This girl is confusing me, what does she want?

[Anonymous]

Before I get started, I'm gonna give a little bit of info. I'm 22 and she's 19. We both go to college together for Film and TV productions and have had classes since last term and this term together. We were partners in our last semester and we're partners this semester. We'll call her Kelsi

Last term we had to do location scouting for her short film. We walked to a place and she was texting on her phone. After we got there and was walking back, she tripped and I caught her and asked her if she was okay. Then all of a sudden, her ex just pops up out of nowhere from a classroom. Those two go off and talk for 5 minutes. They hug and she walks back. She tells me that her ex wanted her to go with him but she said no because she was walking with me and that she wouldn't leave me cause we're friends. Then one of our classmates asked me if we were dating cause he liked her.

(Look at the updates cause there's a few more paragraphs)

Updates

+1 y

This term we get in the same class and now things are really weird. She tells me that her ex thought me and her were a thing and hated me because of it. When we're standing up in class while our instructor shows us stuff, she'll stand near me or try to stand directly infront of me. If the instructor says to grab equipment, she'll follow me. She'll ask me to stay after class to help her with stuff. If I'm standing and there's an open seat next to her, she tells me to sit next to her.

Updates

+1 y

She'll playfully hit my arm or try to touch me. She'll tell me to text her. Okay cool. So she likes me. That's what it seems like right? Well read the next paragraph.

So I'll text her, no response. I'll call her no response. This is a normal thing. Where she'll act very flirty in class or in person but will not respond to me in text. I'm an introvert and also take ADHD medicine so in class, I'm not talking and basically just silent.

[quaranta]

I read all your paragraphs and your comments under replies too.
Aside from any conclusion, the first thing that is evident here is that you are overthinking, and I'm not saying it to mean you shouldn't, but to take it as a symptom that you can't continue like that and the more you play her game the more you're getting overly confused, wasting a lot of energies into solving this enigma, and honestly, disrespected as well because she is not giving you coherent signals and is manipulating you into playing under her rules (gets mad if you don't talk to her). Plus, the more you spend energies in that, the more you value her, even though she isn't giving enough back. This can make you artificially obsessed after a while.
So I think regardless of the conclusion it's time to break this trend and to require respect.

By reading this story I would think she is into you but is too awkward and full of problems to admit it, maybe she has trust issues or maybe she is too proud, whatever the reason (it doesn't matter the reason) she has something that stops her from going further with you. Maybe she doesn't even "like" you but likes the attention, only. And being jealous of Kate and doing revenge by showing you she has now other new guys around, doesn't grant she wants a relationship with you. All it means so far is she wants your attention and this is a very proven fact, but that's all we have.

Now that you gave her enough attention but she isn't giving you the same (ignores your texts), if you want to explore a next level with her you should probably stop waiting her to take the next steps because she is going nowhere with her 0 communication skills. So you should force her. You should ask her out in person, face to face, to which she is forced to give an answer because it's not like texting where she can ignore. Be confident, not insecure or desperate, not nervous, be like casual and confident like you know what you want and what you offer. Ask an answer, don't let her go for other topics around it or to go like "I will think about it", because in all this time she surely had plenty of time to "think about it", for sure she pondered these things already several times and if you let her go to her style again it's gonna end nowhere, in vaguity. So take her in a place where she is calm and not in a hurry (so she can't use excuses to leave to not answer) and do that. If she refuses the invitation, this odissey will finally finish and you shouldn't accept further mixed signals from her afterwards (she might get suddenly clingy and desperate if she sees you are moving on, and you should resist against that because that is the type of abuse and playing I would expect from her). If she accepts, good. If she accepts but then ghosts you that would be the worst case scenario because that would be massively disrespectful and I think a deal breaker in continuing any minimum social contact with her of any sort (never reward such abuses, require minimum respect always).

[Asker]

Thank you for reading all of the responses. But I don't actually want a relationship with this girl at all. I am attracted to her physically but I value personality WAY MORE than physical attraction. Her personality is something I'm completely turned off by and would not near me as I value honesty and direct communication.

I'm mainly focused on completing the final. After the final, I was gonna just tell her that I don't want to continue communication. Even cordially for future classes.

In terms of the short film, I was prepared for her to act this way so I already had someone else working on formatting my script in the proper way for me. This new person named June said she'll be done with it by today.

[quaranta]

Well that is also a great approach, actually better than what I thought!

[HelpMe06]

That’s so strange because she’s acting like she’s likes you in person but her not responding to your texts says otherwise. Only thing I can think of is she’s flirting with you in public maybe to make her ex jealous. Is he in any of your classes where she’s doing that? Or are any of his friends?

[Asker]

No he's not in any of my classes. There's also a few paragraphs but gag wouldn't let me send them. It adds in way more context and makes things even more confusing

[Asker]

If I don't say anything to her, or walk up to her and talk to her, after class she'll ask me if I'm mad at her or annoyed with her. I tell her no. She says that if I ever need someone to talk to, she's always there for me. Btu when I text her, again, no response. This goes on the entire term.

Okay so that's strange. But then on days we don't have that class, I go talk to my other friend in the lounge area of the college. My other friend we'll call Kate. Kelsi works at the college as a receptionist. One day while I'm sitting down talking to kate, I see Kelsi staring at me. For a good bit. I can't see her full expression but from what I thought I could see, she looks like she's angry. The next day, Kelsi removes me from Snapchat. I brought it up to her but she said she's sorry she didn't want to upset me. It's because her ex kept assuming we were a thing. I also called her out for saying she wants me to text her but when I do, she doesn't. She says she's sorry but she overthinks a lot and doesn't to annoy me. She mentioned Kate and said she thought I had a girlfriend. I told her I'm single. A couple days go by and after class, she ask if was "going to see my girl Kate". I told her no she's not my girl.

[Asker]

Now in class, she talks to this other dude but only really ever when I see. Like sometimes she'll walk out of class with him but before I do, she says "Alright bye I'll see you next time" to me before leaving with him. She says that she's only talking to him because he's in her other class but isn't friends with anyone in class but if I'm near, she'll talk about them hanging out after class. Then one of the only times she ever answered one of my calls (We're partners for our final exam which requires working together to do a lot of stuff so I was trying to schedule time together to practice), she says I called at the perfect time cause she got off the phone with a guy from my other class. She talked about how they hung out one night in his car and was playing games. Before they left she gave him a half heart and he gave her a full heart.

But she continues to do the same stuff and flirts with me. And when she looks at me in my eyes, her pupils dilate and it looks like she's giving me love eyes

[Guy13]

Deal wit her in person only, Stop with texting.

[Crystal08]

Honestly, I have a feeling that she's playing or maybe she has some problems ig. Like not texting back, not calling again... why don't u try to talk it out with her?

If she is being confusing even after that, ghost her. Literally just ghost her. If she approaches you, say "nothing's wrong, I am just busy." Make casual talks here and there but let her be. Welp, that's my take...😌

[Asker]

If I don't say anything to her, or walk up to her and talk to her, after class she'll ask me if I'm mad at her or annoyed with her. I tell her no. She says that if I ever need someone to talk to, she's always there for me. Btu when I text her, again, no response. This goes on the entire term.

Okay so that's strange. But then on days we don't have that class, I go talk to my other friend in the lounge area of the college. My other friend we'll call Kate. Kelsi works at the college as a receptionist. One day while I'm sitting down talking to kate, I see Kelsi staring at me. For a good bit. I can't see her full expression but from what I thought I could see, she looks like she's angry. The next day, Kelsi removes me from Snapchat. I brought it up to her but she said she's sorry she didn't want to upset me. It's because her ex kept assuming we were a thing. I also called her out for saying she wants me to text her but when I do, she doesn't. She says she's sorry but she overthinks a lot and doesn't to annoy me. She mentioned Kate and said she thought I had a girlfriend. I told her I'm single. A couple days go by and after class, she ask if was "going to see my girl Kate". I told her no she's not my girl.

[Asker]

Now in class, she talks to this other dude but only really ever when I see. Like sometimes she'll walk out of class with him but before I do, she says "Alright bye I'll see you next time" to me before leaving with him. She says that she's only talking to him because he's in her other class but isn't friends with anyone in class but if I'm near, she'll talk about them hanging out after class. Then one of the only times she ever answered one of my calls (We're partners for our final exam which requires working together to do a lot of stuff so I was trying to schedule time together to practice), she says I called at the perfect time cause she got off the phone with a guy from my other class. She talked about how they hung out one night in his car and was playing games. Before they left she gave him a half heart and he gave her a full heart.

But she continues to do the same stuff and flirts with me. And when she looks at me in my eyes, her pupils dilate and it looks like she's giving me love eyes