I like this girl at my uni for 4 years now, I tried to get to know her and to let her know me... I started helping her only and not anyone else in the clinics, talk to her. I told her that she is beautiful, that I love helping her and that she is the best one I know and that I love being with her. I tried to sit and talk to her very often in the past month. But, to be honest I always feel like I am forcing myself on her... She is a really nice, shy person. Everytime she sees me she just says hi. She never initiated conversation with me, She didnot accept nor denied my following request on Instagram (Even though she is very active on it), she never came and helped me and She didn't even ask me how I doing when I ask her. I want to know if the problem is in me or what and How Should I act in such situation?
P. S: One of my friends told me that he was just trying to be her friend and When they talked on whatsapp she seemed clingy and she talked too much.
I really need answers cause it is a really frustrating situation.
She is not interested in you. You gave her already plenty of signals and she never took her turns. You made time for her, created situations where she can talk exclusively to you, you shown her she can count on you for help and she knows you are interested (you told her basically). So she doesn't really lack the tools to make a move of any sort, yet she isn't moving a finger. Don't be fooled by "she is shy", no girl is so extremely shy they don't even accept an IG request or initiate 0 contacts at all, if they are interested. She knows you are into her, she knows she is not into you, and what she is shy about is only to stop your attempts... Do not overthink or find biases, and require -always- reciprocation from girls. If they don't make any move after your initial ones, don't add more. Wait always for their participation before doing more otherwise you waste yourself and end up obsessing, other than looking desperate and clingy. Girls absolutely make moves too, don't think they are like unaware princesses with no clues about what to do if they like someone.
If you are trying to understand what is wrong in you and why she talks too much with others but 0 with you, most likely it's not because of your appearance but because of the value you sell yourself for, or other personality traits that scream lack of confidence, clinginess, etc. If a girl doesn't respond to your first (first!) attempts, and you reward that silence with giving more and more, well that means you are selling yourself cheaper and cheaper with a big notice to advertise that. Let girls understand they must win your attention, by waiting always for their signals in return before giving anything more. Also, the more you put effort in something, the more you value it. The less, the less... So let them put effort too.
Looks to me as if she is not interested in getting a deeper relation with anyone at work.
Since she does not initiate any contact besides saying "hi", I presume that she prefers to be left alone but that she is just polite by returning a greeting.
She is obviously aware that you are trying to hit on her since you give her compliments. She is probably too shy to say anything by fear to hurt your feelings. While she appreciates you helping her, she does not want to go further into a relationship for the time being.
I suggest that you give her the space that she needs and if she wants to get closer to you, she will initiate the move. Good luck.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
The point other comments didn't underscore is that even if you could have had chances with her, your behaviour would have turned those chances into ashes.
You seem at the beginning of the beginner stage when it comes to how to work a relationship with a human/how to help a woman's interest in you. There is no sin to that; however, if you don't study and improve on the subject, you will never get a woman interested in you (outside of miracle-grade events), and develop some theory based on hypothetical faults (yours, or the women's) which aren't there: it's just the wrong method being employed.
It’s possible she is not as interested in you as you are in her. It might be hard to deal with but you can find other girls if you want to try dating someone else.
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