Is having a very passive and submissive personality always a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

I think being passive and quiet and lacking assertiveness makes people take advantage of you and preview you as less capable. Is this always the case?

[HighlyVolatile]

It depends on the culture as I see it. Here in Japan, it can get you very far since almost everyone is submissive as characterized by mutual bowing. In Japan, when people step on someone else's foot, it's not uncommon that they both bow and apologize to each other as though one person is sorry that their foot was there and the other person is sorry for stepping on it.

In the US, I learned through culture shock and the hardest way that this is a very bad way to go there. People will tend to exploit it in non-homogeneous cultures where not everyone values submission and agreeableness. So in the US, I learned to be far more assertive and aggressive.

[HighlyVolatile]

Also because Japanese are so skewed towards agreeableness over assertiveness in public, there is tremendous emphasis on being able to read social situations and body language. We call the rare oddball who can't do this KY (kuuki yomenai):
https://cotoacademy.com/kuuki-yomenai/

>> If you’re missing out on body language in Japan, you’ll definitely feel discomfort in any social gathering. But being KY is not only about not being able to read body language. It’s also being unable to take a hint when you should. In Asia in general, people will not challenge you directly and will be very subtle. And if you’re really, really bad at reading the atmosphere, you might be called SKY: Super Kuuki Yomenai” (スーパー空気くうき読よめない) for “Killing the Mood” or “Spoiling the Atmosphere”.

It's vital to be able to understand how other people feel to navigate this culture and become a master of taking hints since people rarely ever say what they truly think or feel so directly to favor something more agreeable to say that protects other people's feelings. They show it through their body language instead.

[HighlyVolatile]

Funny stand-up routine on Japanese culture:
https://youtu.be/6s0KD0qFy28

[Tyrael]

It's not bad from the perspective on interacting with people and making friends etc, although some may take advantage. The real downside to lacking assertiveness will be you earning less money at your job, and paying more for things overall.

[Preston_Tatum]

Being shy and submissive doesn’t mean being a fool. Rather you learn life’s lessons from experience, or listen to older people. Use good judgment and you will go far

[Yellovv]

That's huge turn on for your partner for sure, because most of the girls want to be used so rough in the bed, because what is exackly give them pleasure...

[Asker]

I mean I’m everyday life. I just let people treat me like shit

[Yellovv]

I understand sexual way..

[Anonymous]

Only if it spills over into everyday life.

[Asker]

I don’t mean sexually I mean in everyday life

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't care for that.

[skyeee_]

uh yeah kinda