What if you and your boyfriend's personality really clash?

[Anonymous]

For example me and my boyfriend. I am extremely open, sensitive, & expressive. He locks everything in, keeps heaps of things private, & jokes & teases as humor. He teases & makes fun of people (sometimes patronizes) which is really bad because I am extremely sensitive, & I take everything he is saying literally, so I get hurt when he isn't meaning to hurt me. I tell people lots of things about me & my life, family, that sort of thing, & he doesn't like people doing that because he believed family is completely private & it is wrong to say anything ( I don't have a very good family so he can't understand why I tell people what happens, & he says he doesn't want to know because it makes him worry about me).

Our personalities really clash, & we are heaps opposite. What about you guys? Do you have the same sort of situation, how, & what do you feel about it? & what do you think I should do about my situation?

[Anonymous]

i'm going through almost the exact same thing. we've both never said anything about our personality clash in 2 years because of how much we love and care about each other and both want to be together so much. but it all came out last night and we just want to know how to work it out, after a long, long discussion we decided that until we figure out how to work with each others' different personalities then we shouldn't be together - the solution that neither of us wanted, but we don't know what else to do. I'm a really sensitive person and he's just the opposite, he jokes and teases me too and means none of it but I can't help but take some things to heart and it frustrates him so much because he feels like he can't say anything to hurt my feelings even if it's just a joke. I don't want him to feel like this at all I want to be able to joke around with him like he does with me, I've tried to toughen up but some things he says I just can't look past. if there's any way anyone knows how to help our situation please say. not being with each other is the last thing we both want. any tips on how to toughen up and not take things so seriously?

[Asker]

i really can't help you there, I have the exact same problem. You have to understand the causes of it. Low self esteem is very likely for sensitivity, or upbringing, look into how that may have affected your personality, & work on it from there

[Whereislove91]

Wow sounds intense! You guys are really opposites. Lol. Honestly, if I dating him and he keeps hurting my feelings and not really caring about me then I could break it off till he proves to me he does care about...whatever you are going through. I mean for him to say about you not wanting to hear about your family issue is pretty cold. I mean think about this. Is he the time of guy that you want to marry for the rest of your life? If not then he needs to change and act his age. I'm not trying to bash on your boyfriend but he does have lots to grow up on.

[shani982]

Scientifically you both have a good match.

Because in the Magnetic science, Similar poles repel each other, while opposite poles attract each other. I guess, since you both are opposite to each other, your life is gonna be interesting. you both will try to change and explore each other during your whole life. and it will keep your relationship spicy :P

I know, you will be thinking, what will stick you together with your boyfriend. then its the love, patience, respect and trust for each other. Things are always gonna work, when you have these 4 things in your relationship. and If this is not the case, then besides this personality clash, he will not be even your boyfriend.

[Asker]

Yes, and on a psychological level he might have liked me in the first place because I show the qualities he lacks. Also, we both talk very sophistimacated so we could probably talk to for literally days. We both have love, patience & respect, however I have trust & he does not. He is very insecure & I have a lot of guy friends so that drives him insane. He doesn't have many girl friends but I do not get bothered by it pretty much at all. Again, opposites!