How do I encourage a private person to share juicy personal details about themselves?

[Bethany22]

Does anyone here have a knack for getting even the most non-sharing types to start spilling out really personal stories about themselves? Is it a skill that takes practice to develop?

[RavVid]

I can't say I do but a sympathetic ear tends to bring it out at times. Plus reflecting back to something previously. The computer program Eliza was very successful at getting people to talk to it. It wasn't complicated. It would say tell me more about xyz. If it couldn't say more about xyz it would jump back to a previous answer abc or say do go on. So I am thinking that is possibly the basics.

For myself I don't really want to hear a lot about other peoples shit and far less want to talk about my own. Generally I get told more shit than what I want to hear and that's mostly because I am a empathetic listener.

[Bricealan]

Don't know if you can. A college classmate, in her apt. asked me a very personal sexual question about my, then, girlfriend, re: or sex practices. I asked her the same question, and her reply was: ""Don't ask such personal questions"! I was really angry, and told her to, then, NOT ask me such a question if you are not willing to 'expose' yourself sexually. That shut her up and she admitted that she and her boyfriend did the same.
Not sure if that answers your question?

[Bricealan]

I personally, resent people asking really personal question like that unless they are open about their own personal sex life.

[Cynicaldreamer]

As a private person myself, I will tell you if they're really a private person? Good luck. People like that don't open up for a reason: it's because we have trust issues, or know if we say something, people will talk about us.

It takes trust for them to open up, and online if you've proven they can trust you (ie: they see how you treat others, or do you tell other people's secrets).

In other words, work on building up a trust with them, don't screw up said trust, and with time, they'll slowly open up to you.

[Guardian45]

Do you trust me?

[Venting101]

People also use certain things you say to throw them back in your face and to hurt you. I massively screwed up and done this to someone I once knew and it is something I will deeply regret for the rest of my life

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Guardian45 I barely knew you outside of exchanging comments on here so... no.

Don't take that as an insult though. It's exactly that: I don't know you well enough to trust you yet

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Venting101 Yes! That too. I've had supposed best friends tell people, including my mom, things I told them in confidence!

As soon as someone burns my trust? That's it. I no longer confide in them. That's why I'm wary who I open up to anymore

[Guardian45]

And you blocked me!

[Venting101]

@Cynicaldreamer you just made me see that I have very likely burned any trust that was left with this person and that I have to stop holding out for hope of ever seeing and talking to them again. Thank you

[alcorriher]

i woudnt just to avoid us being uncomfortable and the whole situation being awkward. if she wants to share, she can if not thats ok

[FilmGuy93]

People tell me all kinds of private things, but they do it because I don't ask them to and they know I'll keep my mouth shut.

[JPresidente]

You need to ask them a lot of questions and in your questions, ask them to describe what they mean and to share how that made them feel at that moment. Be careful though and don't pepper with questions, instead give them something about yourself that they can relate to.

[pizzalovershouse]

It should only be done with close friends if it's about them an personal self sense people use things to make good people bad as they do on social media to siber bully people an if it's to embarrass bad people then some one will always find dirt on them an they deserve what they iv3 back if a cruel or mean person

[xoxosilentgirl]

Im the private person. The only thing to get them speak up is being their trusted person. Once they trust and think you don’t violate them in any way your set. Also try midnight/2am convo, at that time people are more vulnerable and honest

[milkov]

I do this a lot whenever I'm talking to someone. The key is to just keep talking and have a very interested look on your face. That'll make them share more.

[Venting101]

There needs to be complete trust there. The person also needs to be able to feel safe with the person they are sharing such details with. Never push them to open up and share anything

[OfMiceandMen]

Not sure you can just start coaxing someone who is very private to start spilling the beans.

You may have to spill some secrets first, to see if they bite.

[DiaperedSissygirl]

Hey I'm new and her it goes well I'm 36 year old guy who always growing up felt I was different and when I confesses to my girl that I always wanted be a Babygirl and dream of it first she like ok and we'll I started trying to wear panties dresses at home and she did not like it at first but we got into it now she calls me faffota queers and names all the time and everything in life she blames on that any help guys how I can fix this u can't help how I feel

[weysally]

I have tried talking to many on here, nice when they start but soon button up, why I don't know,

[Bricealan]

One girl on here (Surprisingly) was very candid to me, which really was an eye opener, and I told her that "we have never had a conversation like this", and she said "You caught me at the right moment.

[AviatorTom]

Share a juicy personal details about yourself and ask them if they would like to share one of theirs.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Maybe start telling them your private stuff and see how they come around to you.

[Butterflyflyhigh]

How? Open up yourself first, be truthful n sincere then be a good listener, don't expect too much just let it flow... Gaining trust is the hardest part but who knows 😅

[Andres77]

They’d have to have a very good reason for sharing and they’d have to be able to trust you. It’s delicate and vulnerable. Not a game

[Jerre]

Think if you start talking first, open up with things you don’t normally talk about, they will follow your lead and be more open with you.

[FunkyMonkee]

Threaten to share that video of them fucking their dog with the world!

[Luopio27]

There is not enough detail to navigate through. I dont know your motive, your end game or your target type.

[LiamJHayden]

Most would have to reach a level of comfort and trust to do so.

[Iron_Man]

Private people don’t do that unless they really know you well

[CaptainSmartass]

Truth serum. I find it to be most effective.

Simples..

[Damian69]

It takes time. They won't tell you unless they trust you

[Jamie05rhs]

To accomplish that, you first have to be trustworthy (and not toxic).

[wafflemakerman69]

You shouldn't that would be terrible if you did that.

[NathanDavis]

give them your juicy ones first...

[dustybiker]

Private people tend to push nosey people away.

[katiesmuff]

Generally you don't

[melanieeeB]

I guess they either do or don't

[Guardian45]

It's called persuasion

[Jennz6]

Tell your secrets first?

[Jennz6]

@Bethany22 I can only go in detail with a private message and yes juicy details

[LemiaOfThunder]

I expect they keep it in their inner circle.

[OddBeMe]

You can try but we won’t budge.

[CubaPirate]

Slowly and tactfully

[krin_m]

Yeah, you need to earn their trust !

[Anonymous]

Get to know them first, so they can trust you.

[tallblondejohm]

Just ask me