Girls, would you date someone from work?

[Anonymous]

[MoniqueTLC]

I met my ex partner at work. We were together for four years. You definitely can date someone from work but there's certain etiquette that you should adhere to. We were in different departments which obviously made it easier and I later moved jobs but during the initial stages you need to keep it strictly professional, and not let romantic involvements get in the way or distract you or it can become extremely messy.

[MoniqueTLC]

This could help; www.theloveconsultants.com/.../

[Asker]

so i have to mention something, there's a girl i work with, we never talked prior, around my birthday she's like happy belated what did you do and etc, days and weeks in would say hi and make small banter convos but eventually she started talking less to me but being friendly with others in the store, also she is dating a guy from the same store... I want to keep my distance and keep it professional with her... maybe by you reading this it doesn't give many indications she likes me. But nevertheless, she is with a guy from the same place so I don't want to interfere, 1) it's rude and 2) it's awkward... Personally I have a tough time approaching women in the work place

[MoniqueTLC]

If she's already in a relationship, you can keep it on a strict friendship level, there'll be no pressure for anything more than just mates. Approaching women in the work place is definitely a tricky one, and a lot harder as opposed to the outside

[Asker]

here's the thing, because she talked to me already i would feel bad not even acknowledging her or saying hi, but at the same time i don't want to talk to girls i work with or girls in general who are in relationships, because guys are super protective and can be annoyed if other dudes talk to a girl he's with. I really don't know what to do. I'm not some weird, highly sexual guy around her. I keep professional by talking about work.

[MoniqueTLC]

Okay, to keep it professional and to not keep across as rude or anything, I'd suggest just keeping the convos to greetings? That way, you're not going to step on anybody's toes, you'll be polite, and stay professional. And of course, if you need to speak about work, you only talk about it without engaging in other conversations

[Asker]

if it were you, if you were with a guy but you found another guy you work with to be attractive and kind... would you be nervous, shy or cold to the guy because you're with someone?

[MoniqueTLC]

I would keep it platonic, polite and chilled. Only if I felt like he was trying to pursue something would I distance myself.
This will change from person to person. If she knows her boyfriend is a really jealous type, or he said something to her than that would cause her to create distance and not engage as much

[Asker]

i mean i'm not friends with her boyfriend but i'm nice to everyone in the store including him. Even with him, if i'm not doing much i will say, "hey do you need help?" or "have a good night or good weekend". I'm not trying to create friction between her and I. End of the day, Im in grad school and focusing on masters to complete and maybe a PhD afterwards, who knows. Plus im looking for another job that pays more.

[Asker]

Im not going to stick around with the company, the most i could see myself being there is one more year.

[Dinklex3]

Giving advice to others I'd say no, based on maturity level.
But I've done it before and it was great, regardless if the push back 🤷🏾‍♀️

[EmmaMary]

No absolutely not... It would be doomed from the start.

[Asker]

doomed?

[EmmaMary]

Yes Doomed.

[MayMai3]

I definitely would if the vibe was right. As long as we both respect work being work, it’s no biggie.

[Marianna546]

In my opinion it's unprofessional.

[Asker]

why do you think its unprofessional?

[Marianna546]

because coworkers should act like coworkers not like a couple... it is distracting

[Asker]

yea i deal with that at work, there's a girl who i think likes me but she's dating a guy i also work with, i dont want to pursue her, out of respect she's with a guy so i dont want to talk to her beyond "hi, hows it going" just to be nice.

[Marianna546]

oh interesting..

[Asker]

it is?

[Marianna546]

It is.

[Asker]

i meant if you clarify why