Is she into me or am I in the friendzone?

[Kevsker]

The situation summed up:

- We're both 21
- We were close during highschool
- We currently don't live in the same country
- We started texting more and more these past few months
- We text about our personal lives late at night
- We send each other new articles or memes on social media
- We tease each other often
- She sometimes doesn't answer my texts within 24h
- She strikes up a conversation when she's on a train or a bus
- She talks about her failing relationship
- She mentioned she's scared she won't find anyone to settle down with (she's kinda insecure)
- She said I should invite her to my wedding when that day comes
- She mentioned how mature I've become over the past years
- She knows I liked her during highschool
- She said I should've told her back then, because "who knows if it could have led to something"
- She said she 'likes' frat boys (I'm not a frat boy by the way)
- She said she misses our highschool friends and life

I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I still like her, but she's sending me so many mixed signals I don't know what to think of the situation anymore. Is she into me or am I in the friendzone? Thanks in advance for your honest opinions!

She likes you.

She wants to know more about you to see if you're future boyfriend material.

She sees you as a close friend and values your opinion.

She friendzoned you bud, nothing more you can do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo this is tough man. There's definitely some mixed signals going on here. A few things that stand out:

- Talking late at night about personal lives and sending each other stuff could just be her being a good friend, but it also shows a level of closeness that isn't totally in the friendzone.

- Mentioning she's scared of being alone and you should've told her back in high school how you felt are both things that make it seem like she's hinting around about more.

- Saying she "likes frat boys" could just be her way of making it clear you're friends without rejecting you directly.

- The fact that she brings up your high school feelings and what could have been also seems like she's thought about it enough to wonder.

My advice would be to try letting her know subtly how you still feel, like complimenting her more or flirting a little. See how she responds before outright confessing anything. Pay attention to if her texts get more flirty back. She might be waiting for you to make a move first since she's not totally sure how you feel now. Just don't come on too strong. Good luck man, I think you've got a decent shot!

[Kevsker]

Thanks for your honest opinion :)

Few things that might be worth mentioning:

We are indeed very close, so talking late at night is mostly catching up on each other's study progress etc. The thing about her mentioning she's scared of being alone etc was during a group call with her best friend (and a mutual friend to me as well).

The thing about my feelings for her during highschool and that I should've told her was a while ago over text. Wasn't anything special, I mentioned it and she was sweet and polite about it. But she keeps bringing it up during those group calls for some reason, so thats why I'm confused. Might be teasing, might be more.

She said she likes frat boys, but more in the "hanging around with them" kinda way. That was also in a group call and over text or anything, so it might have been a hint that she isn't interested or it was just a general statement.

She sometimes sends kinda flirty texts, like wishing me a good night with a kiss smileyface, or initiating a conversation with a sticker of a cute dog with puppy eyes, meaning she misses talking to me or something? I don't know anymore at this point lmao. I try to be kinda flirty back but I don't want to seem like some desperate dude.

Does this change your opinion on the situation? Thanks again for the insight and advice.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome and you know what man, the more context you provide the more unclear this actually seems haha. I can see why you've been so confused!

On one hand, some of those late night texts and comments she brings up your old crush do seem potentially flirty. But at the same time, talking about liking frat guys and bringing it up around friends muddies the waters. Girls can definitely be hard to read sometimes.

My advice would be to try and spend some one-on-one time with her over video chat or something. Get a better vibe for whether it feels more friendly or if there's real chemistry when it's just you two. Bringing up old memories is one thing, but does the conversation flow naturally? Do you both seem engaged? That could give you a better sense.

Either way, I don't think you have anything to lose by being a little more openly flirty in return. See how she reacts - if she seems into it or shuts it down. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket yet, feel it out more first. You've got time to figure it out since you're long distance. Keep me posted on how it goes though bro! Fingers crossed for you.

[Kevsker]

I agree, thanks again!

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome

[Billlewis]

It sounds like she's moved on from you, but it's impossible to know for sure.

[PresidentLucia]

You're asking this question on girls ask guys. This strikes me as severely introverted and autistic.

Trust me when I say you're friend zoned to the absolute maximum.

[Kevsker]

Sheesh, someone had a bad day and decided to let out the frustration on an online platform!

[Kevsker]

Since when can people not discuss relationships, love interests, etc on the internet? Sounds like you're on the wrong platform then...

[Sonjita]

I mean you are friends but maybe you have a chance it's hard to tell

[Flower7]

She sees you as a friend.