer than him, not you yourself. You didn’t earn the money.
I'm also a medical student and will be making a lot of money through my hard work.
@asker understandable but even still, your parents money is not your money.
your dad a doctor?
I am impressed because most of the women I know that come from money try to be actresses. No talent but huge fake boobs and sleep their way into a movie.
@888thegreat it’s definitely impressing but I feel like if she has that medical stuff going on , she shouldn’t identify herself with her parents money. I come from money as hell but I work for my stuff,
what do your parents do?
My dad is a owner of a plumbing business. My mother is an RN
I remember you now. Is this your second ID?
ID? No this is my only account
did you have a pic walking on beach
Doctors dont earn an upperclass income. most doctors are broke and drive shitty middle class cars and owe money on their homes.
@asker you are also extremely dumb. A shame for all doctors.
@yyuu not necessarily. Wealth needs to be kept up on , so if you aren’t good with money and come from a rich family… well…
You are absolutely right , people should learn how to make wise financial choices. People think just because they come from a wealthy background they claim it as theirs. I see your parents did a really good job at raising you and reaching you how to make smart financial choices.
In my opinion if I fall in love then as much as I am encouraged to think practically, I wouldn’t care.
The thing is. Your ancestors made their money. What have you made entirely on your own without even taking a penny from them?
If you think about it that way the middle class boy is richer because whatever he has is his own, not passed down by his dad. He earned it on his own feet.
Girl you got intelligence, I bet the asker does not know how to manage her finances.
Picking a partner always has some shallow aspect to it. Just don't be foolish and wait too long to find a serious relationship with a suitable match. As you get older it will be harder & harder for you to get the guy you want... because he will say, "I don't want to marry a woman more fit than me. I just don't want to downgrade my lifestyle to a woman with less attractive looks than I'm accustomed to"
"Just don't be foolish and wait too long to find a serious relationship with a suitable match"
Yup... a few of my girlfriends wanted a more "suitable" man... waited and waited...30...35... by then they start to realize... their options started to become less than in their 20s... by 40ish... now they give up.
@midnightmoon05 I don't see married in you profile. I do see age 41 in your profile.
@888theGreat oh... never did my profile.
I met my ex. husband at 27 and got married 31.
Just here to kill time when bored. I am starting work next week, so just checking out some questions for fun before bedtime
@midnightmoon05. Yes. And it's not that it's impossible to find serious at older ages it will just be super hard. It's also not just because of looks but because a lot of these women don't develop personality traits that men find attractive. They used their looks as a crutch when they were younger to have all these short term relationships. That crutch doesn't support the weight anymore when you're older.
Nailed…
Outer beauty can only last so long.
Without outing time to care for inner beauty, it’s just a matter of time guys move on.
I am working hard building my daughters inner personality so to not be brain washed by social media like majority of the kids out there.
@midnightmoon05 Good idea. Make sure she has good male role model (s) somewhere in her life too.
It's definitely shallow by the commonly accepted definition of the word. But that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't do it. Only you can decide what's right for you and what will make you happy, and that's all that matters.
Now, whether you can land a man who meets your monetary requirements as well as those for physical attractiveness, intelligence, confidence, personality, etc., that is a different questions. And when the time comes to make compromises, as you most certainly will, the question of which requirements you will be willing to compromise on will be the true test of how shallow you are.
Coming from a working class background, having escaped it, and now back in it again due to divorce and economic instability in my industry, I would caution against it unless you are absolutely certain that you can handle a simple lifestyle or that you can get an ironclad prenuptial agreement to protect your assets in the case of divorce. The gap between the affluent and the rest of us is growing and it is getting difficult to make ends meet for a growing number of people.
It's just not a fully fleshed out idea. How would that downgrade your lifestyle? You still have your money and there's two of you now so that's even more money than you have now.
Also there's so many other aspects to a person it's kinda silly to only focus on the financial. You want a guy with money even if he treats you like shit?
If you were born like that, it wouldn't matter for you to do so. Because you would have funds for yourself meaning that wouldn't change.
Personally i feel like anyone who bases who like and can't based on money is shallow. Just don't seem like love and just personal relatonship's should be effected by papers the bank prints for people to buy a orange lol.
I mean, yes, its shallow, but you should marry someone like you. I wouldn't marry you, either because you are shallow. You should marry people that are like you. You wouldn't marry a man who makes more than what other people gave to you without you working for it, and I wouldn't marry a girl who didn't earn what she has never earned for herself. Nothing wrong with it, just not my thing. I prefer women who are responsible for their own success.
two shallow people making another 666 baby with no compassion. Next Hitler probably.
I would say so I mean sounds like you’re main criteria is where their bank account lines up. What happens if he makes a few bad investments and winds up broke. Now your main thing is gone and he suddenly is so attractive. So you’re just gonna divorce and find another bank account I mean husband
It's not shallow at all, every woman wants herself and her future kids to live a better life that she did and being with someone who has less that you will not guarantee you the life you want. It's better to not be with the person than to be with him and resent him for forcing you to change your lifestyle. It's a hard pill to swallow but it's the unspoken truth💯
But if the woman know how to make smart financial choices and not make her man go bankrupt to the point of losing their house. Stop living a fairy tale!
@Alwayreckles93 what I was saying is if a woman can afford to live in a high income residential area and have a vacation out of the country at least once a year, do you think she'd still be able to have that spare money to spoil herself when she has to contribute more than her man because she has more and her man has less? It's not a question of having a bugdet, it's a question of how much is your budget!
Oh yeah I am going to get advice from an 18 year old that has no life experience. No If you know how to manage your money wisely and not spend it on stupid stuff like cosmetics luxury clothing cars. Don't expect to live in a nice neighborhood people that do are in their 30's and 40's that knew how to manage thier money and made smart financial choices you will never see someone in their 20's living in mansion or nice residential homes unless mommy and daddy pays for it.
I am laughing at your comment , I am debt free and finish paying off my home and car lol Your only 18 where did you get the money to invest? 😂
You are out drinking clubing and bouncing from man to man like now a days people your age do. You young people don't know how to be responsible. Your parents had to help you invest where in hell is a teenager going to get the money to invest in real estate 😂 . You young people don't know the value of money.
Nah I can understand that I’d want someone around my wrath bracket as well so middle class.
Plus I don’t see to many people especially more well off ones wanting to come home a guy covered in dirt, sweat, dust n grain every night and always tired and beat down.
i don’t relate well to your kind of people anyways.
You said > I will inherit some land and have some money in the bank. My parents are funding my tuition for medical school, so I will also be making my own good money.
You're not "upper class" you're middle class. Some money & some land is peanuts to legitimate upper class take it from someone whose uncle owns 1,000 acres and has his own private helicopter in Colorado. That's upper class / rich. And just because your parents are funding your schooling you didn't say if it was for doctor or whatnot... so it could be a unregistered nurse & that's one of the cheapest educations in medical.
Sounds like you don't know what medical school is. I did not say nursing school.
We own a boat and have multiple villas, in both urban, countryside and seaside areas, as well as a lot of land. My family is richer than 98% of the population in our country. We're considered upper class.
You own a boat, multiple villas? More like a bunch of crack pipes & some cocaine. Keep dreaming sweetie. If you are actually so rich why are you on GAG and not actually doing something useful. ROFL.
You are both pathetic, worthless cunts. Extremely, incredibly dumb.
@Hallo626262 why don't you go suck a dog's dick.
@BlackBeauty90 Please stop that's animal abuse.
If you were born into money you should have a trust fund of your own. You won’t need your husband to maintain your lifestyle.
So you’ll be stuck with a selection pool of like <2% of all eligible dudes. You better be a hotshot supermodel, a racer in the sack, cook, clean, voluptuous, submissive, fit, sensual and be the best mother in the world. Because if you are not that, the man you want can get identical to you in about 60-70% of available women on the dating market. What makes you so special other than your size of entitlement?
Whoever you marry, you should use it as an opportunity to do more than maintain or increase your lifestyle.
There are higher Ideals to fight for and love for than money rewards.
I would never considering marrying a woman for her money unless she was willing to devote her life and our union and the children that come from it to the betterment of the Earth.
you should not judge a book by its cover
you never know the man who is middle class could be the next richest person
you never know if the man could really be into you not for your money
anyway
you should give a shot to a middle class person just because ur 'social status' is going be lower it doesn't mean you both can't grind
Is it shallow for your suitor to only be interested in you if you are very attractive and young? (That is what men at your level want. They know they will never see your money)
Of course you may want to consider getting to know someone before you marry and than decide based on their character and your actual compatibility... but hey it's up to you.
Why would you downgrade your lifestyle? It seems like you may not have that much money as you think. Why would someone who is wealthy care about if someone they find interesting is rich or not?
Unless you really believe that you can only love rich men, then something is wrong with you.
I don't want to be the breadwinner in the marriage
That's like me judging you for not being able to love fat women
I mean I don't like having financial power over him. I'm traditional and like to feel like he's the "man of the house" and is the one who has more power. It feels emasculating when I make more money than he does.
I guess traditional male/female dynamics are essential for me to feel attraction
He can make you feel like he is the man of the house in many other ways.
His manners for example would be another big thing no? If he acts like a fool, you just can't look at him as a powerful man in my opinion. Although someone doesn't have to be upper class to have good manners, which would make you feel attracted to him.
Both my partner and I are very traditional. We both value family and respect.
I love that he is a stay home husband, taking care of the house, the garden, caring for the kids while I work. To me, coming home to a home cook meal, eating together, raising kids together, going on vacations, taking me out on date nights, feeding me a spoonful of yummy ice cream... he is the real man in my heart.
Look for a decent, respectful, quality man...
If you are going to medical school, money shouldn't be an issue by then.
In my opinion no. It is incredibly difficult to be happy in a less luxurious lifestyle than what you were raised with. I grew up what I would call right in the very middle. But growing up that slowly went down and down until I would barely consider us middle class. And even that slow change was rough for me as a teen. It's a real thing and I don't blame anyone for it. But your personality and how you treat others shouldn't be blamed on anything.
It's completely ridiculous. Women want to be independent i thought. Why would anyone give them money.
Well when you think about it, once you have a lifestyle it is hard to give it up. Many of the people of Puerto Rico had to have therapy because they went without electricity for months after the hurricane, but a century and a half ago kings and Emperors had no electricity.
Yes it does make you shallow. If you are already loaded with ca$h, why do you require more?
Hell NO! Never settle!
80% men cheat/have extra marital affairs.
You would'nt want to be cheated on by a lower middle class pig.
He'll offer nothing apart from sex.
He'll downgrade your lifestyle, take you for granted and leech off your money. He will mistake himself for a king as a rich, beautiful girl married him.
80% of men are betas or 80% of men cheat? I guess it's all perspective
Oonnly idiots marry
Not at all,
I am in a similar position, though self made.
It is exceptionally hard to find or accept any arguments for downgrading (or, in fact, degrading) yourself - short of _wanting/ to _be_ Jesus - which is insane (I believe clinically as well).
It isn't a money thing but an IQ thing for me. IQ you can always turn into money and still have it - money you cannot turn into IQ. And if you could you would no longer have it.
So was I. Although , I made myself what I am today , not anyone else. Intrinsically tho , those who are blessed should share a little towards others worthy of some unconditional fortitude. Although , a woman such as ur self , I'd use as a shotput chuck.
I think it'd only ever be shallow if you were a hypocrite about it, like if a man with a higher level than you rejected you for the same reason and you called him shallow then...
Having standards are not shallow I believe
No you're a brat with mental issues as NO ONE from such a background would be on GAG. I repeat NOBODY who has such a background would be on GAG.
Why? Because they already know the answer you deranged mental case troll.
🤣🤣🤣
Maybe it makes sense. You want somebody from a similar background. Neither can accuse the other for marrying money, you will have similar values, have similar expectations. Just make sure you have a real loving relationship and not a merger.
It's just a cultural consideration. You are going to have a paradigm most guys don't/can't understand, so giving the brush-off might hurt some feelings, but they'll be better off in the long run than always jumping through hoops to keep you happy when it's basically impossible for them because of the vastly different perspectives.
Kind of... yeah.
Unless he is a homeless bum you really shouldn't even care.
If he works and supports himself then let it go.
This is how capitalism works, if you downgrade, you must be crazy lol. Some people are just romantics and are willing to put aside class boundaries and lifestyle for love.
It’s actually complete Normal for women to only marry upwards, it’s really evolutionary.
Rich men will marry whoever they want since they’re attracted to beauty and body,
Women however will marry upward because they’re attracted to men who will provide them the security and comfort they seek.
It’s kinda fucked that just based on what family someone is born into automatically makes them not worth your time.
I wouldn't be surprised if one day this girl makes her future husband go bankrupt and broke.
I don't know if it makes you shallow, your used to the way you live and changing your lifestyle drastically is understandable. I wouldn't wanna date someone that doesn't have a job so i guess its has some similarities. But if you can make enough that it doesn’t really matter it might be easier to find the right guy. Or even compromise on some things to make it work
There’s nothing wrong with that. In life we all want things that enhance our lives. You’re not shallow at all.
Yes. It's like refusing to date anyone less attractive than yourself, or refusing to date anyone who doesn't have as many friend as you do.
It may be shallow but its not surprising. People stick to what they know. So i wouldn't expect you to date lower.
I think that's pretty normal. The problem will be finding a guy of that status. Especially one who feels the same about you.
Hate to break it to you but you're not upper class. Your family might be but you're not. Until you , yourself, on your own make upper class you're not upper middle class. You more so classify as moocher.
No it's not shallow.
You like what you like.
Although i think just for money it's not a very good decision.
And as you look for a high value man are you also a high value woman?
No. However you should consider to be self-sufficient in matter of keeping your lifestyle. Why rely on finances of your potential partner? If you have all tools and opportunities to do it by yourself.
Not shallow at all, and actually dating well below your financial standards might drag you down. Imagine marrying into deep debt.
It doesn't make you shallow but it does make you hypergamous. By ruling out those men from lower socio-economic status, you're saying that you only want to partner across or up. Nothing wrong with that--just own your preference.
Some people are just so poor, that all they have is money!
Im not suprised that some rich people condider then upper class. There are countless millionaires who have made millions of dollars with crime. Are all rich people upper classs then?
Look at it this way. In your terms, upper class means rich, educated, great job. In my terms, the only people I consider upper class is those who risk their lives to save the lives of those unknown to them.
These highest class people are the reason peace, safety and security exist. These firefighters, cops, guards, body guards, life guards, cost guards, and the countless forgotten or fallen heroes who have or will be brave enough to stop a street fight or an assault on innocent people, even if it costs their lives.
One guy from my teenage years got stabbed for helping a woman from an assault. He was just a white teenage boy from rich family that saved a grown up poor Thai woman.
I despice people who consider themselves upper class because of their money, fame, popularity or power of influence.
It would be more shallow or deceptive to marry him knowing you will be dissatisfied. Women want security and money provides it.
Yes sadly most woman do not know how to make smart financial choices it is no where near why so many families go bankrupt ending making their home go on forclouser.
No I don’t think it’s shallow, it’s your preference. Also, you might fall in love with someone and it might change your mind.
Yes. But you likely will end up hurting yourself rejecting a kind and loving mr right, who wasn't born into wealth but would go through anything to feed your heart and soul.
your life, your choice.
You absolutely don't have to downgrade your lifestyle for a middle class man unless you're obviously after his money.
Becoming rich isn't as easy as wanting it and committing working 50 hours a week. If it was as easy like that, then more people would be rich.
Money is everything.
Being shallow is the least of your worries if the men you want don't want you. Hell we expect women to be shallow and have unreasonable standards.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions