Ignored on social media but choosing to interact in person?

[Anonymous]

A girl at work has seemed like she’s been trying to get my attention for a while and I started noticing her and wanted to get to know her better. I talked to her a bit to make sure she was single and wasn’t crazy or whatever, but it’s kind of hard to find any meaningful time to talk to her. I decided to add her on social media since she had a lot of followers so it didn’t feel like it was too personal or anything. She accepted me and responded to my first message, then left my follow up on delivered. I didn’t really mind it, I assumed I just misread the situation and decided to move on. At work, though, she’s going out of her way to interact with me more than usual now. Is she just awkwardly overcompensating to try to act like everything is normal? I’m only at work a few minutes a day a few days a week and our jobs don’t work together, so she could 100% not interact with me if she didn’t want to.

[CrazyKittyStyx]

If a woman is going out of her way to speak to you in person, especially if she doesn’t need to, she is DEFINITELY interested. I understand you want to be cautious, but honestly if you like her too, just ask her if she’d like to go get a coffee and get her number. What’s the worst that can happen? She says no and you go on with your life!
You’re overthinking it. It might be she just doesn’t like social media or doesn’t access her account that often so hasn’t seen your second message. Women are subtle in their flirting, if she’s anything like me she’s doing her best to get your attention whilst trying to not look desperate.

[Asker]

I’m way more hesitant to ask her out as things stand now, because I’m kind of accepting the no response as “not interested” and I don’t want to put her on the spot while she’s at work after trying and failing outside of work. Just hard to maintain confidence when she got my attention and then did nothing with it. I’m not like mad or anything at all like that because I don’t think she has any obligation to respond to me, but it’s hard not to see it as a signal to step way back and just leave the ball in her court.

[CrazyKittyStyx]

You don’t sound mad, you sound like a good guy, and it’s wise to be cautious in a professional environment.

I was recently in a situation with a guy at work, where one day we were making lots of strong eye contact and smiling at each other. The next day though he was kind of in my face and trying to flirt right in front of my new line manager, which was awkward and uncomfortable. So I shut it down by not flirting back and immediately felt awful because he was then embarrassed and backed off completely. But my response was to find him later and just hand him a piece of paper with my name and number and just said
“in case you’re interested”. It was then up to him.

However, 99% of women WON’T do anything like that. We’re trained to think that a guy should do all the work, which is mad. Honestly, my girlfriends think I’m crazy but I don’t think there’s anything wrong in asking a guy out.

You can just wait to see if she responds to your message, but it might take a while. I also suspect unless you find a subtle way to ask her, she’s unlikely to make a move herself. It could just be done very casually, give her your number so she’s in control of the situation.

[Asker]

I don’t know. I already opened communication and she wasn’t interested. Giving her my phone number seems a little pushy now. If she wanted to get in touch with me, she could and would. It’s a little disheartening and confusing, but the relief of kind of finding out how she feels seems like it will outlast whatever pain and embarrassment it caused. I think her continuing to talk me is just her way of nicely letting me know I don’t need to feel embarrassed or awkward around her. She seems like a genuinely nice girl. Too bad I don’t see it working out in my favor this time 😂 thanks for the advice.

[CrazyKittyStyx]

You’re welcome and good luck.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe she has a lot of followers and can’t keep track of them all. I really think she likes you.

[Gopackers02]

I kinda was in the same situation. I’d say keep talking to her and be friends then see how she if she tries to give signs she likes you but until then Be friends. Also I’d say if you 2 do become something only tell a couple people at most because if there’s a conflict it’ll start work drama so fast I know from experience so just be careful with that

[qwert1234]

Maybe she is just acting normally, and you "see" these "flags" because you like her?

[Asker]

I mean, that’s possible, but I didn’t initiate any contact with her or seek her out. She put herself on my radar and went out of her way to do it. I wasn’t like a smitten kid with a crush following her around.

[crystalline0909]

She just wants someone to feed her attention and boost her self confidence. Adding you increased her followers and eventually after she has found someone better, you'll be one of her fans who wanted her but couldn't have her.

[Mamii419]

If she's going out of her way to talk to you in person she likes you. If she didn't she'd be going out of her way to avoid you. It's possible she over looked the notification on social media...

[Anonymous]

Keep interacting with her and see how it progresses.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn't like social media? I don't know

[Adam1978]

Just ask her out and you will find out.

[Anonymous]

Give time and you will know.