What type of behavior is this?

[fugazatron3k]

I've began talking to this older, shy woman at work who I think had a crush on me. She gave me those typical indications most shy girls do when they like someone: hovering, smiling, staring, to name a few.

Being shy, she also seems nervous, often leading me to carry the conversation. I've probably had 4 or 5 interactions, and to be honest, I'd also threw back signals to show that I liked her.

I had yet to ask for her number because I kind of wanted to have a good conversation before I asked (yes, I know - ask for her number anyways).

Anyway, during break, I had been talking to another co-worker (who happens to be a girl). I noticed her with her friend 10 feet away from me. Out of nowhere, she comes up to my face, pretending to look at the posterboard behind me. A straight-face, almost like "hey, it's me". When I said hello, she said nothing, just continued to stare.

Already being in a conversation, I brushed her aside (she did not move), and finished my convo with my co worker. My co worker noticed this and commented me about it.

I noticed she left to talk with her friend in another language, seemingly frustrated. Her friend was looking at me the whole time.

The next day, I asked her if she was upset with me or if I did anything. She denied anything having happened or didn't seem to remember it. I'm in my 30s and she's nearing 40.

in my opinion as an adult, i think the best option is to communicate and honestly, I found her very rude.

[fartingspinster]

I agree with you - she's an adult and should offer honest conversation. But she was rude and quite entitled in my opinion.

I think she created this big fantasy in her head about you two. Probably told her friend too and maybe thats why they were both their talking? Either her friend noticed you talking to this coworker (who probably is younger and pretty?) Thought you weren't being loyal to her friend and called her over.

This delusional nearing 40 year old had her and ego attack and needed to act on it, hence coming in the vicinity and ignoring you as a passive aggressive way of getting back at you for hurting her (again - all in her head).

She may have bene raised by a passive aggressive mother or if she's middle Eastern or Asian of any kind - this is a very typical cultural issue. Females are not allowed to be straightforward and communicate their feelings, so they are taught and learn to be passive aggressive. If she hasn't learned to undo this as she is leaning into 40s... I dont think she'll ever learn. So best to stay away because it'll only cause a lot of problems.

You dodged a massive bullet there

[fartingspinster]

@fugazatron3k There's a superb opinion now? 😱
neat! Thanks ahah

[xcheerleader_jessx]

I see these traits: Passive aggressive, possessive, jealous, intimidating, demanding by using her presence, pretends to be in denial.

Or... Maybe she doesn't know how to navigate social situations. She was fearful of you not liking her anymore. She might've been hurt in the past before and wants to weed you out before moving further forward...

Was your coworker pretty? How do you interact with your coworker compared when you interact with her? Is the difference noticeable? Exchanging numbers should've given her confidence that she is past the coworker zone. She might be trying to figure you out.

[RingOfFire]

I would do nothing and stay away from her. If she somehow slighted you and cares enough, she will apologize and that would be the beginning of a good conversation. If she doesn't, then you maybe misreading the whole situation.

Guys often tend to feel that women are more interested in them than they actually are. You're sort of doing a kabuki dance here. I would say you either need to get to the point with her or forget it and move on.

But I think you've reached the point where the ball has to be in her Court because if you press it it's really not appropriate at this point since she already expressed some desire to be left alone. So I would leave her alone. If she's interested she'll have to express it herself.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say rude as much as immature and naive.

Cmon, you still haven't dated yet. And the conversation context should show.
Unless you ans this co-worker were having such an easy smooth flowing comversation and with some laughter or so.. where she'd naturally think

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know, seems half my answer just disappeared. Anyway you should be able to get this gist of it.

[SueShe]

Well, why do you need to have her number since you are talking with her on a face-to-face basis? Is that not redundant to have the number when you can have a much better conversation seeing the person?

As to why she behaved that way? She would be the only one that is capable of giving you a reply but I doubt that she will. It seems that you must have done or said something in the past to aggravate her. Whatever it is, give her time and don't press her into a statement.

The question here is also: What are your intentions with that lady?

[fugazatron3k]

I didn't do anything to aggravate her. And the number is irrelevant. Seems weirdly jealous to me

[SueShe]

It could be anything really. A bad day, her periods, just about anything that put her in a bad mood.

Best is to forget about her and to move on.

[Pet68]

His intention is to have sex with her. What else?

[SueShe]

@Pet68 Yes of course, I am aware of that fact.

[TheSpaceGnome]

She was listening into your conversation to try to see if you were flirting with the other girl.

She is interested in you, but only if you only have eyes for her. So by listening in but not saying anything, she remains neutral to avoid a scene or humiliation.

Basically she won't admit she likes you unless she knows you only like her, because she is shy and doesn't want all of work to know she got rejected as that would give her a lot of negative attention, and she doesn't want to compete because you can't do that when acting shy.

This is her way of figuring you out and figuring out if she should duck out of trying to be with you or not.

However because you can't catch on to that, you may not be the best match for her.

Or at least based on the limited info you gave, thats what the situation seems like.

[Summeroflove]

Ask her for a date see what she says. She will either agree, reject you, or not give a clear answer leaving the ball in her court. People who are shy aren’t necessarily playing games they are just nervous and once you get to know one another you’ll become more comfortable.

[molonski2]

She is too old , extremely rude and a bit of a phycio by the sound of it , and nothing has begun yet , give her a wide birth and let it be , find yourself a younger girl , she is a nutcase.

[Nikki1989]

Why are you asking for her number if you work with her? You have already crossed a line. If anyone was rude here, it was you.

[fugazatron3k]

I didn't ask for her number (yet)

[TrueConfection]

Maybe she was afraid you lost interest in her?

[PrincessC16]

Yep. Either she's interested in you or not. She's sending mixed signals.

[moneymagnet24]

She is playing him lol

[PrincessC16]

Sounds like she likes mind games

[Crazzyyworld]

Tell her that you arr not interested in her sexually?

[Crazzyyworld]

obviously she is interested in you fuckly. she think that she will get attention from you by interrupting your business. she is a man user clearly.

[DishLady]

Lunacy. Don’t talk to her again.

[In_Trance]

This is a shit show. Get back to work

[Anonymous]

That's insecurity and jealousy.

[scott04sa22]

She's not interested

[bgnakey]

Sexual