Girls, Why do so many females I meet quickly lose interest and disappear?

[Jimrat86]

I was enjoying a back and forth of great banter with this attractive blonde girl about a week ago. It got to the point where we were basically sexting.

I made plans to get a hotel in her area, and the two of us would meet up and likely have sex after all the build up.

Out of nowhere, she stops responding. Actually, she started several arguments that were completely unwarranted before ghosting me.

This is literally the 3rd time a woman has stood me up, and I don't know what kind of behavior on my end is leading to these bad outcomes over and over.

Is it typical behavior to act like this, and how do you suggest I adjust what I am doing to stop this from happening to me?

[NotTacocaT6969]

Sounds like mistake #1 is seeking sexual contact before so much as going on a date.


I met my boyfriend online and the reason he’s my boyfriend now is that he behaved respectfully even after we had met several times.


The dozens of men who felt the need to say sexual things got left on read.


Could one of the gross sexters have been a better partner?


Maybe, but if there was a decent guy among those sext attempts, he fucked up his chances by acting like a slut. 🤷‍♂️

[Jimrat86]

Well, first of all, she explicitly stated that she was only seeking something casual.

The exchange of sexual texts is something I don't dive into until I know she has given me consent to traverse that rabbit hole, and she plays a role here too. It takes two to tango.

I don't think sexual desire and relationship potential are always mutually exclusive either. Especially, if it is carried out respectfully.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Those are details that would have been useful in the description.

Why are you surprised that an overly-sexual woman who was honest about only wanting something casual ended up using you for sexting and then ghosting?

That’s pretty normal behavior from horny internet strangers. 👀

[NotTacocaT6969]

“Normal”, not good. Being treated that way sucks and I’m sorry it happened to you.

You’re reading too much into it. This isn’t your fault, at least not this time based on your new description.

[Jimrat86]

Thanks, and its ok. I can understand why it needed some context. But actually making plans with someone then ghosting is seriously not ok...

I just can't believe there are so many women that still do this...

[NotTacocaT6969]

My rant about horny internet men applies to horny internet women too.

It should be a warning sign to you as well not to get too attached, invested or get your hopes too high.

With dedication, you’ll eventually meet a decent woman. But you’re going to find many more toxic women along the way.

[Jimrat86]

I agree.

Might you suggest a platform with more serious-minded folk then?

[NotTacocaT6969]

Every platform is littered with people who want to play games.

Okcupid is the one I used.

[Jimrat86]

I just signed up for okc too. I heard it tends to have more swrious folk these days. It would be quite refreshing to connect with a nice girl who is actually mature and interested in something beyond a pen pal arrangement for once...

[NotTacocaT6969]

There are bots on that site to watch out for.

But, they’re so poorly designed that the female bots try to catfish female profiles. Lol

You can tell they’re a bot because their replies to messages make no sense.

[devilish-cutie]

its really hard to say just by this

but it could be:

- some people just look for banter, attention and fun on dating apps without real intention to meet

- some women may flirt with you but doesn't mean they want to have sex with you right away, maybe they actually want a relationship

- id suggest to look at what this woman "unwarranted arguments", if you think properly about them there might be real clues what you migt need to change

[Jimrat86]

One of them was saying that my outfit in one of my profile pictures didn't match...

[devilish-cutie]

well obviously not that one, im sure there are better arguments and you know them, so face those

[Jimrat86]

Not really in this case. She must have just gotten turned off and when that happened, instead of being honest, the behavior altered. Pretty immature, if you ask me.

[devilish-cutie]

Well you said it happens to you a lot, shouldn't focus on that one case

[melanieeeB]

From this alone: I see it as, you only seek sex.
I would have ghosted you just by you starting sexting lol

Maybe in future, ask someone out on a date... unless sex is really all you want, but then make it clear right in the beginning and search for someone who is also just interested in casual sex

[Jimrat86]

I asked out multiple people with no sexual interactions and got the same results. Plus, wanting to have sex is perfectly natural, and plenty of women only want it too. Also, I state that I am open to casual or serious, so...

[misfittoy]

because its probably just a fantasy, time passer, they like the attention etc and have no real intent on meeting up for anything

[Jimrat86]

Do you think the dating apps are even their go to for sex then? I know other guys who are actually successful with them.

[Jimrat86]

Another thought. If this is the case, what are some res flags to watch out for with these flaky people?

[misfittoy]

way too hard to tell with anyone these days. if they change plans last minute, contact starts to dwindle like they talk but it slacks off. i honestly dont use them but i have friends that do use the apps, its a crap shoot literally, just be safe you never know who might actually show up