Why do I feel like I don’t deserve better?

[Anonymous]

In my head I know I do deserve better. But I don’t get give it to myself. For example, if a started talking to a guy and he seems great. I get this feeling of being scared and I’ll pull away. I put myself in bad situations and then hate myself for it. (I know I’m to blame because I chose what to do) but I can’t figure out why I feel like I don’t deserve it.

[kylee2437]

Don’t get offended, but it sounds like lack of self esteem, self care etc. you know you deserve better and you should want better for yourself. Wanting better for yourself will make you be able to become more vulnerable in your relationships. Sounds like some therapy sessions would do you justice because lack of self worth and self esteem is deep seeded

[Asker]

I actually do go to therapy. I just been hurt a lot in the past. But my self esteem issues have always been bad since I was younger.

[kylee2437]

Yeah self esteem issues usually come from childhood traumas. Surprised your therapist hasn’t gone over that bc mine reverted right back to my child hood after just a few sessions

[Asker]

I believe we are getting to that but I had other things going on currently and some trauma we talked about

[kylee2437]

Yeah it’s very deep seeded and actually quite interesting to learn. Just know that you deserve the very best! Don’t settle for situations that don’t make you happy, life is too short

[ambayside]

A simplistic initial response.

We all go through life making decisions about how to deal with ‘problems’.

We then go about proving our original decision over and over again.

It sounds like you decided something about yourself or guys or both a long time ago and that shapes your experience of your life.

From this place, taking risks becomes too scary.

if you can look at your view of yourself and guys and recreate that consciously as you want it, then take actions like it’s true, you will experience something new.

An honest friend or mentor can support you.

[BJP21]

Go with your intuition, and stick with it if it feels right. That little inner saboteur can use a kick in the ass.

[SlothySlob]

In what kind of sense, "he seems great"? In a materialistic way?