I looked nedy for my colleague should I keep distance?

[seth900]

Well i liked this colleague at work i see here mostly once a week. Noy sure the reasons why she rejected me might been even for my nedy behaviour. Not sure if there is any chance for me with her but anyway. at least if i want to restore her mind about me what should i do? Definatly not planning to contact her anymore should i keep distance and not show up in her face?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, slow down a sec. You gotta be really careful about pursuing coworkers - that can get messy fast if they're not into it.

First thing I'd say is back way off from this girl for now. Don't contact her or stare at her creepily at work. You don't wanna make her feel uncomfortable.

Give her some space and don't be all up in her space whenever you see her. Act normal and professional like you would with any other coworker.

Over time if you happen to run into her and chat naturally, be on your best behavior - polite, respectful, fun to be around. Dress nice and hold yourself together.

Don't bringing up what happened before or how she feels about you. Just focus on being a chill person to be around in a no-pressure way.

Maybe after a while if things feel normal between you again, you could ask her casually to lunch or whatever - but low-key, no pressure and respect her answer.

For now though dude just cool it with the crush and let things settle down. The last thing you wanna do is scare her off for good, right? Play it cool for a while and see how it goes.

[April_cherry]

What do you mean when you say she rejected you? Did you ask her out and she said no? Did she show any interest before rejecting you? Do you feel some chemistry between both of you?

[April_cherry]

Also you said that she is your colleague : maybe she doesn't want to mix profesional and personal relationship at work. She might also be afraid of gossips, or she doesn't want to make things awkward at work if things doesn't go well.

[seth900]

She is colleague from other departament i barely see here we used tobsay just hello and i haven't approached her in real. Just our paths didn't crossed to talk more or she was by her desk working or with her collegues. So we been chating on teams she seemed friendly i asked her couple times either go for coffee, lunch than i offered go to miseum or coffee after work she didn't rejected directly but she used to say thank you for the offer either i am not in the offixe or at that day she does activities with her collegues girls. Well i got the message she is not interested. Its especially for me weird we never talked in real and i dont know how to approacher there just isn't any opportunity.

[April_cherry]

Ok do you know if she has a boyfriend or dating someone?
It seems like you do not have that much interactions and she doesn't know you enough to be interested in you. So I will suggest you not to ask her out yet. She needs to get to know you first before accepting seeing you outside.

If she doesn't have a boyfriend or is not dating :
Start with asking her for a coffee break. Not even lunch yet. If she accepts for the coffee break, try to get to know her better and let her know you better. Once she feels comfortable after a few coffee break, you can ask her for lunch maybe. Or try to get to know her other colleagues from her departments, then you can have lunch time in groups. Not just the two of you. Otherwise she will feel awkward because right now she doesn't know you that well. And she needs to get to know you better to be interested (provided that you are her type).

[April_cherry]

For the coffee, try to ask her when you see her at the office not via the Teams chat.

[seth900]

Now i just feel awkward at work seeong her and try to avoid her. All i want to do now just to fix how i feel about her eventually at least ask how she is. Not even thinking aboit going out

[April_cherry]

Oh ok I see, so just want to keep it cordial / professional with her? Because you felt that she rejected you?

[seth900]

At least for now stay professional and build trust or friendship and if i have a chance try ask her out later again

[laly520]

yes

keep some distance