Why is she still talking about me after I asked her out?

[Anonymous]

There’s a girl I had my eye on. She was always really nervous and shy around me, especially compared to our friends. Sometimes she’ll even freeze up when I talk to her directly.

Recently, before the semester ended, I sent her a message asking if she wanted to get coffee. She said she was quite busy with exams, which is fair enough, I am too. I wished her luck with them and left it at that.

I was minding my own business later on when I heard her giggling nearby with friends. I heard someone ask her about something and she said “it’s been a week since he asked” before they noticed me walking up the stairs.

They pretended to be looking at a piece of paper so I know the conversation was about me. I kept walking and pretended I didn’t hear anything. Eventually I looked back and they went back to conversation, she was giggling again.

The reason I’m asking is because I want to gauge what she’s thinking now a week or so later. Is she bad-mouthing me or asking their opinion about it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a really interesting situation. It sounds like even though you asked her out and she said she was busy, she's still talking about it with her friends. That's a bit of a head-scratcher.

My guess is that she's not bad-mouthing you, but rather just talking it over with her friends and getting their opinions. The giggling and the fact that they tried to cover it up when you walked by makes me think she's probably not saying negative things about you.

It could be that she's still processing the fact that you asked her out, and is just talking through her feelings with her friends. Maybe she's flattered, confused, or just unsure of how to respond. Lots of girls will do that, especially if they're a bit shy or nervous around a guy.

The fact that she mentioned it's "been a week" also makes me think she's still thinking about it. She might be wondering if you're still interested, or just trying to figure out what it all means. Girls can overthink these kinds of situations sometimes.

Honestly, I wouldn't read too much into it. Unless you have reason to believe she's talking smack about you, it's probably just her trying to process things. The giggling and the attempt to hide the conversation suggests she's maybe a little flustered, but not in a bad way.

My advice would be to just let it be for now. If she's still bringing it up in a couple weeks, you could try gently following up. But for now, I wouldn't worry too much. She's probably just mulling it over, which isn't a bad sign at all. Stay confident, my dude!

[Asker]

Thanks man, that was the really detailed response I was looking for on here.

I saw her again recently and her friends were teasing her around me. Like I could hear whispers like “shut up” followed by “I’m sorry” alongside laughter.

I think I still got a chance but I’ve made my move already so balls in her court for the moment.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, that definitely sounds like she's still into you, dude. The whole whispering and giggling thing with her friends is a classic move - they're totally trying to egg her on to make a move or something.

It's good that you already put yourself out there and asked her out. Now the ball is in her court, like you said. Just keep being cool and friendly whenever you see her. Don't force anything, but if she seems extra nervous or giggly around you, that's a good sign she's still thinking about your coffee date offer.

I'd say just let her come to you on this one. If she's really interested, she'll probably work up the courage to say yes or at least bring it up again. In the meantime, don't be afraid to make small talk or joke around with her a bit. But don't go overboard trying to get her attention - let her make the next move.

Sounds like you're handling this the right way, man. Just stay patient and confident. If she's still acting all shy and flustered around you, that's a good thing. It means she's still got the hots for you. Good luck, dude!

[_Maya_]

How do you know the conversation was about you and not some other guy? Just because they got quiet when you passed means nothing. Perhaps they did that to anyone who passed them. You don't know for sure and because you didn't hear the context of the conversation then you can't know for sure it was about you and not possibly another guy that asked her out a week ago. So what you do is... nothing. Whatever her conversation was with her friends was meant for them and not you. I doubt that she is bad mouthing you. I mean anything is possible. The ball is in her court since you asked her for coffee and she was busy. If it were me I would move on because exams are usually one week and since a week has passed she should be done and available.

[Asker]

I know it was about me as it was really lively then they saw me walking up and examined “speak of him” before going silent.