Is it too late at 39?

[Anonymous]

I never was one to give up; but here I am at 39, mal and never had a girlfriend.

Not really sure how this even happened, I tried a lot. I’ve asked out quite a few women in my life and been rejected by all of them. Hundreds and hundreds all for simply lacking experience. I’m wondering if it’s too late to even try now and if I should just resign myself to paying for it. Is it?

[SueShe]

When you say "paying for it", do you mean just the fornicating part?

Because you can pay as much as you want but love cannot be bought. You will only ruin yourself wanting to pay a woman for love. She might give you want you think is love but that is not love, that is only something very superficial.

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety if those are part of your problem.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

If you are dissatisfied with the way you look, then simple steps may have a positive impact on you. Try first to change your hairstyle and clothing. They may be one of the reasons why you feel insecure. Learn to smile because people are also judged on how they appear to others. If you frown all the time and never smile, you will be tagged as a person that is difficult to befriend or be with. Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

It is never too late, and don't listen to the idiot men on here for advice. They will only make everything 100 times worse for you.

[Asker]

It’s mostly women who’ve told me to give up and die alone. Online or offline

[Hellraiser1984]

I'm 41 same situation. I've been cheated on 3 times. The last one was engaged for 3 years and never told me. I give up. I'm focusing on school I'm getting my masters in library science. I'm going btoove back toy home state (Washington State) Kansas sucks. Dating to me isn't worth it anymore. Too many screwed up people. It's not our fault, women are really screwed up right now, I don't think we should worry about love anymore. I found guy friends that fill my loneliness. Dungeons and dragons is a fun game. If you really need to get laid use tinder or save up for a vacation to the bunny ranch. The girls are nice. They don't treat you like you're nothing. Yes they want to get paid but they don't pressure you. You'll enjoy it. Just be nice and follow the rules no means no. Don't ask to to make a video they find it rude.

[Anonymous]

If you have the money sure you can pay for sex. You can even find prostitutes to pay to have dinner and chat with you, or just cuddle. It can help you get used to the feeling of intimacy with a woman.

Other than that, you can certainly find people to date but most in your age range will be women who were previously married or single mothers looking for someone to raise their kids. If you aren't interested in that, you can look for younger women. A surprising amount in their early 20's do like much older men.

So in short, no, it's not too late. But you have to be realistic about what your options and what you want.

[Asker]

Previously married is fine, I don’t want a woman comparing me to others anyway and holding it over my head.

[Opinion Owner]

I’d say that’s doable

[Anonymous]

You need to have status. You can pursue knowledge get a PhD make a name for yourself in your filed. You need to have something people in your community value. It doesn't have to be money or your looks, but you need status. Show them you are accomplished in your filed of study.

As for paying for it I would say go a head, but do it in a country where it is legal it is not worth getting a criminal charge for that.

[Avicenna]

I once met a guy that didn't get his first girlfriend until he was in his 50s, when he was still living with his mom, so it can be done. Are you only asking out attractive women?

[Asker]

Not objectively. But yes I’d like to be somewhat attracted to them if only to have successful sex

[Avicenna]

That's understandable, but you can always have sex in the dark.

[moviedude714]

Interesting not very many people still have a parent in their life by the time they reach their fifties

[Avicenna]

@moviedude714: Yeah, I think she was 82 and he was 55 at that point. Got a nice girlfriend too.

[moviedude714]

I assume his girlfriend was younger than him or close to the same age? was the guy a virgin until his 50s as well? Just asking because people do have casual sex though or they do it as what is called the oldest profession as in paying for it

[Avicenna]

@moviedude714: I don't know how old she was, although I did see her a couple of times (he was a neighbor or my ex's parents) and she looked like she was about 50.

[Anonymous]

Most people will say no though

[Anonymous]

yeah oh well, another brutal reminder