Maybe you can help?

Question

It's more so a vent than a question, maybe you relate and/or can give me advice , tell your story.

I'm depressed. I'm 30 years old, and yes it is nice that I got out of my home Provience and moved across country/met someone. I'm really lonely. I've found it incredibly hard to meet friends, it's like dating you need to click to really stuck around in people's life and I feel like I am not likeable enough for people to want me around? I'm very shy at work so I don't really put myself out there to many people, only ones I feel are genuine. I work for a ferry line and though it pays well, I get depressed thinking this is all I will do in life, handing out food to rude passengers. I'm in far too much debt to go back to school, unjust feel like this is my life set in stone, nothing ever seems to change. Like I'm 30, it's kinda of obvious where your life is going by then. I'm scared im gonna be a lonely old woman one day with nothing and no one.

Sunnysunny123 · Accepted Answer

I was in a similar situation where i moved to the other side of the continent in a really cold country in the middle of the winter, this was 6 years ago and all i wanted to do is go back, i didn't know the language i didn't know anyone and it was so damn hard on top of that i only knew how to apply for an id card i didn't know how to apply for school not even for a job. I am an extroverted person and back home i was always out with friends i also worked as a waitress so i was around people all the time and then all of a sudden one day it all changed. For 2 years i cryed and all i wanted to do is go back on top of all that i had a boyfriend that was living back in my country. For a 1.5 years i didn't do literally nothing i had to stay home because i had no money and i knew noone. After 1.5 years i started language school so i met some people most of them were older vut still it's something. After 2 years i started working and it was hard but i started being extroverted again i was happy that i am working and i was talking to my colleagues, they were more introverted so i tried to slide in conversations as often as i could then after a few months they were more friendly to me so i asked if they would want to go out for a coffee sometime, this girl tought it is weird at first but she said yes because she was being nice to me, to this day we are texting and seing eachother whenever we can.

My point is you don't have to be the best of friends just try to make casual friends with everyone and then as time passes by you will stay friends with those that you like and like you. I find it very helpful for my mental health that i have friends and contact because that's how i have been my whole life so i think it helps to hang out.

ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW · Accepted Answer

I'm in a similar boat. I'm single and have been for a while. I work at a hotel and hate it. People are incredibly rude. I actually do have a degree in psychology, but jobs in that field are basically non-existent in my area. Moving is expensive and even if I could afford it, I'd have to leave my dad behind, which I would feel terrible for. So here I am.

Still, I'm keeping my eye out for any jobs that pay the same as what I make or more. If you hate your job, you don't have to stay there. You aren't locked in yet. :p I'd say it's maybe too soon to resign yourself to where you're at.

You said you met someone, but you're still worried that you'll end up with no one. Not exactly optimistic, eh? Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. Only time will tell. Either way, you never know when you'll meet someone else. My ex's parents met in their 30s while playing online poker in the late 90s. Her mom had been recently divorced when she met her step-dad. They're still married now.

What I mean to say is, it seems bleak sometimes. I also often think "What's the point?" But I try to remind myself that you really can't ever know. Sometimes things happen out of the blue. For better or worse. But the most important thing is that it won't stay exactly the way it is now.

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Okay- I know that it seems hopeless but you are only 30 years old and you can go back to school and study for a new career. I was older than you and I was married and had 3 kids and I still figured it out. I won't lie, it was very difficult and there were lots of times I didn;t think I would make it or else when I finished nobody would want to hire a 40 year old man for an entry level position.
You will be 50 years old someday, there is nothing you can do about it. But wouldn't it be better to be 50 doing something more than serving meals on a ferry boat?

Anonymous · Answer

Things can always change. You can still go back to school even if it means taking one class at a time for now. Exactly how much debt are you in? Do you live on your own? I didn’t start changing a lot of things in my life financially till I was about 40, so I was way behind the curb on getting a good start in life. You have 10 years on me as far as making that change now. Your mentality is already shutting down any possibility of ever changing your life. I read a book once, can’t remember who it was by. But the author said instead of saying I can’t afford it, ask yourself how can you afford it. A simple change in thought, in words opens up your mind to brain storming how can I achieve this. If you just say I can’t afford this then your brain shuts down. So ask yourself how can you get out of your situation?