Was the counselor right? Should the adolescent girl kept her date with the first boy that asked or the boy she wanted to go with after he asked?

[Adaeva]

At the last day of camp, there is a dinner. I overheard the counselor talking. An adolescent girl in our cabin asked her what she should do. She accepted the dinner date with a boy but then the boy she liked asked her. The counselor told her to go with the first boy. However, she didn't and went the dinner with the second boy.

[abc3643]

To me, this is simply a question of "keeping your word".

She said that she'd go out with the first boy. Unless she has a legitimate excuse such as a death in the family or sickness or car problems, then she is obligated to fulfill her word.

Now, if she really wasn't interested in the first boy, then she never should have even agreed to go on a date with him. (*)

Regardless, why couldn't she go out with the second boy as well? Or is this date supposed to be to an event like a dance so she could only choose one boy to go with.

If that's the case - in which the date is to an appointment event - I would cut her some slack. But, anything else, she should go with the first boy and the one date and then go on a date with the second boy.

(*) You know... She should re-evaluate the first boy... HE asked her first which means he was more interested in her or was more brave about it than the second boy. Maybe that first boy IS the better boy to be with...

[abc3643]

@adaeva, please follow me.

[Adaeva]

I can't be certain because I didn't hear all of the conversation, but the impression I got is she waited till late and then went with the second boy when he asked. I guess she could have went with both boys. After all it was just dinner on long tables and they took us there in busses. She could have sat between and/or across from both boys.

[abc3643]

Please tell us about this camp...

[Adaeva]

Camp Wyldewood is a Christian camp near Searcy, Arkansas. Some summer sessions are one week and a couple are two weeks.

[Bricealan]

Well, I think she screwed up by doing that, BUT we all make mistakes that we live to regret.

Here is why, because I did that when I was a new guy in the military, at 19, and regret it to this day. Also involved Summer Camp, in Virginia, where I met a young girl at a restaurant and she was very cute, very nice and I think she was 16- or 17, and I was 19. She invited me to come back down (from Ohio) and she booked me a room at a local motel. I met her dad etc. At my motel, I met two girls who went to George Washington University, and one girl invited me to go to Virginia Beach over that weekend.

• Like a moron, I stood the younger girl up and went to Virginia Beach, and stayed BY MYSELF in a motel after a make-out session on the beach with her. I realized later that the girl conned me to taking her to V. Beach to probably spend the night with her SO!!

I should have used my head, and kept my plans with the first really young, cutie, I met, and I bet it really hurt her that I did such a stupid thing.

[kylee2437]

I agree with the counselor. The first man didn’t hesitate to ask her to a dinner date meanwhile the guy she actually liked most likely did.

[Effably]

Absent emotional attachement? The counselor is of course right. Sticking to what you agreed is good conduct.

In terms of what is best for the girl? Who knows really. That is up to her emotions and no one else. I will point out thoigh that teachers, axtibe counselors and honestly most adults in teaching institutions take some joy in playing matchmakers. They will very often be shipping students, or be aware of who likes who. So its entirely plausible the counselor in question also had a hunch how the boys felt about our girl and advised based upon it.

[Anonymous]

It's a tricky one. And there isn't exactly a good way to go about it. When it comes to dates and stuff it's important to be clear I think but also be open and honest. So in this case she did say she would go with him but frankly if she wanted to go with the other guy she should of asked that guy or said no to the one that asked her first. Normally sticking to your word is best. But when it comes to relationships and dates it's different in ways.

It wasn't really kind or fair for her to just go with another guy. If she spoke to him it's better and there isn't exactly a good option. Except well not having excepted the date in the first place with the first guy. I'd honestly say that was what she did wrong was accept the date with someone she didn't want to go with.

[Adaeva]

I could be wrong, and It is only an impression from the amount of conversation that I head but I believe she waited on the other guy until the day before the dinner, more or less, but when he didn't ask she accepted the other boy.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, I mean I don't get why she wouldn't just ask the guy she wanted to go with. Or why accept to go with a guy she didn't seem to really want to go with.

The only thing she really seems to have done wrong is go with another guy without saying anything to the first.

Despite accepting she isn't obligated to go and can change her mind which is fine but no matter it's still a bit harsh to turn up with another guy like that in such a short time frame.

[Adaeva]

We all go to the dinner so the first boy knows she was setting with the second boy. No doubt his feeling were hurt, not that that girls care about a boy's feelings. Of course, they come from all over so likely she will never see either boy again.,

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah but even if she doesn't see her again which I doubt he wants to after that. It would hurt the one who asked her our first and then it's not likely to be great for his confidence for asking someojen our again in the future.

[Princessvarsha]

I too agree with the counselor.. dear 🥰

[Princessvarsha]

@adaeva kindly reply to my DM dear 🥺🥺🥺