Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
So with this girl communication was non existent she never wanted to sit down and talk about issues in her words they were triggering she instead would sit with her friend for hours and bash me. This happened multiple times throughout our relationship
This sounds like you were the unfortunate party here. This just stems from maturity. It’s not normal, we all have friends where if we get upset yeah we tell them what you have done to an extent. But that’s usually where our emotions have been expressed and fell on deaf ears. It’s from frustration. But it’s not normal when we haven’t expressed anything to you and only to our friends. I’m sorry that this was done. But it’s common sadly. My ex husband I tried two therapists, I tried altering my moods, my presentation everything. He still would only talk to another man’s wife about our problems. So I left. 🤷🏻♀️ if you make it so easy to talk through issues and still they choose another route… walk away.
Yeah there would be some days where she would get back and she would walking around plotting to breakup after hanging out with her friend. The absolute crazy part is one of these hangouts was before Christmas and I had bought a gingerbread house for her to build with her friend and the whole time they were building it they were trashing me.
Yeah she’s immature & if I’m being honest a mean spirited person. Keep that one far away.
Yeah the awkward part was I started to notice the pattern and I was like have fun trashing me because somewhere down the line she usually would reveal she was talking about me I don’t know if it was her guilty conscience but it always did happe
I actually avoid saying negative things about my spouse at all cost. That is toxic for the relationship.
If we can't solve it at home peacefully, it doesn't need to involve anyone else but a professional.
You are so right. If not a professional, at least be very selective in who you confide in and the reason you are confiding in them because, if you're not careful, you end up pulling in friends and other family members who all have their own opinions and people start taking sides. When I had a major problem with my husband recently, I confided in 1 male friend in whom I had absolute confidence in his ability to remain objective and in his integrity. He helped me be able to see the male point of view, which enabled me to understand my husband better and to approach things in a different way. The problem has been resolved and, frankly, very possibly the marriage saved.
@Caroline91 so this turned into a full on bashing session where it was her and her friend constantly talking bad about me basically the girl could never do wrong even though she was physically abusive and verbally abusive her friend was saying I was causing it yep ok I’m really asking to be beat on I’m asking to be called a bitch and nuisance
It is important not to allow ourselves to be victims. Abusive situations are so complicated on the psycho emotional level once you are in it and can be so hard to break out of. The fact that you got caught up in this may be an indication that some therapy would be a good thing for you in order to examine what happened and how to fortify yourself to be able to have a healthy relationship in the future. I wish you only the best. We all deserve joy and happiness in our lives!
It’s not normal for women who are good people but be VERY aware of these type of women especially if you notice that they’re degrading their boyfriends imagine what they say about you. It may be normal to vent if there is problems going on but not to degrade someone.
If someone whose normal thinks so low of the person they're with they would have broken it off long before it got to that point. People who are using someone talk like that.
Someone who can’t communicate and expects someone to read their mind. Dump them like the bad habit they are
Even in venting, I would always be very careful who I vented to and how I did it. I would stay pretty vague about details and make it about me and my feelings, not about him. If I'm needing to vent so much, I should probably be talking to him also.
@Caroline91 no and I agree completely there are times people turn to othete though because they can’t easily communicate with their significant other but they aren’t hateful. At that point though is the relationship even worth it.
But absolutely, someone should be speaking with their partner and not degrading them ever behind their back even when they’re frustrated.
@Caroline91 and if someone’s significant other has friends where they are horrible to their girlfriends or boyfriends behind their back. You best believe they’re talking about you the same 9/10 and those 1/10 times it’s just not yet
@summeroflove Which I s why I cultivate friendships with women who would rather talk about more important and interesting things than gossip or complaints.🙂
@Caroline91 that’s a good thing not all women are like that but those type of women really can just bring everyone down.
You best believe the nasty things they say about others. They’re saying about you too just remember most of the time it isn’t personal. They do this to deflect off of themselves and what they’re doing. Many times projecting
@Caroline91 I’m fine with someone whose telling a legitimate story, needing to vent, or complains a little who doesn’t complain sometimes.
But if it’s just all someone can talk about is negative. Never anything nice to say about anyone who wants it. It’s so odd that none of them can see that they’re as fake to one another as they are to everyone else. In fact worse. Back stabbers no honor amount them because they stab one another in the back
@summeroflove It's nice to read your positive posts!
@Caroline91 thanks some people don’t think I’m very positive. But it’s best to be realistic, sometimes friends need to tell the hard truth to you. But at the same time nobody wants someone whose just bringing everyone down
@summeroflove One of the reasons my best friend if my bestie is bc I know she will always look me square in the eye and speak the truth to me, no matter how much it hurts. And then, she'll stay to help me deal with any fallout. That's a friend!
@Caroline91 that is a friend and real friends are sensitive about it they aren’t a bitch or a dick about it either.
@Caroline91 I can’t stand friends and people who never really want the truth. They want to hear what they want to hear. It’s like asking if clothing looks good a real friend beinf asked that would just tell the truth.
If someone’s asking if they should be with someone and know that persons a cheater, player, whore, or isn’t a very nice person. I’ll just say it. If they choose to pursue her/him anyways can’t help you
@Caroline91 at that point it’s more of damage control when the inevitable happens
@summeroflove All interesting points. I also tend to choose friends who learn from their mistakes and choices (a lot of "mistakes" are actually choices!) so damage control is infrequent. I don't like a lot of unnecessary drama in my life. There's enough necessary drama as is. 🫠
@Caroline91 I agree 💯 nobody is perfect but if someone just chooses to be the way they are.
Yeah I’m very selective too. It’s like I can’t be friends with a cheater especially if it’s on a spouse. Because if you could deeply betray the person you’re supposed to love most, imagine what they’ll do to me
So you’re right there are mistakes when someone just didn’t know. But you’re right many people say a mistake instead of bad choice so they don’t hold themselves accountable and can play
The victim.
Especially when they been over this many times
It seems that today's contemporary women need validation so bad they'll compromise trust, integrity, and their self respect in order to get it. Sounds like daddy issues. Then they ask where have all the good men gone?
Ahhhhh look at that, some more Manosphere is in the game ! I wonder when I'll get to see a self-labelled MGTOW in this place, finally one ! We do have some of your incels buddies running though, quite many
Opinion
6Opinion
It means that the relationship was of convenience, she most likely is unable to be single. So when she finally broke up with you she either was just sick being with you or she found someone she did want to be with.
When a woman is into you, when she respects you, she will defend you to anyone, shell stop talking to her friends if they talk shit on you. She didn't want to talk about because she already knew what she was going to do. They done been made their decision long before they you figure it out or they tell you.
While some women might occasionally vent about their boyfriends to their female best friends, it doesn't necessarily mean they are "trash talking" in a harmful way. Venting can be a way to process emotions and seek advice. However, if the talk is consistently negative or disrespectful, it might indicate deeper issues in the relationship. Healthy relationships generally involve constructive communication with the partner directly, rather than frequent negative discussions with friends. Trust and respect are key, and constant negative talk can undermine the relationship's foundation. Balance and context are important in understanding these dynamics.
I usually might say something to my mom, like we are fighting and he is being stupid but that's it, we aren't gonna sit and bash him lol. That is not good for the relationship or for you because if they bash you, obviously her friend is only getting her side and not yours. Plus when you two make up.. that friend is gonna only think bad of you. She should not be doing that as a girlfriend.. that is super bad behaviour and she seems very immature. Like she should write stuff in a diary, not be spouting crap in anger to other people. Especially when she will not even talk to you about the issue.
No, I don't claim those women, I would never, if there's an issue it's between me and him. Sadly it does happen, i have friends trash talk about their fiances /husbands and so on, and I never liked it... cuz as soon as they come in they will be like " OH HEY HONEY I MISSED YOU" ... ew
I don't because if me and my boyfriend have issues I'm going to talk to him about it because why would I trash talk the person I chose to be with that wouldn't make any sense. a relationship works when people have issues and talk to their partner about it and not other people who have nothing to do with the relationship your in.
Nope..
As much as possible, women like to brag about their boyfriends, or who has the better one. 🤣
Ultimately, every relationship and friendship is unique. While some women might engage in trash talking, others might not. It's essential to consider individual circumstances and communication styles.
Im going to be honest. I'm not sure what trash talk means.. we gossip, yes. We don't wake up bored one day and say hmm let's call Jessica and talk about how much of a jerk my boyfriend is.
No more so than men who trash talk their girlfriends and wives. Don't say it doesn't happen, I overhear it all the time while working.
I trash talk my ex-husband. But he deserves it... abusive cereal cheater. But as for my boyfriend I wouldn't because he is good to me and if we do have any small issues I tell him how I'm feeling.
Yeah I was good to her
no. if I tell my friends something i would tell my boyfriend as well. but not trash talk. just talk to get their opinion advice etc.
Yes and no. It’s normal to vent to your friends about your relationship and ask for advice. But not necessarily “trash talk.”
The level of disrespect towards you is appalling.
I sure hope they do and from firsthand eavesdropping - yes they often do : often because those women have settled for less 👀
It is with insecure woman who don't last
What’s your idea of being trash talked and bashed?
So this girl was used to getting her way all the time prior to the relationship and if she didn’t perfectly get her way she would say how horrible I am to her friend. I don’t know what specifically was said cause I wasn’t around but it happened multiple times to the point I was like nothing is gonna change about this. She wouldn’t communicate with me she rather run me down to her friends who then encouraged her to breakup cause there was a few times we was getting ready for the holidays and she was like I want to breakup when earlier in the day things were fine. She also wouldn’t mention to her friend when she was gossiping was how she would physically hit me and call me names such as bitch and nuisance.
I only ask because I think about how I would chat with my friends about my old relationship. I’d never vent too much to them now because they don’t need to know everything but back then it was really just that — venting. Nobody is perfect, so I’m sure there were things you did that she didn’t like and said as much to here friends. Guys do it too, talking about their relationship problems on a guys outing. Just trying to give you some insight to her conversations with friends, but that’s where it stops. The rest of her behavior, like not communicating and physically hitting you were out of line. I’m glad you’re out of that relationship but not sure what kept you in it in the first place.
She ran to her selective audience which was her best friend her own mom called me a great guy and said I didn’t deserve the way she treated me. What kept me in it was because I tried to see beyond her issues and not hold it against her. She came from trauma her mom and dad bear on each other and fought. Then once her dad who was heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol passed away her mom went into a relationship with another guy who would become her stepfather. They fought and beat on each other as well. Then her mom started dating another guy a time later they also fought and beat on each other. Maybe I wasn’t the guy maybe trying to be normal in a world that isn’t normal simply doesn’t work. In terms of what she did to me 2 weeks Into our relationship I bought a consule for us to play and have fun a way of bonding well she was losing a game and hauled off and hit me. She broke down crying saying she didn’t know what overcame her. I accepted he apology and we moved on well another time our dog grabbed something and I had a slow reaction and she hauled off again and hit me in the head. She would constantly get in my face calling me a bitch. One time when I was bending down to pet our dog she kicked me in the ass. All this abuse was hidden from everyone by her if anyone would have actually listened she probably would have been in jail for domestic violence. She also would beat on our dog she hit kicked and slammed him one day she slammed him down on his crate so hard it left a massive dent in it another time she hit him and he bit back defending himself in fear which enraged her further.
“What kept me in it was because I tried to see beyond her issues and not hold it against her”
We (as in you, myself and anyone else who’s been in this position) must take accountability for trying to fix broken people and justifying their bullshit. Standing by as she beat your helpless dog time and time again is another story I wish you didn’t mention, the fact you let this happen I can’t even discuss. But to circle back to your original question, it’s normal for women to vent to our friends, which I guess can be seen as trash talking if you’re not a fan of gossip of if she’s explicitly tearing you down but even that, you don’t know for sure happened.
So yeah to circle back her friend didn’t know all this was going on everything was hidden she had two sides the side I knew then the smiling can do no wrong to her friends
In terms of what was happening to our dog I didn’t stand by and let it happened I was so conflicted because her issues had the possibility of baiting into a worse situation I’m a biracial person and she was white. So much of what happened both to me and our dog because I didn’t know how to proceed and she knew that. She understood that at if any point I called the cops it would be turned into a racial situation. Once she even taunted me saying she would call the cops. Basically I felt helpless because I couldn’t call the police. I couldn’t physically defend myself or my dog and she basically could do whatever she wanted with no consequences. This is gonna haunt me for a very long time that I let myself fall victim to a situation like this. One thing I did say as the relationship came to an end is that she has ruined it for women in the future people who on the autism spectrum trust with their whole heart and to have this happened there’s no way I can find myself ever being able to trust and make myself vulnerable like that again
I say you stood by while this happened to the dog because it happened several times, and if you’d really handled it, that wouldn’t have happened more than once, maybe twice. Listen, I’m not trying to give you a hard time or blame you. Saying to take accountability for your part in what could’ve been different does not make you to blame. She was definitely the aggressor and problem in this situation. I’m mainly speaking on taking ownership of your part so you can forgive yourself, heal and move on. I am also biracial so I understand what calling the cops could mean for our people, but does that mean you just never try? As for her friend, trust me, she knew. That is her best friend. Maybe she got a watered down or altered version of what happened or how she hit you, but she knows it took place. Like if my best friend told me she slapped her man’s head, first thing to come to mind would be how mothers do with their sons and I’d find it humorous. But that is based off such little context, not the full story.
Yeah at the end of the relationship I had been completely villainized I had put up with so much abuse for almost 2 years and not once hit her back or called her out of her name. The only thing I said was that she needed psychiatric help and her friend jumped to her defense saying it was my fault so apparently I was making her beat me, I was making her call me a bitch and nuisance, I was making her attack the dog. I did also want to clarify about the dog as well he is a husky he bite back once to warn her. He didn’t want to harm her but has the power to because he was so confused as to why she was doing what she was doing. I think in terms of a final resolution sure the relationship has long been over but the waste of 2 years the new trauma that has been caused both to me and my dog just an apology. I just don’t see how I can trust again after going through all of that like being totally honest at certain points during the relationship I had suicidal ideation because I wasn’t allowed to breakup with her. When I tried to breakup with her, her sister who was living with us at the time threatened to kill me in my sleep.
Unfortunately that’s how a lot of friends are, taking their best friends side no matter the circumstances. It’s like those videos on tiktok where the boyfriend or girlfriend will call their partners close friends to see if they’ll cover for them if asked where they are. The stories and lies those friends come up with to cover for their friends are insane, but it goes to show how people take sides and stay “loyal” despite evidence suggesting they should do otherwise.
It sounds like you were in a horrible situation that I’m glad you got out of, but I would truly advise you do the work to heal and don’t let this one person define how your future goes. She doesn’t deserve to get to move on and be happy while you let the memory of her keep you traumatized and single. Life goes on. If you haven’t had a therapist yet, consider finding someone who can help if you don’t know where to start or how to move on. But you can’t stay stagnant forever.
Some do. When you find out you dump her.
Sometimes, and who cares.
You can also add your opinion below!
