Is she over reacting?

[Anonymous]

We both had a history. I madly loved her when she had a rich boyfriend. A lot. And when he left her, she came to me to befriend. I tried to act like we never knew. She was very messed up after her breakup and my actions made her feel worse. Her ex was her world and she had no network outside him.

We thought to become flings. She wanted us to be a couple but I expected her to be sexually exclusive. When she didn't, I broke it. It was followed by periods of drama and mind games. I simply ignored her.

Finally when time came when I had to fly out of country, she called me. We talked but it was short. And then another time I met her both of us didn't talk. I don't understand my unknown hatred for her. And I always ignored her. To be precise I was bored. I would tell her she is waisting my time.

At the same time I was very possessive of her as well. I can't stand any guy with her.

Now we are in the same office. She acts cold. She plainly ignores me. Doesn't talk. Don't care. I feel terrible. And last day when I fell down, she simply walked past me. I expected her to turn around at least, which she didn't. Her ignorance is making me mad. Is she overreacting to my rejection?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow dude, that's a lot of drama! This whole on-again, off-again thing you guys had sounds super confusing and messy. I can see why she'd be really hurt by how you've treated her in the past.

It definitely wasn't cool how you kept ignoring her and rejecting her after she opened up to you when she was going through a tough breakup. That's just kinda cruel, you know? And then being possessive and getting mad when she saw other guys, but not actually committing to being her boyfriend... that must've really screwed with her head.

At the same time, I get that breakups are hard and you had feelings for her too. Jumping into something new right away is rarely a good idea when emotions are so raw. So it makes sense things got complicated.

Now having to see her every day at work after all that must be so awkward! I wouldn't be surprised if she's still pretty pissed and hurt. But straight up ignoring you when you fell... that does seem like an overreaction.

Maybe she just needs more time to get over it, since you denied her closure by always shutting her out before. I'd say just give her some space for now. Don't push her or demand she talk to you. That'll probably only make her more mad.

In the meantime, focus on your job and being polite but distant if you have to interact. Once some of the tension dies down, you could try reaching out one more time to have an actual conversation and get closure for both of you. But go into it apologizing for messing up before, and be really honest about how you feel without being disrespectful of her feelings. Hopefully you can both move forward then, even if it's just as coworkers who are cordial. That's my best advice, man! Good luck sorting it all out.

[Asker]

Rumours are she is dating someone there. I don't think he is loyal to her and honestly I look better on her than him. The rumour came up when another colleague has crush on her and wanted to make a move.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that bugs me hearing she might be dating that dude from work. I know I wasn't always the best to her before either, but I still think we had some real chemistry.

And c'mon, does she really see a future with that guy? I just get the vibe he's not gonna treat her right long-term. She deserves way better than that. Plus we all know I'm way more attractive and could show her a better time, am I right?

I'm not tryna chase after someone who's taken, but part of me wants to let her know she can do better. Drop a few hints that I'm still interested, just in case things don't work out with this other jamoke. Carefully plant the seeds of doubt, you know?

If she dumps him, maybe I can work my magic and rekindle things. She was always so into me before, I bet I could get her hooked again in no time. Until then I guess I just gotta be patient and see what happens with this chump she's with now. Ugh, it kills me to sit back though!

I'll play it cool for now. But I'm telling you man, if they break up don't be surprised if I make my move to snag her back. I never truly let that girl go...

[Lliam]

Sounds like she is doing to you what you did to her. She doesn't think you are a good person and wants nothing more to do with you.

[Asker]

Is there some way I could change that? I get uncomfortable when every man in the room looks at her the way I used to look. I hate anyone looking deep into her eyes.

[Lliam]

That's creepy. You had your chance and blew it. You need to get over it.

[HelpfulWoman]

oh get over yourself.
so now you're pissed that she'd treat you how you treated her before?

[DishLady]

Overreacting to what? She's just not into you. Why aren't YOU just moving on?

[Summeroflove]

No she played games and lost you she’s her own worst enemy and it’s obvious that she’s the one chasing any decent guys away, especially if she’s cheating.

Cut her off you’re not her boyfriend anymore and aren’t obligated to deal with her shit. You don’t need that type of drama be glad it’s over with now because a long term relationship with her would mean absolute hell for you.

Good….. Don’t talk to her either unless it’s strictly work related. Just leave her alone and if she bothers you just bring it up to HR. Someone cheating is a dealbreaker I don’t care what someone went through it’s a choice to cheat. I can see why her ex would have left her.

You deserve better then that dude you do. You have her a chance and she failed. Stop being in denial there’s nothing you can do for her.

[Asker]

She is the one ignoring me. If I walk upto her, she will change direction like sun and moon.
She didn't cheat. Just coz I said I don't want relation and promised her sex but backed off, she thought if doing it. Also I was on tinder the whole time.

[Summeroflove]

Asker. This is her problem. Just pretend she isn’t there unless you have to talk for work reaosns. If she ignores you for that talk to HR.

Move on you deserve better

[Summeroflove]

I mean if you didn’t want a relationship and she did and you were on tinder. Yeah ignoring is childish. But at the same time she maybe wanted something more

[Asker]

Yeah. We don't talk. But I can't stand the idea that she is now talking to a guy who is her mentor. They are all smile and laughter and I can't stand that.
It is true I was on tinder but I expected her to be sexually exclusive to her and so was I to her.
I constantly have panic attacks that she would be with someone else thus I too ignore her social media presence.

[Summeroflove]

Just ignore them….. she moved on. Just move on too. Allow yourself to grieve this. But don’t stay in denial man

[Summeroflove]

Trust me dude she’s her own worst enemy.