Why does she get mad at another girl?

[Anonymous]

So Saturday i was out in town.
I am talking to this girl I am into, i believe her to be into me. We had kissed a couple of times.

But as I was talking to her another girl said hi to me and called me Maxi. My name is Maximilian, so it is quite common for people to call me that.

But the girl I liked felt like this was special for us and gets pissed at this girl. ‘Why the f*** do you call him that’ she asked surprised.
I was surprised by her reaction.

I later asked her about it because i said you know it is common for people to call me that and she said she really overreacted and just felt like it was personal for us.

Now today she texted me: about what happened this weekend don’t think I am super into you or anything, I overreacted.

I feel like she is really into me: acting like i am hers, saying she loves me, even kisses and misses me.

But now she pushes me away like it was all nothing and it ‘just happened’

[HollyK21]

What is your current standing with this girl? Do you like her and does she know that? Because it sounds like how you feel about each other is not a conversation you two have had, and if you haven’t then she may be trying to protect herself from looking foolish or being hurt by unreciprocated affection. In my opinion trying to date these days can be such mess. People are so afraid of being vulnerable, getting hurt or being disappointed that they’d rather play games. This woman has most likely been hurt somehow in the past and now her defenses are up. If she’s never gotten confirmation that you’re into her and she’s trying to play by her own rule lol of right and wrongs, it creates a confusing situation when that doesn’t have to be the case.

[HollyK21]

**rulebook of rights and wrongs

[Asker]

Thanks for your response.
We have had the conversation quite a couple of times. Usually started by her. I really want it and she knows it.
But she is afraid, which she has expressed but the one time it is like she is down and the one time she says she isn’t sure.

A lot has been said between us, good and bad but she keeps coming back and sometimes showing behavior as extreme as this.

I think she really has feelings, which she sometimes admits and I really like her. But at a point this behavior will be too much

[HollyK21]

In that case, maybe it’s time for you to move on from her. I don’t suggest this lightly whatsoever, I know when you share a history with someone it’s not as easy as just being done. But I think it’s so important to know when to walk away, and to be strong enough to do it because dealing with that woman/man is no longer in your best interest.

At this point, her straddling the fence and being wishy washy like this simply isn’t fair. Not to say that you’ve been a saint, I’m sure you have your faults. Regardless of that, it sounds like you’ve made your good intentions clear, and she’s not mentally in a place to do the same. It’s no longer fair for her to essentially police you even hinting at talking to other women (which wasn’t the case at all but she acted like it), while simultaneously not wanting you for herself. You could be missing out on so many other opportunities because you’re trying to reserve yourself for this woman, and thats just not ok.

She’s clearly gone through some things, and I’m sure you empathize with her and are trying to be patient. I’m sure you also really want this all to pay off because at the end of the day you do like her and have hope for her. But like you said, it gets to a point and you should want someone who is as sure about you as you are about them. Someone who doesn’t need weeks, months, even years to be ready. If she’s this affected by her past situations, the last thing she needs is another man. She needs to heal all that so that guys like you aren’t inadvertently paying for another man’s sins.

[Asker]

Wow, you really said a lot of things I have been thinking about myself too.
Thanks for the advice

[HollyK21]

No problem, wishing you luck on this👍