Girlfriend regularly belittles my job saying it is not as hard as what her brother's. Like regularly. Is this a red flag?

[David1108]

I'm an economist. Her brother is a mathematician. She regularly belittles my work saying " Math is much much harder. Only those who cannot cut it in Math turn to Economics ". Which is not true.

But she regularly brings it up and we argued about it for 2 hours. Why does she even care to argue about it for 2 hours. In my case Economics is my field and I have to defend my field. In her case she isn't a mathematician so why does she have to be so aggressive about attacking mine...

[Effably]

Is she intentionally trying to rile you up? Is this some elaborate way to brat?

If it is, figure it out. I mean, just lift her up and see what happens. Consensually of course.

As a fellow Econ. Major though. I dated a girl who's parents were both doctors. They were not ecstatic with what I do, although not disapproving either. We got into a light discussion about doing good for humanity.

My counter was very simple.
How many doctors does your hospital have?
How many more could it have if the people managing your economy were excellent?
Into just driving it home of course: So between an excellent economist or an excellent doctor, who would be more useful to a large hospital?

The answer, as is usually the case, is that the potential of the economist is typically the highest. That mathematician will need funding, typically asking someone with your background for it.

But she is also right. Not a lot of more intense areas of study than higher math. It gets interesting when it stops being rules and starts being puzzles.

[David1108]

But very few pure math research papers have practical applications or societal implications. Which is the major reason I prefer economics. Besides Mathematicians cannot win Nobel Prizes...

[David1108]

To each their own. But to say that Econs is easier than Math or that Economists only do what they do because they cannot develop formal proofs is.. Well uninformed... Think of Kahneman's experiments... Thinking up the hypotheses is hard enough. Designing experiments to test them.. That is very hard...

[Effably]

No one is saying it is not hard or study intense. It is one of the tougher academic lines. But easier among the tougher ones. Either way, unless degradation is a kink of yours you should have her stop.

[David1108]

I'm thinking of quitting the relationship all together. It's the argument for 2 hours that is a huge red flag for me.
I have a skin In this game.. she doesn't but she went on and on... Indicating that she is argumentative and wants to be right.
And jealousy too. My career is going better than her brother's. I mean the average economy phd grad has better job prospects than thr average pure math phd grad... She is basically trying to 'cuts me to size'. Honestly I am very respectful towards her brother and even seek out advice from him..
But she keeps saying " Your job prospects are better because you chose an easier field. You chose this field because you cannot do math research like my brother "...

[Effably]

Yeah again. I struggle to see her angle. In my head she must be bratting out or something and hoping for an aggressive playful spanking. But who knows. Of course she will compare you to her brother, but its enough that you and he gets along.

If she doesn't have an angle. I'd quit it. But I would try to ask her in a relaxed setting what the angle is or why it is so important to her.

[David1108]

Its like she is competing with me in her mind

[Anonymous]

I’d say for sure it’s a red flag. Ask her why? Like why do you always bring it up? Is that her way of trying to tell you you should continue to move up or build yourself into something better. Like you have no ambition or something. Regardless might be tome to retune her to get a better upgrade lol

[David1108]

Even her dad says I work harder on my research than her brother...

[Opinion Owner]

Something seems off w her. Maybe she’s trying to breakup w you by starting an argument?

[MsProsperity]

Maybe she’s just jealous. Next time she brings this up ask her ‘don’t you think it’s better to date a mathematician? since it’s better that what I your boyfriend do’
It’s annoying and frustrating to have a partner who doesn’t support you, make her understand how you feel. If she doesn’t change, dump her for your own peace of mind

[David1108]

Yes... Thanks

[Little_Bumblebee]

Why be with someone who does something like that?

Doesn't matter if you're a janitor, or a surgeon, don't be with someone who belittles you or what you do.

[DryGermanGuy]

Math is the base for handling economic theories, predictions and statistics. So you’re doing the more advanced job. I don’t know what her underlying problem is, she sounds manipulative and combative.

[slatyb]

Weird. What does she get out of this? Economics is a mathematical discipline. How is the relationship otherwise?

[David1108]

A week ago she went on about how men are soft and submissive to the woman they love..
It's almost like she is trying to break my confidence in my understanding of the world and follow her...

[slatyb]

GET THE HELL OUT

[LazerBean]

Yeah, that's no good at all

[SweetDripp]

Why are you with her?

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound very supportive.

[jahaims]

Obviously a red flag