I’m in love with a guy that doesn’t love me. How can I forget him and move on?

[Anonymous]

He actually hates me so much that he can’t bear to see me on social media. I feel in love with him when I was 13, now I’m 24 and still love him. I can’t seem to move on or like other guys. He blocked me so many times, embarrassed and humiliated me in front my family too many times and so on. I haven’t spoke to him for 5 years but one day this year I broke the no contact and told him I loved him and goodbye. He told me he called the cops on me. I feel like a clown and stupid. I hate myself so much and him too, I need to move on and forget him, it’s so painful and draining to deal with him or to be in love with someone who hates your guts and want the universe rid of you for once. How can I forget him and move on? Please help

[NathanOlipop]

I remember my first girlfriend when I was 13 years old. I didn't know she really liked me, but I asked her out because my uncle who I lived with at the time said I couldn't come home unless I got a girlfriend so I did. Little did I know she liked me big time. She was my first kiss. I feel so bad today because honestly had I developed social and emotional skills after asking her out, things would have went better as opposed to before asking her out, in which those emotional skills would have probably scared me from asking her out. She ended up trying to get me to chase her, which didn't happen for obvious reasons. I was dating her best friend after that and the reason was because I simply "needed" a girlfriend and not for romantic reasons which I wasn't ready for or understood at the time. She thought I was dating her best friend to try and get back with her. The reason I was so emotionless and lacked so many social skills is because I was greatly mentally abused by my mother growing up. She prevented me from having friends, isolated me, and beat me. She always made an excuse to try and make me believe I did something that warranted getting slapped or hit, such as not cleaning my room, but in the end she always made something up and nobody really cared if it was seen as "discipline". I'm 34 years old now and I've barely began "feeling" for other people. I've never accepted jobs too many times which require me to "feel" for others or "interact" with others like customer service. I've been in the military, I've been a trucker, I've been pretty much everything someone with mommy issues has been and more than anything before, I really desire love today and guess what, at this moment I would pretty much accept anybody so long as they understand my limitations and brought me peace. Now today, I even feel bad about the idea of no longer seeing my co-workers, even the ones that hate me.

[Asker]

I’m sorry to hear that, I hope one day you can heal from your past.

[NathanOlipop]

U_U thank you fam and I hope you find true love and happiness

[D_Bone_Steak]

Look up the term "Alpha Widowed" in google or something.

Once you do that much homework for me, you'll know a smidge of what's on my fractured mind.

I don't fully understand the female brain where they start thinking that because they had this guy or that guy, they deserve that guy, without accepting accountability for what that guy left or seeing you as a 'practice girl' for his future endeavors.

But try to understand this from my perspective, which may be just as confusing to you... You're a fucking psycho following him around on social media, he split up with you for reasons and I bet they were good reasons and now you contact him after 5 years and...

What do you expect? You expect him to suddenly be enamored in your shit again when he's probably moved on? You are remaining stagnant and not moving on yourself. I would go so far as to say he was out of your league, but you really thought you had him. You are not being healthy and you need to move on.

[Flower7]

Stop viewing his social media for one thing. That should help you to stop remembering him so much.

[Asker]

Yes I kind of did that, I blocked him from accessing me and me from acccessing him

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I agree with the others on here. You need therapy.

[Asker]

Any reason why?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

You are not respecting his boundaries and you are stalking him. You won't set boundaries for yourself and you are deluding yourself into thinking you are in love. This has nothing to do with love. Love would leave him alone and let him live his life in peace. A therapist would compassionately listen to your story, and guide you toward challenging your thought patterns in helpful ways.

[Asker]

The realest thing I’ve ever heard, thank you for that ❤️, do you have any advice or tips on how to leave him alone like how can I use my time to focus on myself and forget him?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Of course.
1. Therapy
2. Something active (walking, hiking, working out)
3. Something creative (art, music, dance) No need to be skilled, just try something.
4. Make a plan to better yourself; you'll need to save money and improve your work skill set.
5. Work on developing healthy friendships with people who have already reached similar goals
6. Create a motivation playlist for times when you want to sink into negative patterns
7. Journal your thoughts; either in an actual journal or on your phone. This helps process emotions without making damaging choices.
8. Acknowledge how you feel and don't beat yourself up, but don't make it bigger than it is, either.

I wish you luck. :)

[Asker]

Thank you for that kind stranger, it means a lot ❤️

[Tarifa]

I don't think you need therapy, as many have suggested. You can get over it by yourself, but it's not going to be easy. You need to reflect on your current situation. Most importantly, do not confuse reality with your desires.

Most of us have been there. A serious crush is something that hurts to the point it paralyzes you, it prevents you from detatching yourself from an emotional point of view. But you may also miss out on alternatives that present themselves to you and are unable to see.

Send me a DM if you want to discuss ths further.

[Finchie40]

You need to seek therapy and get yourself some serious help, Why would you be obsessed with someone that doesn’t want anything to do with you? What is so great about this guy that you are holding on to? You are a stalker in a sense and you can face serious crime if you don’t stop doing this shit.

[noohair]

When I live in the past I can't grow as a person. I also don't like being around people that don't like me. You seem to have an obsession with this person. I would suggest you find some type of therapy to get you moving forward to build your life. Good Luck.

[David6668]

Really felt bad 😔 about u gone through the same situation myself. Can you adress what he has that others guys don't or what quality made you love him...

[Asker]

No one ever made me feel the way he did, he used to look and care for me as his own, I felt really connected to him and he was like a dream to me, he would literally beat anyone who ever hurt me.

[Emmytexrex]

Guys don't hit on you? or they do but you still like this guy because if you have a lot of guys hitting on you, you would have not been thinking about this guy at all and he knows that

[Asker]

You’re right, u made me realize something and you know what I don’t really put myself out there for religious reasons and I guess he don’t see me as a competition among guys so I think maybe he knows that he doesn’t have to worry

[Crazzyyworld]

You know love = hate. And it’s all inside of your head. Try to look into the guy’s face inside of your mind and you will see him different looking. You are in love with your imagination

[StevenMcGarrett]

Half the population are guys. You can't find anyone else? Especially someone that treats you horribly. You probably need more advice than gag can give. Seek counseling. Good luck.

[turnpost]

Break down why you like this person?

Reflect on yourself, maybe you dont go out much, get a hobby that is productive. Get off the internet with blockers

[Shy_Steve]

It is going to be hard for a while, But your just going to have to put up with it until find another Guy you like and in the future you will be glad you did, Trust me.

[EmmaMary]

REPORTED...DUPLICATE.

[Staximus]

Why do you still love him? Ask yourself that.

[lorenzomichael]

You said it right there you need to forget him and move on plain and simple.

[Sunlight4]

Love is two way highway, it’s not a dead end street.

[Lynx122]

Are you like a stalker or something?

[Asker]

That’s what he keeps calling me so yes.

[Asker]

I never physically stalked him only online.

[Lynx122]

Well if he blocks you just stop stalking him it might be difficult in the beginning but over time the void you feel will be filled with other things. Like go for walks take up a hobby do something you enjoy that isn't revolving around another person.

[Asker]

Sure thing! I’m trying but first I want to accept that I’m a stalker and I don’t want to be a stalker anymore.

[red-lipstick-girl]

11 years have passed and you haven't forgotten

[Asker]

No, he’s that toxic

[red-lipstick-girl]

This is a very bad situation

[Asker]

Every time I try to focus on myself he comes back and leave bread crumbs for me and that’s they thing that messes me up because I’m still holding on to that thread of hope that he loves me but all he does is play me and laugh at me

[ChicoFromThe305]

Why does he hate you?

[Asker]

He hurt me and I did something to hurt him back and he found out it was me because I low key let him know it was me. Since then he hates me, but they way I look at it is that we’re even now

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well being even isn't always worth it, revenge for perry things lead to petty results, you should've just moved on like a normal person, I don't think there's much you can do to stop him from hating you.

[Asker]

I know…. I’ll let him go

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cool 👍🏼

[jahaims]

That isn't love and you need therapy

[Asker]

Why do I need therapy

[Raaj4you]

Find a new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

You need therapy.

[Asker]

Any reason?