If a girl leaves me on read, should I do the same?

[Anonymous]

I mean, what if the girl used to be very chatty and interested, and now she leaves you on read? I'm not sure if I've somehow hurt the girl or if she is genuinely busy (like she claimed to be). Like ok, maybe she didn't feel the need to reply to my text (which didn't necessarily require a response)? But still, it's a bit rude.

When she replies, should I give her the same treatment (if her message doesn't necessarily require a response)? I still care about her, but I hate that she left me on read twice in a few days (not twice in a row, but still). I just don't want to loser her either.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

What about liking the message without replying? Would that be better/less rude than just leaving on read/seen?

[jhl_x]

I'm a firm believer that if someone doesn't reply within 24h, then the person doesn't care about the conversation. Phones are basically human body parts nowadays, so there's no excuse. Some might say that it's work and other life stuff, but there are moments like breaktimes, the way between home and the workplace and moments at home after doing house stuff and right before going to bed. On top of that, I've seen people who left me on read for weeks and that'd still post stories or stuff on other social media, and even see and react to stuff I post.

When this happens, I use the baseball rule of 3 strikes. I send no more than 3 messages to the person, and if there's no meaningful change in the interaction between us, then the message is already clear. I won't invest in the conversation anymore and pursue her. It's a tough decision, but that's how someone full of excuses should be treated.

[MoniqueTLC]

I think this shed some insight on why she may not have replied;
https://www.theloveconsultants.com/should-i-text-him-again-after-he-didnt-reply/
If you don't want to reply but you still want interact, then just like the message, however, it will depend on the dynamic of your relationship? are you friends? seeing each other? crushing?

[Asker]

We are friends!

[Asker]

But she told me, at the beginning of the weekend that she had been busy (because she was "preparing" stuff because she was apparently going to some events during the weekend). But then, today, she replied to me after 3 days (I sent her a message on Saturday). She apologized and said that she wasn't feeling a little off these past few days... So I guess she might have been right about not feeling that good, but I'm not too convinced about it. I replied to her this morning, and she still hasn't replied to my message (I haven't opened the app so I don't know if she has read it, though).

[MoniqueTLC]

Mmmm if she was genuinely feeling off, than fair enough. BUT if that's just an excuse to justify why she never replied to you than you should start thinking about matching her efforts. So, if she takes three days, you take three days. If she leaves you on read, you leave her on read. This will also show her that you're not just readily available to her whenever she 'feels like it' Even as friends, the relationship needs to have equal effort, and sounds like you may have a bit more investment in it at the moment.

Once she realizes this, she'll probably put in some more effort. But until then, don't lose her as a friend, just create a little space

[Asker]

I'm currently making her wait. She took 2 days to respond to my text. So I'm going to make her wait 3 days... Maybe even 4. I don't know, I'll see.

[MoniqueTLC]

Update me :)

[Marshymallow]

That’s petty. I’d either stop talking to them in general or maybe ask them about it

[HelloSofi97]

Address it and if it continues just leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

The more you ignore a girl the more she will chase after you.