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I went to this bar near where I live. Had only been there a few times. I was chatting with this bartender one evening. At the time, it kind of seemed she was interested. Like when I told her about my traveling, what I do for work, etc, she asked me if I was single. Then she asked me where I plan to travel next I was like I wasn't sure, she said you should book two tickets. The other male bartender with us and this female customer just laughed. Then she asked me what my type is in girls ethnicity. I said her ethnicity (which it is). She got more specific in the kind of ethnicity and all. After she asked that she had to go do something and I said I want to know what you say. The female customer was there and said she's a nice girl and asked me if I had a girlfriend/why I didn't have one etc when she was gone for a minute. Later she also said I have a cute smile and all. Then later I asked if she had done something which I had done she said no but she said we should do it together sometime. I had a little to drink, so I figured why not say it, and I said yeah we should exchange contact info. She immediately went to get her phone and I put my number in and I texted her name to my phone. I wasn't sure whether to text her the next day but I did later in the evening exactly a day after, nothing flirty, just said "nice meeting you last night lol". Didn't respond no big deal, but it wouldn't be weird for me to go back right? It was just a friendly text, didn't think too much to send it, but I didn't text her anymore and all.
Would it be weird to go back?
Anonymous
(36-45) 
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Personally I believe that it is part of a bartender's job to be nice with customers and to create a kind of a "bond" with them in order for them to order more drinks.
Being friendly is actually part of the job and to engage in conversations as well. Just like waitresses and waiters, they also depend on the tips they receive to enhance their wages. You rarely become a millionaire as a bar tender.
The fact that you have not received any calls back from her would lead me to believe that her behavior was just part of her being friendly with you. Bartenders, in particular pretty ones, must receive dozens of compliments and requests every single night of their shifts. I would not have too much hope and going back just because of that missed text sounds a little clingy and needy in my opinion.
There is one person here on GaG that knows exactly what I am referring to. Perhaps that this person could answer you and give the point of view of a bartender on that topic.
Sorry are you saying not going back seems needy or going back would seem needy
I mean to say that going back looks needy in my opinion because you obviously let her know what your intentions are.
Couldn’t I go back and just act like it never happened. All I texted her was nice meeting you it can come across as friendly I’ve been there before and she seemed like she enjoyed talking to me and all. Like just wait a few weeks and all.
Not like I’ve been spamming her or asked her out.
of course you can go back and just act like it never happened. Perhaps she does not even remember you because honestly, women bartenders get hundreds of such hook up attempts and I would not be surprised if she does not remember you.
Actually you did a great job. The only thing I would change is that you should have asked her out in the text, but outside of that you literally did everything right. Of course you should go in there, if she's not interested she's not interested but you have no reason to feel bad, even the world's best pick up artist only have about a 10% success rate.
could she be possibly be still interested, like I just sent a friendly text I know possibly not but you never know and all etc.
@Asker Possible yes but not probable. You have to judge a women by her actions and her actions says she's not interested. in my opinion your text was bad never send a girl a friendly text if you want to be more than friends but overall you did fine this one particular girl wasn't interested, forget her and move on to the next one. It's just a numbers game.
I see you're saying the first text wasn't good? could she have just lost interest then. I did wait like 20 hours to text her and it was just a friendly text with an lol after. not like I asked her out.
@Asker it wasn't "bad" that was a poor choice of words by me. Rather it was irrelevant. You played it perfectly in public but you have to close, you took the safe route of not wanting to get rejected. All you had to say in your text was. Hi this is _____ from last night, would you like to meet up for a drink? Then you wait, based on her responses you'll know what to do. If she never responds you have your answer. Most importantly though don't waist time pondering what went wrong you did a lot of good things I'm this interaction and remember it's never an exact science.
like one thing, she was middle eastern. like I said she asked me my type. I said middle eastern, which it is, and I figured she was showing interest then. she then asked what kind of middle eastern exactly, I said Persian which she wasn't, but then I said middle eastern as a whole, I don't know it was making me uncomfortable as I wasn't sure what she was doing. when she left the other customer listening was laughing a bit and thats when she said she's a nice girl and she was asking me if I had a girlfriend and all and I said no and she said why not etc. like im not trying to obsess but like you're saying, should have I just asked her out when I texted her the next day and all lol. I know bartenders are nice to give good service/tips/have people come back and all but this was different it seemed. the other customer said she works as a bartender so she would be able to tell if the bartender was doing that just for good service or meant it and all.
I see you need to seal the deal you mean. girl can have interest then loose it I know. it seemed like it was building u then but after time they can lose it I know.
@Asker you're overthinking it and I can tell you're not that experienced with women. For starters when she asked you what your type was you should of replied w/ something vague "Beautiful women that are attracted to me" Your a man men don't have types women do. When the other customer asked if you had a girlfriend you should have just replied, "Why you want to go out" as I said your instincts are right you just need to get better at flirting and you can only do this with practice. You're to focused on if that specific girl likes you instead of focusing on improving your overall skills. One question though, was this in America?
@Asker Woman are cats they react on emotion and temporary feelings. You need to understand that what a woman says is simply a reflection of how she is feeling at that time.
Not at all. Bartenders are HAF and just wild in a good way!
Yeah all I texted was nice meeting you wasn’t really flirty can be friendly nbd and all act like nothing prob just get free drinks if I go back more. Prob just liked talking to me