Why do people always think successful women are “masculine?” My apartment is pink and I’m soft spoken and wear dresses but I’m a VP in a man’s field?

[Anonymous]

I’m not assertive or mean. I’m so quiet you can’t hear me from a short distance away. I am kind hearted. Half of my apartment is pink and girly, I love makeup and fashion. I’m ladylike and don’t curse, etc. I am not masculine in the least bit. I do what is natural to me. And I’m in the same position as high strung type A men as a VP. I’m smart if that helps? Maybe I’m a unicorn. 🦄 I also have plenty of masculine men who have high paying jobs throw themselves at me and have had relationships with them too.

[wheist9095]

My best guess is that since in America particularly the role for men in society has been instrumental rather than domestic or emotional that a lot of people tie masculinity to work. So you being very successful in your field, comes off as masculine to them because they think that men should be the ones to put all of their energy into their career not women. Some people go so far as to believe that women shouldn't exist outside of the home or any career they have shouldn't make them more money than their partner. It's a very old-fashioned worldview that some people still hold on to

[Anonymous]

They don't. I'm sure a few do, but if you are actually as you describe yourself I seriously doubt "people always think" you are masculine because you are a veep.

By the way, masculine men who have high paying jobs do not throw themselves at masculine women. Masculine men are not attracted to masculine women. So I guess I fail to see the problem here.

[Asker]

So they don’t see me as masculine right? See that’s confusing. I am successful but still want the man to lead. And feel like the man.

[Asker]

And him feel like the man ***

[Opinion Owner]

I think you sound great. What exactly makes you feel like guys see you as masculine?

[Asker]

No I personally don’t think so. Society just makes generalizations about women being masculine if she’s driven and has a very good career.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't see it quite that way. It's about personality and behavior, not success. There definitely are some women who behave in ways that are considered more masculine to compete with men in the business world. But you are not like that at all. Being successful doesn't make someone masculine; acting masculine makes them masculine.

[Anonymous]

People who put these labels are usually jealous. Even if you're slightly masculine, it doesn't matter. You've your pick of men and you're successful. You should be happy.

[Pegases]

Successful women aren't labeled as masculine. Masculine women are labeled as masculine.

[msc545]

A first-world problem looking for sympathy. Wear what you like, decorate as you wish, and behave as you want. Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Cause typically you gotta be a b**** to relieve the same respect as a man in business if you're a woman. It's an unfair double standard.

[Anonymous]

I’m like this too! Are you also a black woman? Because that automatically makes you “tough” and “aggressive” even if you’re the quietest one in the room who only wears pink. Women lose no matter what we do