My friend's boobs are literally getting in the way of our friendship... what to do?

[Anonymous]

The title may sound ridiculous but it's literally what's happening.

So a close friend I made relatively recently is a sweet woman with pretty big tits. Not absurdly huge or anything but enough to create lots of cleavage, look big even in a turtle neck, completely squash up against my chest when hugging, etc.

And that last part is actually the problem. When hugging her breasts literally touch me first before the rest of her entire body.

She has a boyfriend and has made it clear to me she hates being sexualized. Touch is her main love language so she hugs all her close friends.

So I can't help but feel guilty when her big boobs touch me in a hug.

I tried just hugging her more lightly or without putting my arms around her back all the way but she didn't like that. She likes really tight hugs with my arms all the way around her back.

This definitely makes me pop a boner and I try to make it so the hug doesn't last too long so it doesn't poke into her.

She has told me before she has high functioning autism so perhaps she doesn't realize what breasts pressing against a guy's chest does to a guy?

I mean she was pretty oblivious a few times when guys were obviously flirting with her and she didn't even notice. Like when this random guy complimented her eyes and asked to carry her bags even though they were very light with not much in them. She thought he wanted to be her new friend.

But yeah. I'm at a loss about what to do here.

I do love her hugs she's a very sweet woman but I can't help but feel I'm sexualizing her against her will.

If anyone is thinking this no she is not a slut. She hugs all her friends tightly female or male. She has a boyfriend and is loyal to him. She doesn't even wear revealing clothes. She wears high neck baggy tops though they don't make her boobs look any smaller.

[DryGermanGuy]

You have to employ countermeasures. Wear an inflatable lifejacket and when boobgirl comes too close, you pull the cords. 👍

[Asker]

Not sure if this sounds like the best idea or the worst idea ever.

[Anonymous]

As someone with big bazooms, I can relate a bit. It's apain, at times, trying to figure out who genuinely likes you add a person over who's there for more lusty reasons.
She sounds like a sweetie. Based on your description, I recommend just leaving it be. Eventually they just torn to background noise

[MisterPandemonium]

Do some guys literally seek out your company just on the off-chance that they could get a big-boob hug?

[Opinion Owner]

Some, yes. And usually they're fairly easy to spot. Like the girl in the poster's story, I give those big hugs to my close friends and family. Mine are large, so they're inadvertently in the way there. For those I don't deem close, a handshake, or if there's a hug then I'll do the lean over technique so they get more shoulder than boob. Tell me why some whom I scarcely know will give me those big tight hugs and EVERY TIME do do a thing where they slightly move their chest side to side to move mine around a bit... and they sniff my hair 😫😡🤬

[MisterPandemonium]

Wow. Sounds like you have a lot of... umm... fans? Admirers?

Has this been going on since you hit puberty? Or did it not start until your boobs got seriously large?

Are you sure this is boob-related? Could it maybe just be because you're hot?

[MisterPandemonium]

Can I ask how old you are? Just curious.

[Asker]

Nice to have a perspective from a woman in her situation! Men deserve to share perspectives as well but when it comes to this sort of topic I take opinions from women more serious since women know firsthand what it's like.

I can imagine. When it comes to attractive people or attractive traits you never know who just wants to get in your pants. This is a situation in which ugly people have it better because if someone loves an ugly person you know it's for their personality and not their appearance.

Oh yes, she's a massive sweetie. Arguably the nicest person I've ever met in my life. She has really high emotional intelligence where if you're feeling bad she can look right in your eyes for like two seconds and tell you're feeling bad before you even tell her and she'll ask if you're okay and what she can do to help.

Thanks for your recommendation! Sounds the most practical.

Also in reference to your reply to MisterPandemonium. Yes. It's very weird that someone you barely know would hug you like that. Sorry to hear. And then the sniffing hair part. Ouch.

[Asker]

@MisterPandemonium Don't know if my hunch is always right your questions towards pink anonymous 25-29 seem to be increasingly titillating and kind of creepy.

Though to be fair you are 16. I know teens around your age have your hormones going crazy.

But regardless even though my original post is about breasts it was about NOT sexualizing my friend's breasts. Not leaning into the sexualization.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm 28; 29 in a couple of days. For me, and arguably for most, it starts around puberty. The moment we start developing, the attention and energy we get tends to change. I started developing at 9 and by the time I was 13 I was already a large C cup. The attention I was getting from boys my age was new, exciting and weird. Buuuuut I was also getting attention from grown men, including a family member and that was... well let's not talk about that. Back on topic, it started early, and became more prevalent as I got older and they grew larger. By 20-21 I reached my current size of 34 F, and I'm 5'11 so people kinda see it as a spectacle of sorts. Also means any short people I hug have pillows to rest on

[MisterPandemonium]

You can chat me if you feel like it. I'm apparently annoying the asker.

[Asker]

@MisterPandemonium Oh wow looks like pink anonymous 25-29 actually DOESN'T mind answering these types of questions. My bad.

I don't regret saying what I said but I know women can talk about their bodies in a way that other women can relate to but that at the same time they don't want men to sexualize their bodies when they have those talks.

Wasn't sure if that was what's happening here but I respect women's wants to not be sexualized unless of course they specifically seek out to be sexualized.

Not even saying your questions are 100% sexual but they do kind of come off that way.

[Nikki1989]

What the hell did I just read?

[Sirenboobzilla]

... I'm no better than a man 👀

[Asker]

I may be biased as I'm the one who wrote it but how the hell is this a weird story? It could be the spaces I hang out in online but I see at least 20 stories weirder than this daily. Way weirder actually.

Unless you just hang out in groups where you talk exactly as you would in real life without ever breaching into more personal stuff.

Either way though that's a nice picture!

[Asker]

@Sirenboobzilla Whenever someone says that it always makes me laugh for some reason.

[FunkyMonkee]

Simple. Just don't worry about it! If she thinks there's shit going with her tits when you hug, I'm pretty sure she'll stop.
Today, EVERYBODY'S autistic!!! It's all the rage!! People think badly of you if you're NOT autistic!!

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice! You have a point on that one. I find it low-key hard to believe that none of her friends female or male have ever said anything about it. So she might know but not care.

As for autism, somewhat insensitive but you do somewhat have a point.

Autism itself is a specific disorder you have to be diagnosed with.

Unfortunately though we now have a lot of people self-diagnosing thinking that they're automatically autistic just because they're introverted and/or like video games.

It's blurring the lines between real autistic people and self-diagnosers.

[FunkyMonkee]

Right. about 20 - 30 years ago, hardly anybody was autistic and it dealt with someone who never speaks and can't stand people touching them.
I've been alone most of my life and DO LIKE playing video games, a little but, I'm not at all autistic. I've been alone only because nobody else WANTS to hang out with me! Even when I'm in a houseful of people, hardly anybody comes to talk with me. Eventually, I end up in this big room all by myself while everyone else broke off into smaller groups and went to different rooms. I don't know anything about sports, cars, drugs, booze and, until recently, politics so, as that's what they were all talking about, I couldn't join in. Now, if you wanna start talking music, t. v., movies, records, drums or comedy, I can talk but, most often, those subjects only last a few minutes until they get back into sports and what have you.

[Asker]

That makes sense. Sometimes you just simply don't fit in with most people and it has nothing to do with autism.

I totally relate to you on the part about having uncommon hobbies. It all started as a little kid when I would rather draw and color than play sports and it continued from there.

Most of what you mentioned sounds more fun to me than the more mainstream stuff. Or at least for the music, TV, movies, and comedy that I know more about.

School was never fun because school is all about fitting in and if you don't fit in then fuck you I guess.

[FunkyMonkee]

Did you ever see, "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer"? Remember how all the others treated him because he wasn't completely like them? I'm Rudolph!! Remember, Casper, The Friendly Ghost? The ghost of a little boy who always just wants someone to play with and EVERY TIME he FINALLY finds someone to play with, they get taken away from him, sometimes by the parents of the other kid (s), mostly because they just don't take the time to understand? I'm Casper!
All the neighborhood kids LOVED playing with my little brother (a year behind me) because he was all about guns, firecrackers, matches and things he could set fire to or explode!! So, if I wanted to play with them, I had to get into that stuff, too.
They weren't the least bit interested in my record collection or much of music, in general. At least, not until I got a set of drums for Christmas when I was 10. Then they knew who I was because they all wanted to have a bash on my drums, too but, I was afraid they might break them so, I rarely ever let them play them.
I started collecting records when I was 2. I've got well over 62,000, now.
Played drums in a local band for 25 years. We were recording out third album when we broke up.
School was mostly avoiding the bullies and even your "friends" could turn on you in an instant!!
I liked colouring, too. One Christmas (I was 13) I got a really nice set of coloured pencils and I couldn't wait to do things with them. Must've been 30 or 40 in the set. They vanished almost as soon as I got them!!
Playing cards is another of my fave things but dad and a couple aunts and uncles were the only ones that'd ever play!! If it was Annette & Jim that came to visit, we'd play Kill for several hours. If it was my aunt Shirley that came up from Phoenix, dad'd get his brother, Wally and HIS wife to come down and we'd play penny ante poker all night.
Now, I've got nobody to play cards with, share my music with or even sit around bullshitting.

[LongLiveBillGates]

You're bitching about a girl with big boobs? What the fuck is wrong with you?

[WonderingManII]

Sounds like a strange woman.

[Raydergman26]

Make out with the person and marry them

[Asker]

Lol. Not bad advice in other contexts.