Will I die alone because I'm really fat?

[IronBuild]

I am over 260 pounds. I am really fat and I look kind of funny too. I tried excersising but I coldnt do it and I have a food addiction. No girl ever looks at me and when finally a girl is nice enough to smile or say hi...when I started a conversation with her she quickly couldn't stop herself from laughing while making eye contact with her friend then she quickly ended it and walked away saying "bye now" she and her friend both laughed as they were walking away. I have not felt this humiliated since high school. Any suggestions?

Updates

+1 y

she couldn't stop herself*

Updates

+1 y

There are a few people who deserve BA so I'm not gonna give it to anyone so no one gets upset :)

[Anonymous]

Firstly, sorry to hear what you've been through.

Regardless of what's going on, yes you will die alone IF you continue this habit and not do something about it, and that's the last thing that I would want happening it you EVER! Bottomline is that you really can't be in a relationship with someone if you can't really take care of yourself. And it's very unfair for others to have to further worry and take care of you if you continue this habit.

However, with everything said, I'm very glad you address this issue and want to take action. I understand what you meant by you tried exercising but it didn't work. The way to combat it is actually to combat your food addiction and the underlying cause. It's an issue of addiction and it's psychological.

1stly, what are the things that you've been unhappy of? What are the things in life that have been bothering you? How difficult have you find those things to deal with? If you are unhappy with your family, you need to talk to them about how you feel and let it out.

2ndly, what is the pattern of you binge eating? What is your eating pattern? If you don't binge eat what will happen? Do you ever throw a tantrum?

All these questions help to think about what's really wrong, and then you MUST seek for professional help to deal with the issue (since it's both addiction and dealing with how people perceive you). Have lotsa lotsa support from your family and friends, and seek for help from professionals who gather all people who has similar issue as you and try to solve them all together. In that way, you don't feel alone, you feel like you have someone to relate to and you are embarking a recovering journey with other friends. You can check out the Oprah website to seek for help if you are from America. They have some sites and some professionals that you can turn to in person to solve this problem. Ultimately, be strong, realize that if you don't take action you ARE going to die because of it, this is the worst you can get, it'd be a long journey to recovery, but you are not alone and things will only be better after this :) Genuinely wish you the best of luck.

[IronBuild]

thank you

[ZenQueen]

work on yourself first, you must over come this food addiction it is crucial, make it you #1 priority you must find the drive and go with it, do it for your health, for a girl, or no reason at all. just do it. If people don't believe in you or don't support you, prove them wrong! As the pounds shed off your confidence will grow and grow, your face will look more defined and handsome, acne will clear up and you will GLOW and best of all you will have energy and LIFE and be full of happiness, being in shape changes your whole world. What happened with those girls was just one awkward situation in the journey of your life, it is time to forget about it and time to stop nurturing and loving yourself. don't think negatively and don't dwell on past regrets, you have the power to feel how you want to feel. For now force on planning tomorrow (not the end result) but force on how you can improve tomorrow (go for a mile long walk) plan some healthy meals, spend a good amount of time devoted to stretching every muscles in your body. don't force on the fine details just do the best you can do for your situation. Most important know that you are strong and with persistence and dedication YOU CAN DO ANYTHING:) good luck my friend!

[ZenQueen]

start* nurturing

[ZenQueen]

focus* on planning

[pepper01]

im sorry you got so humilated.. nobody should ever do that to anyone. first and foremost you're going to have to lose the weight.. not only is it a self esteem issue its also a health issue. you're going to have to eat more healthy and cut out all sweets, fatty greasy foods and alcohol. you need to work out 3-4 times a week for at least 45 minutes. if you want to raise your self esteem than you HAVE to put on work.. its not going to be easy but you will be a lot healthier and feel better about yourself. good luck!

[IronBuild]

ok thanks

[hopelessromantic1]

Hi, I completely understand what your going throw, I exactly now how you feel. I use to weight 270lb about a year and half ago. I use to feel the same way! How come no girl ever looks at me. I never got laugh at but I never got any looks. Mean while all my friends had girlfriend our were dating. I ask myself that same question, I'm I going to be alone forever? I lost 100 lb in a year and half. I'm going to tell you it's not easy but it's not hard either. The first thing you need to do is be positive, don't feel sad about yourself. You need to decide to change your lifestyle. I'm going to tell you that I'm skinning and muscular. I pick up girls anyever I go. I have a girlfriend now and I'm telling you if feels great having a girlfriend that just enjoys touching your body. I read someone Eles said look do matter. And they do matter but the personalty is what stays. If you want me to tell you how I lost all my weight and I can tell u. But I'm going to tell you it's hard losing all that weight, but the benefits are great. I hope this help you out

[IronBuild]

thanks I would like that actually.

[hopelessromantic1]

Ok, first thing is excersie. Do 30-40 of bicycle everyday because I was heavy I couldn't run. Breakfast oatmeal a slice of bread and 2 eggs. Only drink water. You can eat a small snack between breakfast & lunch. Lunch I leave it up to u, try to eat healthy salad with chicken with chilling or something. I use to eat lunch at university cafeteria. You can eat a snack betweenlunch to dinner. Don't eat after 7 that's the key! For dinner I use to eat beans with stack & a lot of salad. Do cardio everyday!

[kurozogo]

Well I wasn't ever over my ideal weight so I can't say that I know how you feel , but I was too skinny and I did not feel so good either , for me it was hard to eat as much as I needed to gain weight and muscle , because body really needs a lot of food for that , its harder to lose weight I know that , but if you want to you will be able to , just don't give up and don't worry so much I'm alone too and I did not have many girls that we went out ever , so its not just you and nobody really knows what will happen tomorrow . Cheer up and good luck on whatever you do .

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

You can always lose weight. Remember that you're never stuck where you are. You can always choose to feel sorry for yourself and wallow in your own pity or pick yourself up and do something about it. There's so many success stories of people who've lost weight and stuff. Just try to find the motivation. Good luck and I'm sure you won't die alone but even the hottest people can die alone because nobody knows how long they have to live on this earth.

[IronBuild]

true

[xzinax2]

well women usually go for guys who are fit,since that's a sign of health and of being a good provider and partner. I think you should lose weight not just cause of girls,but cause of your health too. to be honest I don't think I could be attracted to you,it's not about looks as much as it is about what your looks present(I could be attracted to a ''fat'' guy if he tries to keep healthy but can't cause of genetics)-i'd think you were lazy,didn't care about your health,and blamed everything on a ''food addiction'' when in reality you're just not strong-mined enough to quit eating too much. sorry for being ''too honest'' lol

[IronBuild]

ouch

[xzinax2]

i know lol I'm mean :( sorrryy

[Beabra123]

Your wrong. Men are sexier with some meat on them. I hate a skinny man

[Anonymous]

I know some people say that looks don't matter, but they do. I'm not saying you are gonna die alone or anything, but some people just have a specific type of guy that they are interested in. These are close-minded people. Maybe a girl won't be attracted to your appearance, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't like your personality (that sounds cliche but its true). There is someone out there for you, I'm sure, but you just have to take the risk and talk to girls. The worst thing they could do is reject you or laugh at you because of your appearance, but so what? Why should someone that insignificant hurt your feelings. Just hold your head up high and move on to the next girl. It's gonna happen one day. Don't lose hope!

[IronBuild]

thanks

[Anonymous]

Realistically, I think your size is going to make it difficult for you to meet people.

Personally I wouldn't date someone who was overweight because I think it shows that they have no respect for themselves & their body (same as smokers and people who drink a lot).

But there are a lot of people who are overweight and/or not all that attractive and still in great relationships. Obviously their are elements of their personality/interests/attitude etc that are attractive.

I think you need to either lose weight or really work on ways that your other assets (personality, talents etc) can shine through and attract people's attention.

[IronBuild]

good points

[girl_power111]

well... work hard to get in shape...nothing is impossible man. don't o it just for the girls...do it for yourself. there is no other way out.

[IronBuild]

thanks for the tip :)

[Beabra123]

Skinny guys aren't for everyone. Half these women on here who have given their shallow responses make me sick to my stomach. Women are attracted to confident men. As long as you love yourself and are comfortable in your skin the right girl will come along. I personally prefer big men. They tend to be more real. My cousin just married aa heavy guy and yes its true love. She has always date heavier men. Don't let anyone make you think you have to change who you are because of so ignorant bitch. let your personality show and you will find your match.

[Quadrophonic84]

No one knows what's going to happen to you, and the only one who can control it is you.

I've been through what you're going through. How tall are you?

[IronBuild]

5'8

[Quadrophonic84]

Well, you would have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to change, I'm proof it's possible. I went from 225 down to 170 in about 9 months back when I was 17/18. The trick is not to restrict yourself totally from things you enjoy. It's about compromises. For instance, I cut out all soda, as much bread as possible, and stopped eating after 9pm (if I was going to be asleep by 12). I'd still let myself enjoy other things not listed there.

[Quadrophonic84]

The exercise aspect doesn't have to be insurmountable either. All you need to do is get your heart rate elevated for 15 minutes before you are in a state of burning stored energy (fat). That means if you go out and speed walk (and eventually jog) for 45 minutes, your body will be directly burning stored fat for 30 minutes. If you want to lose 50, 60, 70 pounds, then you've got to break it up into smaller goals that you can reach in weeks.

[IronBuild]

ok thanks

[Quadrophonic84]

For instance, my first goal was to get to 220 from 225. When I made it I felt incredible and then I sort of become "addicted" to seeing the scale needle go down (which can be dangerous for some people). A single jump of 60 pounds is almost impossible. But 12 5 pound jumps isn't. Send me a message if you want to talk more about any of this.

[ksmbutt]

really? you never make any eye contact with girls? honestly, I find that hard to believe. also, I genuinely believe that you will find love one day. but until then, keep your chin up brother

[IronBuild]

what do you mean I never made eye contact with girls. I didn't mean it literally...it means no girl ever looked at me a certain way

[Little-Hippie]

When your weight starts bothering you enough, you'll put in the legwork required to make a change.

Until then, I'm forced to assume you're perfectly fine with your size.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

No, plenty of fat guys have girlfriends. But being fat is in fact something you can change