“He’s just a friend. That’s all he will ever be.”
I’m sure many couples have been through this situation before: A boyfriend becomes wary and jealous of his girlfriend’s best friend, who just so happens to be another guy. They’re close as friends, so close in fact that it seems like they have a dating relationship of their own. But the girlfriend assures the boyfriend that nothing is amiss. It’s her best friend, and he could never be anything more.
Does the boyfriend have any right to tell his girlfriend that he is uncomfortable with the closeness of her and her best friend’s relationship? While some might be quick to say that such a boyfriend would be treading the waters of a controlling relationship, consider this:
It is safe to say that relationships blossom with time. They have somewhat of a natural “flow” to them that strengthens between two people. From my perspective as a boyfriend, I would feel uncomfortable with anything that would obstruct that flow. In this case, that obstruction is my girlfriend’s best friend (a guy). While I have no issue with her having friends, this seems a little too close for comfort.
They go out to eat on a regular and almost daily basis. They take long walks at night well after I have gone to bed. They take and post dozens of pictures of their time together on Facebook, even if it is something as trivial as going to the store. They text each other every hour on the hour, and frequently talk on the phone. They see movies at the theater weekly.
My issue with all of this is that my girlfriend rarely does any of the above mentioned when we are together. Almost never does she post anything about us on Facebook. She never likes to talk on the phone, and will only see a movie with me every once and a while.
She seems light years closer to her best friend then she does to me. Under a mutual agreement, however, we are trying to build a great relationship between us. Yet I feel like I am competing for her attention. I have absolutely no reservations about her having friends, but I feel that there should be a fine line. Do I have the right to bring this up and tell her to change her behavior, or at least ask for a compromise? Is it selfish to want her to consider my feelings in our budding relationship, even it she has to sacrifice something with her best friend?
I’m sure many couples have been through this situation before: A boyfriend becomes wary and jealous of his girlfriend’s best friend, who just so happens to be another guy. They’re close as friends, so close in fact that it seems like they have a dating relationship of their own. But the girlfriend assures the boyfriend that nothing is amiss. It’s her best friend, and he could never be anything more.
Does the boyfriend have any right to tell his girlfriend that he is uncomfortable with the closeness of her and her best friend’s relationship? While some might be quick to say that such a boyfriend would be treading the waters of a controlling relationship, consider this:
It is safe to say that relationships blossom with time. They have somewhat of a natural “flow” to them that strengthens between two people. From my perspective as a boyfriend, I would feel uncomfortable with anything that would obstruct that flow. In this case, that obstruction is my girlfriend’s best friend (a guy). While I have no issue with her having friends, this seems a little too close for comfort.
They go out to eat on a regular and almost daily basis. They take long walks at night well after I have gone to bed. They take and post dozens of pictures of their time together on Facebook, even if it is something as trivial as going to the store. They text each other every hour on the hour, and frequently talk on the phone. They see movies at the theater weekly.
My issue with all of this is that my girlfriend rarely does any of the above mentioned when we are together. Almost never does she post anything about us on Facebook. She never likes to talk on the phone, and will only see a movie with me every once and a while.
She seems light years closer to her best friend then she does to me. Under a mutual agreement, however, we are trying to build a great relationship between us. Yet I feel like I am competing for her attention. I have absolutely no reservations about her having friends, but I feel that there should be a fine line. Do I have the right to bring this up and tell her to change her behavior, or at least ask for a compromise? Is it selfish to want her to consider my feelings in our budding relationship, even it she has to sacrifice something with her best friend?
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