How do you overcome public speaking?

[Anonymous]

I always get red on the face, I know that is what is stopping me from moving up in my workplace but how have you overcome fear of public speaking when you get super red

[abc3643]

I used to be deathly afraid of public speaking. But, one day around November 1987 when I was 24, I was basically forced to do it and something just clicked and, by the end of that 90 minutes, I was like a TV preacher.

Before I continue, I will state that what happened to me may and could likely happen to you, but I don't know your exact circumstances to know if it will.

Here's what happened.

During the Fall 1987 semester at my college, I was a 24-year-old PhD student. I got involved in some drama and switched advisors. I had to sacrifice my stipend for the rest of the semester and basically volunteer to be an unofficial teaching assistant. Now, my new advisor was a guy whose work I was more interested in. He was a young (only 4 years older than me) assistant professor and he taught "Introduction to Automatic Control", a senior mechanical engineering class. I knew the material very well. So, as part of getting in the good graces of the Mech Eng Department, I was made to give review sessions in Auto Control while my advisor was away on business.

The class was in a room that held a few dozen student and in a circular arrangement of 4 semicircular rows; the center being where the instructor is.

So, here I am. A few dozen kids only about 3 years younger than me. It was a review session, so there was nothing new to teach, per se. I don't remember how it started, but I do remember what I did...

While I was there, I remembered something my physics teacher taught us when I was taking AP Physics as a senior in high school 8 years earlier. He was talking about teaching / public speaking and he mentioned how some people with freeze up momentarily and go "uh... uh...". He advised "Just be quiet, take the time to compose your thoughts, then speak."

Back to the review session... Again, I don't remember how I started because I was probably shitty bricks from nerves... At some point, I probably asked if people had questions about whatever I was discussing...

AND THAT WAS IT...

It stopped being a one-way form of talking - just me to an audience - but, instead, it was a feedback loop (which is ironic; they teach that in that class). That is, I teach a bit, stop, see if there are questions and that they are "getting it", and then when they are OK, I move on.

I gained more and more confidence as I did this and, looking back, I understood why: I knew more about this stuff than anyone in the audience. It's not that I had control or authority over them, but simply there was pretty much no question about this subject that they could have thrown at me that I couldn't answer.

Furthermore, I began to ask THEM questions. I'd teach something, then ask them what they think. This gave me time to pause and think myself, but also engaged the class more and they had a better time.

I didn't realize it until my 50s, but what I was doing was using the Socratic Method of teaching. To me, that's instinctive.

Anyway, I lost the fear because I was confident about the material I was talking about.

I ended up volunteering to do more. In fact, some kids complained because the kids who attended my review sessions did better on the test than the kids who could not attend.

The next semester, I was the teaching assistant for that class and attended it as well taking my own notebook so I knew what the kids were being taught. My advisor was the teacher. He ended-up get mononucleosis so he couldn't teach the class for about 1/2 the semester, so I taught the class... and in a much larger room with about 100 kids.

My advisor called me into his office one day. We got the Tau Beta Pi ratings for Mech Eng instructors. He did well (and he was good and popular), but I got higher ratings. He was not too plussed about that because he was up for tenure (and didn't get it - and I didn't get my PhD either...).

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So, I am not saying this is a perfect recipe but here's my advice:

1. If you are public speaking, you likely know your subject / topic better than your audience. They are there to learn from you. Don't be afraid of their "judgment", but realize that, in a sense, you are in command.

2. Feel free to take breaks by talking WITH not to the audience for two reasons:
A. To give yourself a break.
B. To verify they are with you and getting whatever it is that you are talking/informing about.

3. Remember not to do "uh uh uh". If your thoughts are jumbled for a moment, take the few seconds to get your shit together and then proceed.

4. Also, just be prepared... no your topic before you talk because people will ask questions. If someone asks a question you can't answer, say that you can talk after the session is over or that you will look into it. After all, we are not omniscient oracles.

Good luck!

[abc3643]

And, yes, I get "super red". I really do.

[NathanDavis]

just keep doing it... till you get used to it

that's it

the more times you do it and "survive" it... the less intense all these feelings are going to be and the more easy for you to handle it as well

just keep up... lol

[Asker]

That is true!! I like that, thank you

[NathanDavis]

that's how I did it... anyway

[DishLady]

Have a nice refreshing glass of cold water and remind yourself to talk slower. Remind yourself that you have something important to say -- prioritize your MESSAGE over your feelings of anxiety. BREATHE.

Next, if you get red in the face, just power through it. Eventually you'll get used to powering through it and you won't get as nervous and everything will be fine.