Why do people try emotional manipulation on others? It only works on the weak (easily influenced) & annoys the strong (not easily influenced)?

[Anonymous]

I have just begun dating this guy and he is trying to be emotionally manipulative. Making comments like 'do you really miss me', etc. when I say I do and such

This comes from the fact we couldn't meet up this weekend - like he kept pushing - due to my having hurt my leg & a medical issue with one of my parents I'd had arranged months prior. We merely rescheduled to this weekend instead.

Like I said we've just started dating, it's far too soon to develop any serious / strong feelings. I do like him quite a bit & I'm not dating others (I'm a one guy sort of gal).

But as someone who isn't emotionally "damaged" or "weak" (by this I mean I'm not a doormat partner) his attempts at emotional manipulation are more irriating than endearing.

[kylee2437]

It comes from insecurity. He thinks there’s a hidden agenda behind you having to cancel instead of realizing life just happens sometimes. Maybe you should talk to him and say “hey it seems like you overthink quite a bit” if he can’t come to terms it’s something he needs to work on, then I would cut him off because he shouldn’t guilt you because you have a life outside of him

[Asker]

See because we're so new I tried to circumvent insecurity by sending him a snapshot of the x-ray / ultrasound request with all confidential information removed so he didn't think I was lying. I work in medical, I've done it for over a decade, and I'm long since become mentally adept at putting others at ease but at the same time I'm not a "pushover" so his behavior's a bit... irre

[kylee2437]

@asker I would still talk to him. Be direct. Admit that you sent him a snap to ease overthinking however fair is fair and meanwhile you are easing his overthinking , it’s something he also needs to work on. I am only saying this because I am also an overthinker and have been told that it’s something that needs to be broken down with counseling.

[kylee2437]

Or if it’s too early maybe view it as a red flag to move on. He needs to admit that he has an overthinking problem and unless he does that, it’s not going to get better

[Asker]

Thank you, will do.

[AmyMasters]

Hmmm he sounds insecure. As someone who was this way a while back because I was hurt by my ex. It caused more damage than I understood. I would talk to him about it but I would also be clear and direct. He doesn’t seem like he is in a good place.

[Anonymous]

if you hurt your leg and had prior obligations to your parents then the hell with him that's his problem. if he's already acting like a whiney bitch this soon then dump him and find somebody else otherwise his bullshit could get worse

[Opinion Owner]

worse later on down the road

[Joker_]

@degenerate knows all about this topic