How to not let people kill my vibe?

[Anonymous]

I find I only get this with men and then masculine women but they always say I talk too much and I need to stop being energetic and loud. It’s so rude as I don’t want to change myself for anyone or for them to change me without me realising it. I don’t have talkative women say this but it makes me not want to bother with men at all. I just feel scared of speaking almost but at same time I don’t change anything. I do make sure to listen of course and not just talk about myself. I have manners

[bededazzle]

the way to not let people kill your vibe is to not let people kill your vibe lol. just let it pass like a leaf in the wind and perhaps limit your time spent around the negativity

[Asker]

It’s finding out who is the negativity. Quite easy to sense the types from the get go

[bededazzle]

if there is a grain a truth in the criticism, you can make changes for your own self. you have to look in your heart for that. but not every one is going to like an energetic personality, just like not everyone likes my jokes. you have to sort of know your audience. in my experience, it’s best not to take anything personally, even when it is intended to be personal lol

[Asker]

I like your jokes!!

[bededazzle]

haha thanks--i just mean you'll never please everyone. what matters is the people whose opinion you truly value. they can help you grow in a caring way. we are all growing all the time

[Asker]

Wow great advice. Decide whose opinion you value

[bededazzle]

i just don't like to see people get down about criticism

[Asker]

That’s kind

[Tim2nice]

It’s possible to talk less and still be yourself. Talking too much is off putting for most people of both genders. But of course not many people have the courage to tell you you talk too much.

[Asker]

It’s hard to tell whether I talk too much. Seems that some don’t comment. It’s only some very intolerant people that comment and then that makes me phobic and paranoid I’ll lose myself

[Tim2nice]

It’s not about intolerance. When you’re with other people you talk in turns and then listen. If you were my friend I’d let you know in a friendly and polite way to talk less and give other people a chance to talk as well. If I don’t know I’d just avoid you.

[Asker]

I do exactly that yet some OTT people still say I talk too much

[ThrillSeeker01]

You just need to kind open people. Open is good.